Therapy by Miss Jane

03/03/2026

Values aren’t absorbed through lectures. They’re absorbed through relationship.

If we hope our teens will carry our beliefs, boundaries, and moral compass into the world, those values have to be rooted in something deeper than authority. They have to be rooted in respect.

Respect isn’t demanded — it’s modeled.

It’s built when a child feels heard.
It’s strengthened when a parent owns their mistakes.
It’s reinforced when discipline is fair, consistent, and grounded in dignity rather than fear.

It grows when children experience both firm limits and steady love.

During the childhood years, we are laying the foundation. Every interaction communicates something:
• Do I feel safe with you?
• Do my feelings matter?
• Are rules about control — or about care?
• Can I trust you, even when I mess up?

When children experience guidance instead of humiliation, leadership instead of intimidation, and connection instead of control, they don’t just comply — they internalize.

By the time adolescence arrives, the power dynamic shifts. We no longer have the same level of control. What remains is influence. And influence flows from relationship.

If we want teenagers who think critically, choose wisely, and hold onto the values we’ve tried to instill, we must first become adults worthy of their trust and respect.

Respect is not built in the teenage years.

It is earned — moment by moment — in the childhood ones.

Support is available for children, youth and parents:
Amanda McCooeye, RSW - amanda@ingersollwellness.ca
Miss Jane, RP - jane@ingersollwellness.ca

02/27/2026

From a therapist’s perspective, one of the greatest strengths in a child–parent relationship is emotional safety. When a child feels secure, seen, and accepted at home, they develop the confidence to explore the world and return for comfort when needed. That sense of safety becomes the foundation for resilience, self-worth, and healthy relationships later in life.

Another powerful strength is consistent attunement — when parents notice, validate, and respond to their child’s emotions. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present. Repairing after conflict, listening without judgment, and modeling emotional regulation teach children how to manage their own feelings.

Finally, unconditional love paired with healthy boundaries creates balance. Warmth builds connection, and structure builds security. Together, they help children grow into capable, compassionate, and emotionally grounded adults.

Strong parent–child relationships aren’t built on perfection — they’re built on connection, consistency, and care.

02/25/2026

02/24/2026

“A child who is spanked is not learning how to behave. They are learning how to obey out of fear.” ~ Dr. Dan Siegel

Your Therapists Perspective:

This quote invites us to pause and really reflect on what we want our children to carry with them into adulthood.

Behaviour isn’t just about compliance. It’s about understanding.

It’s about learning how to regulate big emotions, repair mistakes, and make thoughtful choices — even when no one is watching.

When a child is spanked, the immediate result might look like “success.” The behaviour stops. The room gets quiet. The adult regains control. But what is the child actually learning in that moment?

They may be learning:
• Big people use power to solve problems.
• Mistakes lead to pain.
• It’s safer to hide the truth next time.
• Fear keeps me in line.

Fear can create short-term obedience. But it does not build long-term skills.

Children learn behaviour through connection, modeling, and repetition. They learn empathy when empathy is shown to them. They learn regulation when a calm adult helps them regulate. They learn accountability when they are guided through repair — not shamed into submission.

This does not mean permissiveness. It does not mean there are no boundaries. Strong, clear limits are incredibly important. But limits can exist alongside dignity. Consequences can exist alongside safety. Authority can exist alongside warmth.

The goal isn’t to raise children who obey because they are afraid. The goal is to raise children who choose well because they understand why it matters.

When we shift from “How do I stop this behaviour?” to “What is this child needing to learn right now?” — everything changes.

Parenting is hard. Regulation is hard. Breaking generational patterns is hard. But teaching through connection instead of fear builds something much stronger than obedience.

It builds character.

Amanda McCooeye, RSW - amanda@ingersollwellness.ca
Miss Jane, RP - jane@ingersollwellness.ca

02/21/2026

Parent burnout is real. When you're exhausted, overwhelmed, or emotionally drained ....your children feel it. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s emotional awareness and repair.

