FERN-Family Education Resource Network

04/27/2026

Blue knows…nothing better than napping in the sunshine💙 See everyone on Wednesday!

04/24/2026

We agree! A framework that has supported many is Dr. Stuart Shanker's Self-Reg™ The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd. Dr. Shanker teaches that resilience is a state, not a trait. It’s not something a child either has or doesn’t have. Resilience shows up when the conditions are right, when the stress load is manageable, when the nervous system has enough capacity, and when the environment feels safe enough.

You don’t build resilience by raising the stakes. You build it by reducing what’s in the way.

What looks like 'avoidance' or 'refusal to attend' from the outside is often something very different on the inside. Exhaustion. Fear. A body that has learned, through real experience, that certain environments aren’t okay. You can’t grade that away. You can’t incentivize a nervous system out of a stress response.

What we have seen work is this: get curious before you get corrective. Try to understand what’s going on for this student before deciding what should be done about it. Reduce the load before increasing the demand. Build the relationship before building the expectation.

The Self-Reg™ framework offers a path forward; it's a community rooted in understanding and science. It is for everyone: parents, educators, therapists. This framework helps us address stressors. Visit their online learning platform here: https://self-reg.ca/

Reacting to student challenges and barriers to education will not produce meaningful results.
Understanding the challenges, barriers, and needs of students and providing school-wide, tiered strategies to support students will. #

04/23/2026

A super graphic from The MEHRIT Centre, Ltd.

Let's think about other swaps:

A scenario we hear all the time on a Monday morning after a super weekend!

➡️"I'm not going to school today, I want to stay with you instead, I have a tummy ache!"

Instead of saying 'You'll be fine, I'll see you after school, let's go!' try saying:

➡️"Oh no, that tummy pain again. It's really hurting you. It seems to hurt when you're worried you'll miss me. That makes sense."

✨A few thoughts: physical symptoms are common for children; they feel emotions in their body (we all do!). If this is common before school, bedtime or higher stress events, maybe consider that intense emotions are contributing to the symptoms. Children who report pain most often feel pain. Pain is complex and often worsens with stress and is as real as a cut. The child may be highly motivated to go to school, or an activity, but the worry and related tummy ache are so strong that it makes the child look 'stubborn' or 'unwilling.'

✨Possible Emotion Translations like "I'm worried I'll feel overwhelmed with missing you!" are important. This is Emotion-Focused work.

✨Be in touch to learn more or work with us.

When stress is high, words matter. Consider saying this instead of that—and notice how connection often comes before calm. 💙 What other swaps would you add?

⚡This post was made possible by your support. Check out more cool stuff at www.self-reg.ca or sign up for our newsletter here: https://self-reg.us11.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=c52a5f4a89ff8632f0cfd7d72&id=33b75d66b7 ⚡

04/22/2026

Hey friends- can you join us at FERN? Wed April 29th RSVP and let us know any dinner ideas!!

04/22/2026

YES applicable to parenting! There’s a tension many parents I work with feel every day:

If I don’t stay in charge, everything will fall apart.

And yet… for many of our children & teens, especially those with a PDA profile or on the autism spectrum, that feeling of “being controlled” is exactly what pushes their stress higher.

This is where this reframe matters.

Power isn’t something we have to hold tightly.
In fact, the tighter we hold it, the more resistance we often see.

Through a Self-Reg lens (Stuart Shanker), we start to ask a different question:

What’s driving the behaviour? What’s the stress underneath?

For many children, autonomy isn’t a “want”, it’s a nervous system need.

So “giving power” might look like:
-offering real choices (not forced ones)
-reducing demands when stress is high
-noticing when control battles are actually stress battles

This doesn’t mean no boundaries.
It means prioritizing differently.

Because when stress goes down, capacity in children & parents goes up 💞

Laura Cesaroni, PhD RP

For generations, adult–child relationships were built on power ✨over✨.

Even as we’ve given kids more voice and rights, the old self-control mindset still linger, telling us we need to stay in charge at all costs.

This graphic by educator Kristin Wiens offers a wiser reframe: ✨ Power doesn’t have to be a threat.✨ It can be something we give, through understanding, safety, and stress awareness!

03/26/2026

Adding punishment to stress? That’s a recipe for more chaos, not learning. 🧨

Dr. Stuart Shanker & Co. emphasizes: punishing stress only escalates it; co-regulation is what actually works. Learn more at our ✨ 12TH ANNUAL SELF-REG SUMMER SYMPOSIUM✨: https://self-reg.ca/srss/

03/24/2026

Meet James, a long standing member of the FERN community. We are so thankful to have James in our programs, and he is very excited to share his story! If you would like to read his newsletter, visit our website. Link in bio.

03/24/2026

Meet James, a long standing member of the FERN community. James is very excited for the community to know his story! We are so thankful to have James in our programs and wish him all the best. If you would like to read James' newsletter, visit our website using the link in our bio.

03/10/2026

We would like to congratulate our youth Dean .deve on passing his G1 driving test. We are so proud of you Dean! You deserve this!

02/14/2026

Great win for the Seattle Seahawks who bet the New England Patriots for the Superbowl championship last week! Bad Bunny and Lady Gaga had an awesome performance for the halftime show also! What a great show that was!

02/10/2026

The Canadian Centre for Caregiving Excellence is collaborating with the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to offer a six week mindfulness program, designed to learn and practice mindfulness skills, and to reduce stress for family caregivers, including those who provide care to people with disabilities, those who are aging, or those who are experiencing a challenging illness. Sue Hutton, a mindfulness teacher with over 30 years of experience in this field will lead this program. Throughout the webinars, you will receive:

- Links to mindfulness practice for family caregivers

- Digital workbooks, literature and support materials

- Weekly emails with reminders for home practice.

Registration is required. If you are interested in joining these webinars or learn more about the program, use this link:
https://canadiancaregiving.org/events/mindfulness-for-caregivers/

02/07/2026

We would like to congratulate our youth Maya .malyuk on her acceptance into George Brown College. We are so proud of you Maya! So excited for you to start this new journey!