07/27/2022
For this “color” it was a little bit different as it wasn’t so much just a color that came up but more just the impression and feel and image of “decay”. The state of where things turn to ashes and have decayed to the point that they are ‘dead and dusted’ pretty much, no more life whatsoever. The topic or the issue I was reading a color on was kind of an ‘emergency point’ for me as in an experience/issue I was really struggling quite terribly with, which was the feeling and experience of being disconnected and separated from my daughter Marie as I have made the decision to go back to work and have been seeing and spending time with her a lot less than I was used to. There have been feelings coming up of even not knowing who she is anymore, feeling alienated, like there is a distance, a disconnect, and a deep sadness with having ‘lost’ the connection and bond I had with her. This sadness seeped into my experience of myself at work where I went into almost a state of depression, not being my usual ‘cheerful’ self, as I felt very affected by what I was busy seeing, perceiving and feeling with regards to my daughter and the entire situation that had changed from how it was.
My first reaction when this color, or rather impression/image came up, was obviously one of shock and fear and even deeper sadness as I thought to myself “omg, I knew it, our relationship is dead. This is horrible. There’s just no solution.” Lol, but then this color actually showed me such a valuable lesson that supported me to snap right out of my depth of despair in a matter of minutes. It wasn’t showing or telling me that “my relationship with my daughter is dead, just as I feared”. It was just here to show me how I tend to have issues with things like ‘death’ and especially when it comes to relationships. When I say issues I mean it always weighs very heavily on my heart when there is ever any sort of ‘break up’ or a moving apart or falling apart or ending of a relationship. Something I’ve always had lots of difficulty dealing with and wrapping my head around is the ‘loss’ of people and relationships in my life, oftentimes experiencing deep emotions of sadness and despair at even the thought of losing someone close to me in any way whatsoever. I’ve clearly been valuing the connection I’ve been having with my daughter quite a lot and now that it’s apparently not there anymore, I’m totally at a loss.
This color was inviting me to embrace and accept things like death and loss, break-ups and things ending and falling apart. These are things that are part of life and they are not bad, negative or wrong, they just need to be accepted rather than judged or resisted. So don’t judge these things you see when you perceive your child to be moving away from you or disconnecting or if you perceive the relationship is changing. Rather learn to let go of the obsession with connection and maybe realize that connection is more about connecting with yourself in terms of common sense and understanding/realizing of what reality and life really is, outside of your feelings/emotional attachments, judgments and perceptions. Connection as being at peace, at ease, calm and knowing that there is nothing of life that is bad or wrong – nothing that needs to be reacted to when it comes to relationships ending, changing, falling apart, people moving away or becoming different. Just live connection on that level where reality is the same for everyone, that’s where you connect to people, that’s your connection and your tether to reality. It’s a connection that holds and prerequisites no feelings or emotions and doesn’t cause you to fall off and into any deep abyss of bottomless emotional loss or upset. What defines reality is not your emotional/feeling relationships but rather the fact that we are all here and are all joined through common sense as the common laws that bind this world and reality together.
Official Post from The Color Readings