Manon Dulude Counseling Services

01/18/2026

The Distinction Between Guilt and Shame

Shame is often described as an internal cloak that distorts a person's self-perception and their view of the world. While guilt arises from a specific action that is considered wrong, shame is a deeper feeling of being fundamentally inadequate. This psychological state can lead to extreme behavioural patterns, including chronic over-performance or significant under-performance.

Resolution begins with recognising the presence of shame and understanding that the primary fear is often one's own self-judgment. Seeking professional therapy allows for an exploration of the root causes of this pain. Sharing your personal narrative in a safe environment is an effective method for processing past and current emotions. This process provides the opportunity to rewrite your personal story and move toward a healthier state of mind.

In-person therapy in Halton Hills
Virtual sessions across Ontario
905-703-0003
www.manondulude.com

01/15/2026

Nature-Based Exercise and Mental Well-Being: Why and How
by Brendan Kelly, M.D., Ph.D.

Our environment shapes our psychological well-being. This fact is often overshadowed by a focus on diagnosis, therapy, and medication. But maybe some of the secrets of good mental health are simpler than we thought.

In 2022, a review of research looked at whether the setting in which we exercise matters for how we feel. The findings suggest it does.

Natural settings help more

Across a range of experimental studies, people experienced better psychological outcomes when they engaged in physical activity in natural outdoor environments rather than urban ones. The benefits include lower anxiety and reduced anger, along with increases in energy, positive engagement, and overall affect.

When researchers pooled data from studies, the effects remained consistent: natural settings showed moderate to large improvements in anxiety, fatigue, positive affect, and vigor. There was also a smaller but still positive effect on symptoms of depression.

Continued at https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/psychiatry-and-society/202511/nature-based-exercise-and-mental-well-being-why-and-how/amp

01/13/2026

Why Some Trauma Survivors Can't Cry
Albert Wong Ph.D.

You've been there.

The funeral where tears wouldn't come. The breakup that felt like nothing. The moment someone asked, "Are you okay?" and you realized you genuinely couldn't feel anything at all.

Maybe you wondered what was wrong with you. Here's the thing: Nothing was wrong with you. What you experienced wasn't a malfunction. It was a feat of engineering.

The Gazelle Problem
In the 1970s, a young biophysicist named Peter Levine noticed something puzzling. Animals in the wild face life-threatening danger constantly—chased by predators, narrowly escaping death—yet they don't develop PTSD. Gazelles don't have flashbacks. Zebras don't go numb.

What Levine observed was this: after a close call, prey animals do something odd. They tremble. They shake, sometimes violently, for several minutes. Then they stand up, shake once more, and return to grazing as though nothing happened.

Continued at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-body-knows-the-way-home/202512/why-some-trauma-survivors-cant-cry

01/10/2026

Objective preparation is the most effective way to handle difficult conversations and avoid conflict escalation. Writing down your points beforehand allows you to separate factual events from the personal meaning you have assigned to them. This structured method prevents a dialogue from being derailed by emotional triggers or extraneous information that often leads to defensiveness.

To reach a resolution, clearly state the facts, your interpretation, and your specific feelings. Follow this with a request for change and a reciprocal offer of how you will respond in return. By sticking to a written script, you ensure the conversation remains productive and focused on future growth rather than past blame.

In-person therapy in Halton Hills
Virtual sessions across Ontario
905-703-0003
www.manondulude.com

01/08/2026

01/06/2026

What to Do When All You Feel Is "Bad"
Marwa Azab Ph.D.

Have you ever tried to tell someone that you were simply "in a bad mood," unable to tell them why?

Maybe you were angry, sad, disappointed, and anxious at the same time—or maybe you hadn't the faintest idea what you were feeling at all. That fuzzy, indistinct sense of misery is typical, but emerging research indicates that it comes with a psychological cost.

Over the past decade, a growing body of research has uncovered a surprising truth: people who can distinguish their emotions more precisely—who can tell frustration from guilt, or sadness from shame—cope better with stress and are less likely to develop depression. Conversely, when emotions blur together, life’s challenges can hit harder and linger longer.

Psychologists call this ability "emotion differentiation" or "emotional granularity"—essentially, how finely tuned your emotional awareness is.

The Science of "Murky" Emotions

Emotion differentiation isn’t about avoiding emotions—it’s about understanding them. High differentiation means being able to identify exactly what you’re feeling and why. Low differentiation (what scientists call “low NED,” for Negative Emotion Differentiation) means emotions blend into a vague sense of feeling bad.

Continued at https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/neuroscience-in-everyday-life/202510/when-all-you-feel-is-bad

01/02/2026

Bids for Repair: The Small Gestures That Save Relationships

A "bid for repair" is a crucial tool for navigating conflict within any relationship. These are small, intentional gestures designed to re-establish connection, even when tension or frustration is still present.

Reconnecting after a difficult conversation can feel awkward. A bid for repair bypasses the conflict by inviting your partner into a neutral, shared activity.

