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The Nurtured Dyad, London, ON (2026)

03/22/2026

Perfectionism often means a state of chronic nervous system activation.

Maybe we had a parent who was overly critical, or we really needed to work to be seen in our relationships.

It can take work, but letting go and learning to slow down, especially in motherhood, can offer so much peace and regulation.

It doesn’t have to be about doing everything “right” - it’s about showing up with intention and presence for our babies and ourselves.

This is going to look different for each mother, parent, and family.

Even when we’ve made a mistake (which we will and that’s okay!!), we can repair, learn and grow. 🌱

Nurture is not one size fits all 🤍.

With compassion,
Steph 🌸

03/21/2026

Postpartum safety state is TOUGH for so many!
We’re bombarded with new and surprising expectations for ourselves and how we care for our baby - it makes sense if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Not to mention everything we bring to our nervous system and our relationships from our past as our new present self.

I’m here to remind you - it’s not your fault. 🤍

Even for the most “regulated”, “got-their-stuff-together” person, it rocks your world. The hormone drop, the permanence of being needed 24/7, the shift in identity - of course you’re struggling to hold it together.

We can work through this slowly but surely to begin to hold space for the resilience in us. Think back to a time where you overcame something really hard? How did you get through it? What helped? What didn’t? Pause here for a moment.

Now, let’s use this reflection to adjust our expectations for what feels realistic and doable for you postpartum 🤍. Maybe it’s getting outside for 5 minutes, or drinking your coffee while it’s still warm.

It’s okay if this feels hard, too. As a self-identifying perfectionist, I really struggled not having everything together or “being good” at being a parent right away. It was really hard to feel “new” at something. The noise and opinions of motherhood cause significant postpartum anxiety and that lingering question of “am I doing enough?” If this resonates with you - I see you! More to come on navigating perfectionism in motherhood in a later post 🤍.

And if resilience and regulation feel really challenging, or symptoms of anxiety, low mood, or other mental health challenges continue on in ways that impact your ability to function on a daily basis - that’s where extra help might come in like a therapist or family doctor/psychiatrist.

Asking for and receiving help are not failures - we weren’t meant to do this alone. And a final reminder - it isn’t your fault if it feels hard, it just is 🤍.

With compassion and connection,
Steph 🤍✨

03/18/2026

In follow up to our post on the mother wound, I wanted to share a simple exercise you may choose to use to begin the reparenting process.

I discovered this exercise in my community mental health days, through a book by Bethany Webster “Discovering the Inner Mother”

I find this especially helpful in moments of reflection after you’ve been activated. Think - you’ve been up all night with your baby and the morning after argued with your partner because they “loaded the dishwasher wrong”.

It’s probably not about dishwasher, right?! (or maybe it is 😜, but let’s explore this anyways!)

Many times we’re activated, it brings us back to a feeling or experience of our inner child and it’s not really our present self responding. Maybe as a child you felt chronically unseen or unheard by your mother, and watching your partner do something different than the way you asked them to, brings up that same feeling of being unheard. So wounded little you yells. What they’re really trying to say is “why don’t you see me???”

So, we can do just that. We can see them and validate that at one point in time this kept us safe.

You might say “hi little ______, of course you feel upset and angry right now, your mother never acknowledged you the way you had hoped when you were a child. Your opinions weren’t considered and that wasn’t right or fair. That must have hurt a lot.”

An important next step is then to differentiate between what happened then for little you, and what is happening now for present you.

You might say “little ______, your anger can be expressed, it’s not something you need to hide. Mom made us feel this way when we were little, that we couldn’t express big emotions - I’m here for you now. Anger is a normal emotion and it’s not too much. You are safe and loved for your authentic self.”

We can then ground ourselves back in the present with a deep breath if it feels safe to do so, or end off with a message of self-compassion such as “I am doing a wonderful job mothering myself and my child - we are so lucky to have each other”

With light and healing,
Steph 🤍✨

03/17/2026

And when we support ourselves to grow our receiving reservoir, we gain more capacity to create the nurturing, responsive and connected environment we want for our babies 🤍

Remember, we can't just think our way out of feeling unsafe to receive - our nervous system doesn't speak that language.

