Renée Willis: Freed & On Fire

03/27/2026

Annnd, let’s not assume to know how to make someone safe! Ask them to tell you, ‘you feel most safe when (fill in the blanks). Likewise don’t stop there! Ask them, ‘you feel least safe when (fill in the blanks). 🧠☝️💪👌❤️

Remember all of us have felt love, most of us have not felt healthy love. Let’s be nerds on learning the variables of healthy love for our person.

Warmth, clarity and you!
Renee

03/27/2026

Do yourself a favor and stop assuming. Find out what the facts mean exactly instead of living based on your interpretation. Don’t know? Then ask to know.

03/27/2026

One question to ask self after every conflict is how is the other person feeling and believing right now based on what I said?

03/26/2026

Many of us have abandonment systems yet normalize because frankly, it’s all we have known. 🧠☝️❤️‍🩹

03/26/2026

We need to name the behavior as it is, abuse. 🧠☝️

It feels like closeness in the moment, like being trusted with information that makes you feel chosen, special, and more connected to the parent sharing it than the sibling being discussed. But what is actually happening in that moment has nothing to do with genuine intimacy and everything to do with a dynamic being carefully constructed by an adult who should know better. When a parent pulls one child into their confidence about another child they are not building a relationship, they are building an alliance, and alliances within families require enemies to function. The child being confided in is not being loved more, they are being used as a instrument in a power structure that will eventually cost them something they do not yet have the emotional vocabulary to protect themselves from.

Triangulation poisons sibling relationships from the inside out, creates loyalty conflicts that children carry into adulthood, and teaches the most damaging lesson a family can pass down, that love is conditional, that belonging requires choosing sides, and that the way to stay safe in a family is to stay in favor with the person holding the most power. Children who grow up triangulated often spend decades in therapy untangling relationships they never understood were unhealthy because the dysfunction was introduced so early it simply felt like normal family dynamics. If you grew up in this environment your confusion, your fractured sibling relationships, and your complicated feelings about family are not personal failures. They are the entirely predictable result of emotional abuse that was never given its proper name until now.

03/25/2026

It's so interesting how I hear many people talk about healthy in an unhealthy way! The other day in a kindergarten class, I heard the students sing their poem that they do every morning which was about being happy and when not happy, the goal is to get to happy. And my insides got queezy. I may have used my singing voice to add a few more words like, 'it's okay to be sad tooooo'. I had to because the truth is to be healthy is to be able to feel our emotions and that means our uncomfortable ones too! I mean if an injustice is happening, it is healthy to feel anger; it would be unhealthy to feel happiness. Likewise if someone died, it is appropriate and healthy to feel grief yet constantly we hear messages like, 'they would not want you to be sad, when we are crying in front of them or they say, 'you need to be strong', and 'they are in a better place now'. Why are people uncomfortable with uncomfortable emotions? Well the kids at school tell me what they believe. They believe adults do not want them to cry because they are annoying when they cry. (cringe and unhealthy!) Secondly they say that some adults feel bad when their child cries and want them to stop (which means the adult is making it about them, they are uncomfortable and instead of being uncomfortable they try and make their child stop feeling their needed emotion).

All the struggles we have tend to go back to the home in which we were raised.

Moving forward it's not about being happy all the time though happiness feels great. It's about being a healthy human which means doing our best to create a life worth living and feeling all our emotions without fear, even our fear ones.

Warmth, Clarity and you,
Renee

03/25/2026

Boom Shaka Loka! 👌💪👍☝️🧠😎❤️

Be the kind of person who doesn’t immediately say, “that’s just how I am,” every time something gets called out.

Because if we’re being honest, we’ve all said it at some point when we’re tired, defensive, or not ready to face the parts of ourselves that need changing. It’s easier to label it as personality than to admit it might be a pattern we’ve gotten comfortable with.

But growth doesn’t happen in comfort.

Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can say isn’t a perfect apology or a long explanation. It’s a simple, honest “I will work on that.”

Not because you’re suddenly flawless, but because you’re willing. Willing to listen. Willing to reflect. Willing to become someone better than who you were yesterday.

Because at the end of the day, who you are isn’t fixed.

And the people who truly grow are the ones who don’t use themselves as an excuse.

03/25/2026

Stomach issues? Arthritis? Joint pain, aches in your body? Move your body and collect happy hormones. 🧠

Warmth, clarity and you,
Renee

When you experience genuine joy, your body shifts into a healing state that can actively reduce inflammation: the nervous system moves into “rest and digest” mode, calming the stress-driven “fight or flight” response that fuels chronic inflammation; stress hormones like cortisol decrease while feel-good chemicals such as serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin increase, all of which support anti-inflammatory processes; and research shows that positive emotions are linked to lower levels of inflammatory markers like cytokines (e.g., IL-6).

Simple joyful activities—like laughter, meaningful connection, time in nature, playful movement, and gratitude—can enhance these effects by signaling safety to the body and promoting repair.

While joy is powerful on its own, it works best alongside supportive habits like balanced nutrition, movement, and rest, forming a holistic approach to reducing inflammation and improving overall well-being.

03/25/2026

It’s called creating healthy love and feeling it for the first time. The truth is that most do not. Most end up in a relationship similar to the one they had with their mother or their father. 🧠☝️

Warmth, clarity and you,
Renee

For some children it's a journey from chaos to self created peace.🩶

03/23/2026

Dr. Sara Kuburic

03/22/2026

❤️‍🩹☝️👍👌💪🧠

🤍

03/22/2026

You are in a healthy relationship when your nervous system is calmed being near them.