http://www.theconnectedbaby.ca/

The Connected Baby Co, Halifax, NS (2026)

03/08/2022

You are magic ✨

Happy international women’s day 💕

02/27/2022

slowing down to connect with your baby is big work, it may even be the biggest work

there are many reasons why your baby sleeps best with or on you but there are also reasons why YOU might find it hard to stop staring at them and holding them while they sleep

not only does this time together force parents to take a break from their busy lives, but forming and strengthening this connection from the beginning is so beneficial for a lifelong bond 👨‍👩‍👧

it also helps your child form healthy, secure attachments with you that they can use to support future relationships

don’t feel guilty for one second for slowing down with your baby, before you know it life will speed right back up and you’ll be so grateful for the time you spent relaxing and remembering their little features 🥺

02/15/2022

Your child doesn’t “hate sleep,” they aren’t even “fighting sleep” - can we stop blaming sleep? 😅

Hating or fighting sleep is always about something else. It can be the big separation for your child, discomfort, a scheduling issue, hunger, or many other factors causing your child to resist this time - but it is NOT the sleep they are fighting 🤍

Has your child ever fought (or seemingly hated) sleep? Did you figure out the true cause?

02/10/2022

Does your baby nap for 30 minutes? 2 hours? Somewhere in between? What about just 10 minutes in your arms?

All of these nap lengths (and more!) can be ✨normal✨

There are lots of people who say anything under an hour is a “crap nap” or that you need to do the “crib hour or crib 60/75” (leaving baby in the crib for 60 or 75 minutes) in order to extend a nap to a *truly restful* nap. This simply isn’t true 🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️ (and FYI if your baby is in their crib it doesn’t mean they’re sleeping)

Best advice for reducing stress around nap lengths? Ignore the clock, seriously don’t even look at it. Watch your baby 👶🏼 they will tell you if their nap was valid and restful. If they wake happy and rested, even if it’s only been 10 min or 30 min or if it’s been 2 hours or more - then their nap was the right length! 👏🏼

If they’re waking fussy, cranky, seem tired - they may need some support falling back to sleep to extend their nap or may want to be held (if they weren’t already) for nap 2.0 ✌🏼

Please remember, cat naps are valid, normal, and healthy and a clock doesn’t determine if a nap is a “crap nap” - your baby does.

Share this with new mamas who may be stressing about those quick and efficient nappers 😴🤍

01/31/2022

Is your baby a light sleeper? Do they have short sleep cycles? This is NORMAL and healthy!

While as parents most of us would love for our babies to sleep longer and more deeply so we can get solid sleep, this really isn’t the safest sleep goal for our little ones.

Biologically babies are meant to wake frequently and stay in a lighter state of sleep. This actually keeps them safe and decreases the chances of SIDS.

Young babies have two sleep states: quiet and active. As they get a little older, often around the four month mark, they begin to have a third light sleep state as they move from being awake to asleep. Babies spend most of their time is active sleep, which is also when they are most likely to awaken. This lighter state of sleep allows babies to wake themselves when there is an issue.

Their lighter state of sleep and ability to wake easily is crucial if a baby is too cold, too hot, or not breathing. They may also wake for a number of other normal reasons too!

I know light sleepers with frequent wakes can be exhausting, I’m not denying that, but just know there’s nothing wrong with your baby or your parenting choices. Your baby is doing exactly what they need to protect themselves 💕

01/29/2022

Quoting my wise mother today because I think she has an interesting point with this perspective.

Before parenting books, we would have watched the mothers before us and we would have relied on what we just *felt* we should do and what felt right - I don’t think there would have been as much thought or questioning put into our parenting choices.

We would have parented based primarily on instincts because we would have had basically no other choice.

Parenting books have made us feel like someone else is the expert, someone else knows better, and someone else has the answers. But with how different our children and situations are it is impossible for someone else to know what is best for our families.

I do think there are a handful of books that can really help us understand our children and our roles as parents, but those are ones that emphasize the difference in each child and family and the importance of connection.

What do you think? Have parenting books in general helped or harmed our ability to parent from our instincts rather than our thoughts?

01/27/2022

Crying is such a tricky subject and topic of conversation in babies and children. Children who don’t cry or who appear always pleasant and agreeable are viewed as “good” kids and often seen as superior to children who do release their tears.

But children who cry ARE good kids and they AREN’T inferior to their non-crying peers.

We as a society are so uncomfortable with tears, sadness, and any emotion other than positive ones and we reflect these feelings onto our youngest generations.

While it’s true some children naturally cry more easily and more often than others, all children should feel comfortable releasing their emotions while supported by the ones they love.

