My professional specialization in working with families affected with autism literally found me.
My career started as a licensed high school science teacher working in the public school system and teaching grades 10 through 12. Being a classroom teacher was a joy for me. Connecting with my students and supporting their success was very rewarding.
In the middle of my career I had my first child. By this time I was 36 years old, and had been a perfect parent up until this moment. My career waned as I focused my attention upon being a mom and caring for my precious son. I continued teaching part time but found this to be very difficult as my son refused to sleep. I was like a zombie functioning as I tried hard to work without sleep. Certain behaviours, like shredding all the toilet paper in the house, only eating certain foods, or refusing to be cuddled/consoled were viewed as normal by me. He was my first child. I had never been a mother before and did not know what to expect. Being a mother seemed really difficult and I found myself disheartened and lacking confidence most of the time.
My next son came along when I was 38 years old.
He seemed to be the opposite of his brother, sleeping well, eating various foods and extremely willing to cuddle. By this time, I was slowly gaining a bit of confidence as a mother, but my career as a high school classroom teacher went to the wayside. I was reduced to being a substitute teacher, and took call-outs when I could.
My eldest boy’s grade 3 teacher, Ms. Jaschke, called me one day with some very sensitive news. She was a very experienced teacher and I respected her very much. She gently and carefully shared with me her thoughts that Grayson could be with autism.
This set a ball in motion that has never stopped. She was exactly right! He was tested and given the diagnoses of Pervasive Developmental Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified, also known as PDD-NOS. This is now lumped into the Autism Spectrum Disorder spectrum.
Somehow, I found solace in this diagnosis. My years of feeling like a complete failure as a mother had some merit. It seemed so easy for other mothers and families to navigate having children but for me everything was a struggle, right down to the basics like eating or going outside for a walk. My marriage and my friendships fell apart.
I was so focused upon my eldest boy after his diagnosis that my youngest did not get the attention that he would of normally received. By this time, my marriage was falling apart as a result of difficulty in navigating parenthood with two boys that did not seem easy to raise.
To my utter shock and surprise, my youngest boy started exhibiting signs of autism during my divorce. It was if the stress triggered him into specific behaviours that were augmented as we navigated through this stressful event. I took him to be tested and sure enough he was diagnosed with Autism now too.
Grief stricken, and feeling such loss in all areas of my life, I somehow had to keep going. My career as a teacher was still there but I was unable to truly thrive given my home-life demands. Now what? I could only work part time, so I decided to start my Master’s Degree because I could study from home.
Now completely alone, raising two boys with autism, financially struggling and trying to be the best I can be for my boys, I had to dig deep to find my strength.
Over the course of three years I was able to complete my Master’s Degree in Transpersonal Psychology as well as obtain my diploma as an Expressive Art Therapist & Educator under the supervision and direction of Dr. Natalie Rogers.
I was now equipped to start a new career. I worked hard to obtain my Clinical Registration here in British Columbia in order to work as a Registered Clinical Counsellor.
Today, my boys are ages 12 and 14 and they have taken me on a journey that I never ever thought I would ever take. I am so very thankful for them and where we are at today. Through this journey I discovered through primary research studies, that 91% of couples who have children with autism end up divorced. Part of my mission today, is to support these couples and families through this rough terrain.
As a result of my personal voyage, I now offer specialized classes for parents. In addition, I offer individual and couple’s counselling, through my practice here at Safe & Sound Family Counselling.
I am here serve families and couples, adolescents and children in navigating this life together.
Together we are better.