With Younger Children
• Name emotions calmly and neutrally – “I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now, so I’m going to take a minute to reset.”
• Model calming skills – Slow breathing, stepping away briefly, stretching.
• Create a calm-down space – A supportive reset spot, not punishment.
• Reassure often – “This isn’t about you. I’m just having a hard moment.”

With Teens
• Pause before reacting – Respond instead of exploding.
• Apologize when needed – Repair builds trust and emotional safety.
• Encourage healthy outlets – Journaling, movement, music, counseling.
• Respect space – Teens may regulate through independence.

🌼 Most Important
Your burnout is not a failure…. it’s a signal that you need support, too.

When you model emotional regulation, you teach your child how to manage overwhelming feelings for life.
Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family.

📍 Ingersoll Wellness Hub
163 Thames Street South
Ingersoll, Ontario N5C 3L8

📞 226-698-7873

02/20/2026

A Therapists' Perspective:

If your teen is rolling their eyes, snapping back, or acting like you’re the problem… it can feel so personal.

It can feel like you’re failing.
Like nothing you do is right.
Like your relationship is slipping away.

But here’s something many parents don’t realize:

Teens often act the worst with the people they feel safest with.

Not because they don’t respect you.
Not because they don’t love you.
But because they’re carrying stress, emotions, pressure, insecurity, and overwhelm — and home is often the one place where it finally spills out.

That doesn’t mean we ignore disrespect.
But it does mean we pause before we take it to heart.

Sometimes the messy room isn’t the real issue.
Sometimes the tone isn’t the real issue.
Sometimes the attitude is just the surface of something deeper happening underneath.

So when you can…
let the small stuff wait.
Choose connection over control.
Choose calm over conflict.
Choose “I’m here” over “fix your attitude.”

Because even when they act like they don’t care…
they still need your steady love more than they know how to say.

And that matters more than a clean bedroom ever will. 💛

Reach out for support for your teens.
Amanda McCooeye, RSW - amanda@ingersollwellness.ca
Miss Jane, RP - Jane@ingersollwellness.ca

02/19/2026

The recent school bus accident has shaken many kids and families in our community. Some children experienced it firsthand, while others are trying to understand it from the outside. Both need our support.

If your child was on the bus, they may feel scared, quiet, emotional, worried and even angry. All these reactions are normal. Let them lead the conversation. Remind them they are safe now, and that you are there whenever they’re ready to talk. Some feelings may show up days or weeks later… that’s okay.
If your child wasn’t on the bus, they may still feel worried, curious, or nervous. Ask what they’ve heard and how they’re feeling. Answer honestly, keep your tone calm, and reassure them that they are safe.

Tips for parents:

• Keep routines as normal as possible ~ routine helps kids feel secure.
• Listen more than you talk. Validate before you reassure.
• Limit exposure to news (social media) or exposure to adult conversations
• Expect bedtime worries ~ many questions surface at night.
• Remind them often: “You’re safe. I’m here. We’ll get through this together.”

Tips for parents: taking care of yourself, too

As you support your kids, it’s important to recognize this may have affected you as well. When something hits close to home, your own reactions matter.

• Acknowledge your own feelings. It’s normal to feel shaken, worried, or emotional.
• Be mindful of your reactions ~ kids take their cues from you. Calm doesn’t mean hiding feelings; it means showing them feelings can be handled.
• Talk to other adults you trust. You don’t have to carry it alone.
• Take breaks from news and social media if it feels overwhelming.
• Keep your own routines where possible ~ structure helps adults regulate, too.
• Give yourself grace. Supporting your child while processing your own feelings is not easy.
This hit close to home for many of us. Staying connected, checking in often, and keeping conversations open helps our kids process what happened and reminds them they’re not alone.

We are here to help. During difficult times, connection and support matter more than ever. If your child, your family, or you yourself are struggling after the recent bus accident, please know you do not have to navigate this alone.
At Ingersoll Wellness Hub, we are here to listen, support, and help our community heal.

