02/28/2026
What does healing look like when you are the one responsible for the loss?
Main characters from The River Is Calling by Wally Lamb and Broken Country by Clare Leslie Hall share something deeply human:
They are grieving losses shaped by their own choices.
Something they did.
Something they didn’t do.
One decision or one hesitation changed everything and everyone involved.
It brings shame, blame, regret, and “if onlys.”
A life that no longer fits the way it used to.
Therapists call this complicated grief — grief that isn’t straightforward.
Grief tangled with responsibility. Grief where the facts cannot be rewritten.
But here’s the harder question:
If your choice contributed to the loss, are you sentenced to shame forever?
And if you’re not… does that mean you simply “heal” and return to who you were before?
No.
And no.
Healing isn’t erasing responsibility.
And accountability isn’t the same as lifelong self-punishment.
In therapy, we don’t rush people back to “normal.”
We create space — space to hold responsibility and self-compassion.
Space where acceptance, resilience, and integrity can grow with grief.
Because sometimes the most courageous work isn’t undoing the past.
It’s learning how to live honestly with it.
What do you think —
Can someone carry responsibility and still deserve peace?