We must SHOW our body it is safe to do so.

In small, tolerable ways, over time.

What is one small way you allowed yourself to receive this week? 🌷

03/14/2026

The Mother Wound - a complex dynamic that becomes even more layered when we become mothers ourselves.

I’m sharing these practices with you today as these are things I used myself that allowed me to rest into my own healing during motherhood while navigating an estranged relationship.

It is so important to acknowledge the parts of us that need extra support as we transition through life phases. Our inner child (and their wounds) almost jump out at us when we become mothers, don’t they?!

It may feel like they’re calling out to the adult version of you like “see me!”, “hear me!”, “care for me!”.

We can acknowledge the grief and longing our younger self is feeling, while resting in the idea of reparenting ourselves the way we wished we had experienced.

Grief and joy can coexist as we reparent ourselves through the nurtured parenting of our own children. We can see glimmers amongst the anger, sadness, and confusion.

It’s so therapeutic to allow our bodies to cycle through all of the emotions we feel, not just the positive ones. Roar through the anger, cry through the sadness, and shout through the confusion. Our bodies cannot rest when emotions are stored and not experienced.

Acceptance isn’t a one way street, it comes with many twists and turns (and a few cliffs or dead ends along the way!) and that gets to be okay.

If you are in a season of motherhood navigating estrangement or loss - I see you 🤍.

With compassion and healing,
Steph 🤍✨

03/13/2026

Pleasure as our portal to nurture 🌸🕊️🌿

Our nurture, towards ourselves and our babies, is strengthened by our pleasure.

How might you invite more pleasure into your day? And what does that feel like to let it land in your body?

Inviting pleasure doesn't have to be a big and extravagant ordeal. It can simply be "being with" that first sip of your morning tea or coffee. Can you notice what that first sip is like through all of your senses? Can you allow yourself to fully be present with that experience? Do you notice resistance to being with it? What does that feel like? Can you meet that part with curiosity instead of judgement? You might invite yourself to be with it just as much as it feels okay to for today.

I'd love to hear what pleasurable moment you are being with today! Let me know in the comments 🫶🏻

With heart,
Hayley xx

03/11/2026

Caring for your child at any stage can be activating to the wounds of our inner child. It can be particularly activating when our child reaches an age where we, ourselves, may have experienced some adversity.

While we can’t change the past - what we can do is notice and listen to our body about what is coming up for us in these moments.

We invite you to acknowledge the parts of your inner child that have been wounded (more to come on the mother wound!) and thank them for doing what they needed to keep you safe.

We also invite you to reflect on an age of yours in childhood in which you feel you have access to and one in which there are qualities that you ADMIRE.

Then consider what that quality or qualities are/is and how it feels in your body to feel those qualities. For example: care free, outgoing, rebellious, assertive, open, bubbliness.

Now with those qualities in mind - how might you be able to borrow some of that energy within that quality?

And finally, how might you be able to thank this little part of you holding that beautiful quality? For embodying that incredible piece? And for lending it to you today?

Connecting with our inner child doesn’t always have to be about repair, trauma and triggering moments. It can also be about connecting with the pieces we love, admire and want access to again - helping us reconnect with our truth and our joy.

Happy healing!

Steph & Hayley, xx 🤍

03/10/2026

3 SOMATIC PRACTICES FOR ANGER ⬇️❤️

Most mothers weren’t taught how to feel anger safely.

We were taught to: suppress it, shame it or ignore it.

But from a Somatic Experiencing(SE) perspective, anger is a mobilizing protective response in the nervous system.

It’s the energy that says "something isn’t okay", "a boundary was crossed" or "something needs to change."

The goal isn’t to eliminate anger.
The goal is to build a relationship and the capacity to hold it.

