From Land, to C.

03/04/2024

Navigating life after cancer is as much of a struggle as navigating life during cancer.

I am constantly looking for a job replacement after losing my title of active Cancer Mom. It was the most important role of my life, and losing it felt like I lost my purpose. I am a wife, a mother, a rancher... but I struggle with it not being enough. I struggle with accepting that I have to go back to the way life was before a cancer diagnosis, because as much as things have stayed the same, everything has changed.

Thank you for your patience while I work on picking up the pieces.

I hope you enjoy Chapter 7.
Please feel free to share 🧡💛

The next morning, January 31st, I was awake at 4:00am to go into my Mom and Dad's room to help them get the girls ready for their 7:00am flight to Tampa. My parents have a winter home in Zephyrhills, which is thirty minutes from Tampa in a beautiful gated community. Stella was packed, ready and stan...

01/12/2024

That day.

I remember the fear, the sadness, the guilt, the anger, the uncertainty.

I remember the smells, the sounds, the sights, the waves of emotions, the clock. The day time stood still.

That day, the longest day, etched into my memory forever with the utmost permanence. Every detail never to be forgotten.

This day.

I remember the determination, the bravery, the resilience. Every mountain climbed, every fear conquered, every hurdle jumped.

I remember the growth, the acceptance, the perseverance, the drive.

This day, the outcome of three hundred and sixty five days of strength. The new focus. Never forgetting the past, but moving forward with profound optimism for the future.

01/07/2024

Grief is a universal feeling, not reserved for one specific type of loss. It is a reaction to a loss of something you so deeply love, that losing it leaves you numb. Leaves you with a disassociation for life.

I never grieved my life prior to January 10th, 2023. Nine months after that date, when my nine year old son finished his treatment for brain cancer, I never grieved the treatment process. I expected to walk back into my former life, with treatment being just another part of my story. Then I was slapped in the face with anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder. My former life was no more, and life without treatment had become the normal that I lost. Two lives, ripped away from me with nothing to replace the loss.

It wasn’t until I began to properly grieve my losses that I learned to build myself back up. I had to forgive myself for the times along this journey that I blamed myself for my son being sick. I had to find my faith, and ask God for forgiveness for not putting my trust in Him, but instead having feelings of resentment.

Grieving, forgiveness and faith. It has been a good start. A healing start.

I am a work in progress.

- Laura

12/31/2023

Chapter 6 is out now! 🥰

Grab a coffee or tea, it's a long one.

Thank you so much for reading, and please share 🧡

** Warning: This chapter contains pictures of incisions and medical implements ** The next morning, January 13th, I woke up in the ICU and could feel eyes on me. I looked over and Emmett was burning a hole through me, only with less "I will cut you if you look at me the wrong way" in his eyes. He wa...

12/22/2023

Welcome to my new followers, and thank you for joining me on the story of our journey.

Don’t forget to hit those three little dots at the top of my page and select ‘follow’ to receive notifications on new posts!

I have some exciting new collaborations coming in 2024!

Chapter 6 is coming soon 💜

Merry Christmas ❤️🎄

🎗

12/15/2023

Chapter 5 is out now!! 🧡

It has been so incredible to hear from complete strangers all around the world who are influenced by our story. It is because of those of you who share my blog, and I am so grateful for that!

Sending love! xo

*** WARNING: This chapter contains pictures of blood and medical implements *** It was January 12th, and I had slept for a total of two hours (cumulative), before finally deciding to get up and have a shower at 5:00am. My mind and body prioritized watching Emmett breathe over sleeping. On one hand,....

11/28/2023

Chapter 4 🧡

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Disclaimer: This chapter contains colorful language Housekeeping note: Medulloblastoma, pronounced 'mej-u-lo-blastoma' Day 40, January 10th. I was on the road to the hospital with Emmett by 5:30am, in what was likely the worst snow storm I've ever driven in. It took us just over two hours to get fro...

11/21/2023

🧡

11/21/2023

Chapter 3 is out now!

My apologies for the delay - been dealing with some health issues of my own for a change.

Feel free to share!

Happy reading 💛

in·tu·i·tion noun the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. ** The above definition is as per the Oxford Dictionary ** There is a fine line between a "worried" mother, and an "intuitive" mother. Both completely circumstantial. For example - Stella ...

11/14/2023

Chapter 3 - coming to you in three days!

Looking forward to sharing the next part of our story with you 💜