📍 Ingersoll Wellness Hub
163 Thames Street South
Ingersoll, Ontario N5C 3L8
📞 226-698-7873

02/16/2026

🌸 The Triple Threat & The Shift to Self-Care Week

​At Machado Psychotherapy, we often talk about the "Triple Threat": the intense intersection of Childhood Trauma, Neurodivergence (ADHD/Autism), and PMDD.

​If you find your ADHD symptoms spiraling or your sensory overload peaking the week before your period, you aren't "failing" at your coping skills. You are navigating a complex biological and emotional crossroads.

​Understanding the Triple Threat:

​The Neurodivergent Brain: When estrogen drops, so does dopamine. For ADHD/AuDHD brains, this makes focus, regulation, and sensory processing much harder.

​The Trauma Connection: A history of trauma can prime the nervous system to perceive these internal hormonal shifts as a threat, triggering a "fight-or-flight" response.

​The Volume K**b: These factors combine to turn the volume up on every challenge, making the world feel "too loud" and emotions feel "too big."

​From Survival to Nurturing 🕊️

​While many call this "Hell Week," we invite you to reclaim it as "Self-Care Week." This is a sacred window for nurturing the internal child who may have felt misunderstood or overwhelmed in the past.

​Instead of fighting your body, we shift into a stance of radical gentleness:

🔸️​Lower the "Expectation Bar": Give yourself permission to do less.

🔸️​Sensory Sanctuary: Honour your sensory needs with soft textures, dimmed lights, and quiet spaces.

🔸️​Internal Validation: Speak to your younger self with the tenderness they deserved: "You are safe, and it’s okay to need extra care right now."

​You aren’t broken. You are a sensitive system responding to a complex history. This week, let’s choose nurturing over "pushing through."

​

02/16/2026

The ADHD "Loading Bar": Why We Repeat Ourselves 🔄

Does anyone else feel like their brain is a scratched CD that just needs one more loop to finally play the song? 💿🌀

When we’re explaining something, or even just processing a new thought, we tend to say the same thing three different ways in thirty seconds. It’s not that we think you aren’t listening; it’s that we’re still listening to ourselves to see if it makes sense yet.

It’s not just talking. It’s auditory processing.

For many of us with ADHD, a thought isn’t “real” until it’s been echoed, refined, and bounced off someone else’s ears. Think of it as the ADHD version of a loading bar on slow internet. ⏳

The Verbal Draft:

🔸️Our first attempt is usually pure word vomit.

🔸️The second is us trying to clean it up.

🔸️By the third, we’ve finally found the point.

The “Click” Factor:
We repeat the thought until we feel that internal click of realization. If it hasn’t clicked, the loop stays open.

External Filing:
Repeating the thought keeps it from disappearing from our glitchy working memory before we can fully “file” it away.

It’s like our mouth is a 3D printer, and it takes a few passes to build the actual concept. 🛠️To our patient friends, partners, and family: thanks for being our sounding boards while we wait for the data to download. We’ll get there eventually, I promise.

02/16/2026

02/16/2026

Competitive sports can be an amazing outlet for teens — building confidence, discipline, friendships, and resilience.

But let’s be honest… it can also be incredibly stressful.

Teens are constantly told to “play as a team,” “support each other,” and “be a good teammate”… yet the reality is that when scouts show up, the atmosphere can shift fast.

Suddenly it’s about:

🏆 who gets noticed
📣 who gets played
⭐ who gets the spotlight
📉 and who feels invisible

And that pressure can mess with confidence, friendships, and mental health — especially for teens who already struggle with feeling like they have to prove their worth.

We need to stop pretending this doesn’t impact them.

Because the truth is… teens don’t just carry the weight of performance — they carry the weight of comparison.

And that’s heavy.

Let’s keep checking in on our young athletes. Not just about how they played… but about how they’re coping. 💛

Amanda McCooeye, RSW - amanda@ingersollwellness.ca
Miss Jane, RP - jane@ingersollwellness.ca

02/14/2026

Ingersoll Wellness Hub