That can look like:
- noticing anger’s early signals in the body (heat, clenched muscles like the fists, shoulders or jaw, rising energy, narrowing vision)
- allowing the activation in small, manageable amounts
- staying present with the protective energy
- letting the body move that energy in safe ways

3 SOMATIC practices to try the next time you feel anger rising and needing an outlet:

Stomping around the house
Wall pushes
Twisting a towel in your hands
Or embracing the animal in you and letting out a "Grrrrrrr"

Over time, anger stops feeling like something that controls you.

It becomes information.

And when you learn to stay in relationship with your anger instead of suppressing it…your child learns something powerful too.

They learn that big emotions aren’t dangerous.
They learn that protective feelings have wisdom.
They learn that emotions can move through the body without hurting themselves or others.

Children don’t just learn emotional regulation from what we say.

They learn it from what we embody 🤎

03/06/2026

A thread about why we love your fight response ❤️‍🔥

Unlike fight/flight or freeze, fawning (or people pleasing) is a survival strategy often rewarded as a socially acceptable behaviour.

Many of us have been socialized to fawn with the belief that it is what being a "good" or "nice" person is.

To reflexively appease and please others means you are a polite, well mannered individual who cares about other people's comfort - right?

This is actually what fawning is mistaken for when it really is a strategy rooted in survival.

The idea that if I make myself as small and least disruptive as possible - I will be safe, I will be loved, I will be okay.

This is a threat response I know well as a "recovering" people pleaser.

I'm very familiar with the gut twisting, heavy and constricting feeling in my body, as I attempt to hold a boundary and/or another's (real or assumed) disappointment- all while from the outside still performing, still ensuring they perceive me as I want them to.

And my capacity to be with that discomfort received another challenge to level up the moment I became a mother.

It was no longer just me that my preoccupation with others needs, feelings and desires impacted.

Having guests over when I was exhausted left me with less for my family later.
Worrying about how I was being perceived pulled me out of relationship with my daughter.
Avoiding someone else’s disappointment meant overriding my instincts as a mother.

When we are trying to keep everyone happy, we can’t actually show up fully in our nurturance anywhere.

But when we develop a relationship with our fight response — the instinct to protect, to hold a boundary, to say no — something shifts.

We are able to express and maintain boundaries.
Ask for what we need.
Stay in alignment with our truth.

Boundaries are the container.
They are protective.
They create safety.

Your nurturing presence relies on them.
Your capacity to stay connected, attuned, and present relies on them.

Which is why a mother’s fight response doesn’t threaten her nurturing.

It strengthens it ❤️‍🔥

With love,
Hayley xx

03/04/2026

While it may not be our fault that the conditions surrounding modern mothering are the way they are, it is our responsibility to make the changes that support us in leading more regulated, sustainable lives.

What if, instead of shaming the signal your body is sending you, you used it as fuel for change?
What if the tension in your chest, the irritability, the overwhelm, the exhaustion — what if those weren’t signs of failure, but invitations?

How might we step into a more empowered place — using the mobilizing energy within us to create change — rather than collapsing into helplessness in the face of it?

It takes effort - small intentional steps, not big moves.
It takes a willingness to invite a pause instead of reacting.
It takes compassion and grace for ourselves 🤍

A choice to speak up rather than allow something to continue just to avoid rocking the boat.
A choice to honor our limits instead of overriding them.
A choice to invite slowness, rest, sunlight, nourishment, less caffeine, and meaningful connection into our days.

It may not be convenient. It may not be comfortable. And it may require disappointing others before it starts to feel natural.

But regulation is not something that happens to us. It is something we cultivate — through small, repeated choices that communicate safety to our bodies.

Your nervous system is not the enemy. It is information.
And when you learn to listen to it with compassion instead of criticism, it becomes one of your greatest guides.

Change doesn’t require perfection.
It requires participation.

And you are deserving of that 🤍🤍

The Nurtured Dyad

03/22/2026

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