When we ignore our child’s tears by not physically and emotionally responding to them, they can quickly learn that we are not comfortable being around them in that state. As a result they often stop showing us those emotions in order to keep us close.

This doesn’t always mean they’re happier, rather it CAN mean they’re suppressing their tears to protect the connection with us.

I believe it was Dr Gordon Neufeld who said “the tears we don’t cry out we cry in” - meaning if we can’t express and release our sadness or frustration we will internalize these feelings.

Our job is not to stop the tears of a frustrated, angry, or sad child. Our job is to support the tears and to stay with our child through their heartache as they release these emotions and can move on.

Do you struggle supporting your child’s tears?

01/26/2022

I often hear people say (especially in reference to sleep training) “you’ll know the difference in your baby’s cry: you’ll know if they’re actually hungry or need a diaper or if they just want attention”

When we get to toddlerhood (and even beyond) we often hear “oh they’re just acting out for attention”

What we often fail to recognize or remember is that the desire for attention actually stems from a deep-rooted NEED for connection.

Connection is an absolute need for all humans. It’s a non negotiable, we truly need it to survive and thrive.

If your child seems to be attention-seeking or crying “for attention” (especially when alone in their crib) I urge you to change your perspective. Sometimes just changing the word in your mind from “attention” or “connection” can make all the difference in how we respond 🤍

01/23/2022

This is something I see commonly, this idea that we have to teach babies how to do many things - eat, walk, sleep, talk, etc. It’s actually not true at all (in *most* cases).

Babies are born with innate abilities, eating, sleeping, eliminating are just three examples. They are born just KNOWING how to do these things - they do NOT need to be taught.

And walking, talking, crawling, etc are all naturally developed - we do not need to do anything at all to teach babies how to do these things. In some cases babies do need a little extra support, but for most little ones they will meet these developmental milestones when they’re ready, regardless of the fancy toys or clever strategies.

We don’t give our children enough credit - they can do a lot of things in their own time but what can help them to develop and thrive is a caregiver who is supportive and responsive.

Even if we needed to teach our child to eat, walk, crawl, etc we would NEVER use strategies of leaving them alone to figure it out, responding only at certain times, or responding in certain restricting ways (such as without touch or eye contact). So why do we attempt to “teach” our babies to sleep using these methods?

Why are mainstream methods of sleep “teaching” viewed completely differently than any other form of teaching?

I have my own thoughts, but what do you think? Why do you think we encouraged to respond fully when our child is struggling to walk but not when they are struggling to sleep? 👇🏼

01/21/2022

In a world where information is at our fingertips and advice is everywhere it is almost impossible not to second guess or doubt yourself when it comes to caring for your precious little person.

But remember, you were made for this, the instincts are within you - you may just have to listen extra carefully as you tune out the external noise.

If something feels good, it’s probably the right move. If something feels bad, maybe it’s not right for your family.

Do you know someone who could use this reminder? Let them know they’re doing an amazing job just by following their heart 🤍

01/19/2022

To follow up on my post yesterday regarding sleep training, I wanted to share my thoughts and feelings about parents who sleep train 🤍

While I don’t agree with sleep training, I truly don’t have any negative feelings or thoughts towards parents who sleep train.

In the end, we are all tired parents who love our babies and just want what’s best for them (and also some sleep 💤)

You’re doing amazing 💕

01/18/2022

🚨content warning: sleep training🚨

If you chose to sleep train your child using separation/cry-based methods:
• please use your discretion when choosing to read this post
• this information may be upsetting to some which is NOT my intention
• remember you are the best parent for your child and the decisions you make are personal to you and your family
• if this information is upsetting, take a deep breath and know that you are doing an amazing job, that you may not have known this information in the past, and that it is NOT YOUR FAULT if you felt pressured or misinformed when making past choices

Regardless what decisions you have made for your family, please be kind and understanding about the decisions of others 🤍

References:
• Cassels, T. (2012, January 19). What you need to know about crying-it-out | evolutionary ... Evolutionary Parenting. Retrieved January 18, 2022, from https://evolutionaryparenting.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-crying-it-out/
• Cry it out method: 6 baby experts who advise against it. BellyBelly. (2021, August 29). Retrieved January 18, 2022, from https://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/cry-it-out/
• Maté, G. (2006, February 6). From our 2006 archives: Why I no longer believe babies should cry themselves to sleep. The Globe and Mail. Retrieved January 18, 2022, from http://www.theglobeandmail.com/amp/life/parenting/why-i-no-longer-believe-babies-should-cry-themselves-to-sleep/article622978/
• Nolen, J. L. (n.d.). Learned helplessness. Encyclopædia Britannica. Retrieved January 18, 2022, from https://www.britannica.com/science/learned-helplessness

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