09/23/2025
Q: "What does dissociation need to heal?"
The 3 needs of dissociation
1. To be seen for what it is, as an adaptive pattern of protection that took roots in times of unsafety, emotional and/or physical, misattunement, pressure and wounding.
Dissociation as an adaptive pattern needs to be a short-term strategy of survival. However, for most of us has become the place we live in.
Make dissociation, feel seen in its wisdom and see what happens.
2. To be heard.
Instead of seeing dissociation as a problem to fix, we can listen to its messages:
“The nervous system feels really overwhelmed and unsafe. Too much pressure"
“There’s too much energy in seeking safety through the mind. You need to invite your body more into your life."
"You've gone too far away from yourself. Time to come home, to your truth."
"You want growth and healing, but not enough resources and energy are present. Ask less, pace, orient to resources."
"You root in identities that no longer serve you."
3. To be felt.
When the dissociation is chronic, you might not want to emphasize feeling in the body right away. Maybe a gentle acknowledgment is enough.
If the dissociation is not so strong, you can explore gentle ways of feeling in the body, equally what feels tense and constricting and what feels a bit more open and soft.
Healing from dissociation is not about forcing yourself to feel more; it’s about creating an inner environment where reconnection is safe.
How can we heal from dissociation if we don't feel the dissociation or what we're dissociated from?
When you feel the dissociation, you should also feel grief, sadness, relief, empowerment or a sense of connection with yourself, even a bit. Not all at once.
When you feel dissociation, there's more safety to feel the pain of having lived disconnected for so long from your needs, truth, body, heart, your pain and yourself.
If this resonates, my Self-Attunement Audio Toolkit offers various guided practices to reverse dissociation in a trauma-safe and nervous system-informed way.
Comment 'Attuned' or visit my profile to get your copy.
Love,
Ally.