04/12/2023
“Healing happens when you’re triggered and you’re able to move through the pain, the pattern, the story and walk your way to a different ending.” ~ Vienna Pharaon
The 4 R's For Processing Difficult Emotions In A Healthy Way
Alllll emotions are normal and vital to life - even the not so fun ones. Emotions are chemical signals that tell us what is going on in our mind. They are created by our thoughts and the meaning we give to what we are focusing our attention on. We respond through our beliefs and perceptions which have been engrained in our subconscious mind from our environment, conditioning (repetition) and emotional traumas over the years.
Emotional awareness is the door to our subconscious (below consciousness) mind where lasting change can happen - since that is the program that we are running off the majority of our lives. By the time we are 35 years old, 90-95% of our thoughts and behaviours are unconscious! Our subconscious mind is primed to look out for our safety and survival, thrives on the familiar (even if it's negative) and is not concerned about our growth and happiness. Change and things that go against our beliefs are a threat to our unconscious mind as it is the unknown, and to it, the unknown is not safe. We need to become more conscious of our thoughts and reactions to override our bodies innate safety system.
It is common to want to numb, avoid or resist emotions that are painful and don't feel good. When we do this, the energy from the emotion gets trapped in the body. The good news is that you can process the emotions in a healthy way! Here is a 4 step process to use the emotion by understanding its message and to let it pass through you instead of storing it.
💖 Recognize - The first step is awareness. Getting more in tune with your emotions by becoming more conscious of what you are feeling and where you are feeling it, creates space that gives you the opportunity to respond rather than unconsciously react.
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❤️ Receive - Acknowledge and accept the emotion - whatever we resist persists. Let it in. Focus on not judging that feeling the best you can. Feel it to heal it. Emotions are a signal or a message - they are trying to tell you something. Put your hand where you are feeling that emotion and sit with it, welcoming it for what it is. This surrendering deactivates that intensity of the energy.
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🧡 Release - Once the emotion has subsided a bit, or you have at least become more conscious of it, find a way to let it out. It could be as simple as shaking the body to release the energy or you could: Do breathwork, meditation, screaming into a pillow, lifting weights, going for a walk in nature, running, laughing, dancing or journalling.
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💛 Reframe - This is a reconditioning step where we get honest with ourselves through reflection then identifying where we can change our perception or behaviour in the future. We have deep seated beliefs within our unconscious mind that need to be reframed if we are going to break free of the thought/emotional patterns that we have been repeating. So, we need to identify what happened, how it made us feel, and how we responded. Then, remind yourself that there are different ways to view and respond to the exact thing that triggered you. This takes work. And it's worth it! At the end, remind yourself you are safe - not just physically, but emotionally too.
