Gessica Di Stefano, Ph.D.

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Laval, QC
Gessica Di Stefano, Ph.D.

Psychotherapy services for children, teens and young adults

09/06/2021

The problem is not the roadblock per se.

The problem is accepting to stay stuck there, instead of moving towards something that is less familiar but ultimately more empowering.

We all go through this, and we decide *at our own pace* when it’s time to shift in a different direction ❤️

04/30/2020

This is not a quote nor is it an opinion. It’s a piece of scientific evidence that comes from a large body of research in the field of child development. If you’d like to read a summary of a recent study on the matter, I attached one in the following slides (originally written by the APA). •
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@ Laval, Quebec

08/11/2019

Self-care is not selfish.
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Work by Karen Horneffer-Ginter, Ph.D. & illustration by Paula Hansen
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08/10/2019

Writing isn’t only for writers. When we think of something, that thought gets “polluted” by the many other thoughts that come to mind in that same instant. Therefore, our thoughts generally lose clarity in the process. By writing things down, we allow ourselves to really focus on and observe our true and uninterrupted thoughts. As a result, we can act on these in a more organized manner and with more direction. Is there something you’re trying to make sense of in your life? Is there something you are wanting to get accomplished? Are you wondering how to resolve a problem? Whatever it may be, try writing down your thoughts. You may find that it helps you sort through the chaos and see things more clearly (at least a little) ✍️ 👓 😊

08/02/2019

Whether you are trying to engage your child, a co-worker or a random person you’ve just met, using open-ended questions (see right hand side) can help deepen any interaction, conversation or relationship. This questioning format sounds less like a « yes-no » interrogation and more like a reciprocal dialogue that helps each person feel validated and understood. Happy Friday everyone:) hope you all get the chance to socialize over the weekend 😊 .

07/29/2019

If you want it, go get it 😉.

07/19/2019

“stop being a baby” ... “calm down” ... “it’s no big deal” ... In an invalidating childhood environment, displays of negative emotions are often disregarded, minimized or even punished. If this lack of validation is chronic, it makes it very difficult for the child in question to name and trust her own emotions, thus making it even more challenging for her to respond appropriately to what she’s feeling. As a result, her emotional reactions become increasingly disorganized and erratic, and lead to further invalidation from her environment. And the cycle continues. With no intervention, this pattern follows people into adulthood. It makes it tough for them to nurture and maintain relationships (explosive behavior, mistrust, paranoia), and increases their chances of engaging in dangerous or risky self-soothing strategies (self-harm, drugs, alcohol...) Yes, people who display unstable emotions can be hard to deal with, but try to remember that there is extreme vulnerability underneath their behavior. And while you can’t “fix” it for them, you can support them through it.

07/12/2019

I’m sure you have all heard (or maybe even used) statements like, “you’re so OCD” or “are you bipolar or something?” or “he’s so ADHD”. I hear it all the time, and I cringe. Even kids in schools are using terms like “retarded” and “autistic” to insult each other. I want to scream (and cry) when I hear this, but instead I will use this platform to talk to all of you, and encourage you to talk to your kids: this is wrong and it needs to stop. Mental illness like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder (BP), Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) etc... are real diagnoses that many people face. These can be very debilitating as they interfere with a person’s daily functioning and affect their socio-emotional wellbeing. The names of these disorders are not to be used lightly. That is not OK. We don’t go around saying, “that’s so cancer” or “that’s so diabetes”. This is no different. So...let’s please stop using mental illness as an adjective to describe people or behavior. And don’t be afraid to intervene when someone in your surroundings is using this kind of language. Often, people are not trying to intentionally hurt or disrespect anyone, so a simple and gentle reminder/explanation can go a long way.

07/09/2019

The anxious brain and non-anxious brain actually process information differently. The good news though is that with hard work we can train and rewire our brains to be more like the one on the left 😉 🧠 Source: Tamar E. Chansky, 2004

07/08/2019

“Winning” does not necessarily lead to self-improvement. We don’t need to prove ourselves to others; we need to challenge that competitive tendency and redefine what success means to us more personally. The only way to really win is to stop using other people’s metric to assess our own success. Think of where you started and how far you’ve come, and only then can you truly assess your level of success.

07/04/2019

I’m sharing one of my personal goals today 😊 that is, stop saying “I don’t have time”. For one reason or another, life is busy for most of us. Yet some people seem to juggle it all and others feel desperate and keep complaining about not having enough time. The truth is that when something is very important to us, we make time for it. We just seem to find a way around obstacles and we make it happen. So saying we don’t have time usually means that that specific thing is not a priority for us at the moment, that we are not actually willing to make time for it, or that we don’t know HOW to make time for it ⭐️ Start noticing how you spend the minutes and hours in your day. Maybe you’re spending too much time watching tv or browsing social media. Or maybe you’re not delegating enough and are stuck with too many responsibilities to manage on your own. Or maybe you’re a perfectionist and you’re spending too much time on things, not leaving much energy for other equally important things. Whatever it is, we need to figure out and NAME the obstacles in our way, make a PLAN around these, to then FIT things into the agenda. This does not mean you should never relax and watch tv for instance. It just means that relaxation time can be framed within a specific limit so that you don’t let it affect your motivation and hinder you from achieving other goals and wants.

Address

657 BoUlica Curé-Labelle
Laval, QC

Website

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/therapists/gessica-di-stefano-laval-qc/473541

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