Examples of bids for repair include:

- Offering to make a cup of coffee.
- Inviting them to watch a show together.
- Asking them to join you for a walk.

The goal is to move the relationship back to a place of neutrality and connection without immediately needing to resolve the underlying conflict. It is an invitation to start moving forward together once again.

The next time you experience tension with your partner, try extending a bid for repair and notice how it shifts the dynamic.

Manon Dulude, Ph.D., RP, PCC
📍 In-person therapy in Halton Hills
💻 Virtual sessions across Ontario
📞 905-703-0003
🔗 manondulude.com

12/30/2025

The Pain of Feeling Unseen
by Whitney Coulson LCSW

If you’ve felt a kind of dull ache lately — not sadness exactly, but something quieter, harder to name — you’re not alone. The U.S. Surgeon General recently called loneliness a public health epidemic, comparing its impact on our health to smoking fifteen ci******es a day. It’s not hyperbole. It’s data.

In one CDC survey, nearly a third of adults said they feel lonely at least once a week. Among younger adults, that number rises to almost half. Harvard researchers found that 61 percent of young people and over half of mothers with small children report “serious loneliness.”

But what most people miss is that loneliness isn’t really about being by yourself. It’s about being unmet — unseen, unheard, or unimportant to anyone in a meaningful way. You can have a hundred unread texts and still feel like no one’s looking for you. You can sleep beside someone every night and still feel like you’re fading.

How We Got Here
Loneliness didn’t sneak up on us. We built the conditions for it.

We’ve traded in community for convenience, and connection for efficiency. Cities have fewer parks and third spaces. Work takes up more hours than it should. Friendships have been replaced by group chats that start with memes and end in silence.

Continued at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mood-lab/202511/the-loneliness-epidemic-is-worse-than-you-think

12/29/2025

If you have “failed” at your New Year’s resolutions in the past, it is not because you are weak or unmotivated. It’s because the structure of typical resolutions sets us up to fail.

Here are the big reasons why resolutions don’t work and some new strategies to try instead.

1. Resolutions are often too vague. Be specific.
Goals like “get fit,” “be healthier,” or “save money” aren’t clear enough to guide your behaviour. Without clarity, it’s hard to know what to do next.

Set a goal that is specific and reasonable. Know how you will measure success. For example: saving $50 per week, or eating 20 healthy meals with one treat meal as a reward.

2. Don’t rely on motivation. Build a system instead.
We often know what we need to do, and we spend time thinking about it before we commit. Motivation might be strong on January 1st, but it fades quickly. What keeps us going is structure—routines, reminders, and small steps.

Once your goal is clear, set actions to support it. Take notes. Find an accountability buddy. Celebrate every small victory.

3. Too much, too fast doesn’t work. Go slow and steady.
People often try to change too many things at once. Big overhauls are hard to maintain. Choose one goal. Know why it matters to you. Picture yourself having achieved it: “In six months, I will have lost 10 pounds.” Keep something nearby, like your inspiration pants, to stay motivated.

4. No accountability or tracking means less motivation.
Without tracking, it’s hard to see progress, and we give up too soon. There are many ways to measure success: time invested, money saved, steps walked, meals prepped. Use more than one way to track. That way, there is always something to celebrate. Every small win gives your brain a dopamine hit.

5. All-or-nothing thinking gets in the way. Aim for 80%.
Missing a day at the gym doesn’t mean you failed. Maybe you ate well or got some rest. Figure out what 80% success looks like and aim for that. Between 80 and 100 percent is still an “A.” You are human. Don’t quit because it wasn’t perfect.

6. Goals need to be emotionally meaningful.
If you choose a goal because you think you “should,” not because it matters to you, it won’t stick. Pick a goal that aligns with your values. Choose something that has meaning, that you truly want.

7. The January 1st effect creates pressure.
New Year’s creates a sense of urgency. But if the goal comes from the calendar and not your own readiness, it might not last. Yes, some times of year feel like a fresh start—January, September—but your Day 1 can be any day. Choose your own start date. Don’t wait for the perfect moment.

If you’d like, I can help you turn a vague resolution into a specific, realistic, enjoyable goal, and build a small system around it.

12/20/2025

Divorce isn’t failure - it’s a life transition.

Many people carry the weight of shame when a marriage ends, believing it means they’ve failed. But what if that isn’t true? What if it’s just a chapter in your love story, not the whole book?

In this video, I offer a different perspective on divorce: one that acknowledges the pain, but also the growth that follows.

Marriage is complex. Leaving one doesn’t make you broken. It means you’re rewriting your story, redefining who you are, and building a new future - one step at a time.

Whether you chose to leave or were left, this transition brings big emotions. You don’t have to face them alone.

📍 In-person therapy in Halton Hills
💻 Virtual sessions across Ontario
📞 905-703-0003
🔗 manondulude.com