04/04/2026
CAUTION: Get out your beverage of choice, this is a long post. 😊
It's been my experience that during embodiment practices or somatic therapy, PAUSING is the one most important skill to develop. Pausing long enough to notice. Noticing what other messages might the body be offering besides the busyness of the storytelling mind. Pausing that narrative long enough to quiet the mind while shifting the focus on breath, belly, sensations, mood, contact points with any surface, etc. In doing so, creating time and space for the nervous system to reorganize. "Simple yet complex." I often remind my clients. This IS a journey, no debate. Inevitably, at some point clarity is gained (a ventral vagal state) and within this state something becomes revealed. Perhaps....at this point the narrative begins to change.
Below is a testimonial of one such moment. As a practitioner, to witness this transformation is quite rewarding.
"Last night in somatic class, we explored self-compassion, and something so simple yet so revealing kept meeting me.
Each time I tried to speak of compassion toward myself, a “but” followed close behind.
I can be gentle with myself, but…
I understand why I responded that way, but…
I know I am trying, but…
And I found myself sitting with that little word.
How often do I offer myself kindness only with conditions attached?
How often is my compassion for myself softened, qualified, or earned rather than freely given?
It made me wonder if true self-compassion can exist where there is still a quiet argument happening inside.
If I am still defending, explaining, proving, or justifying my humanity, am I really resting in compassion?
Maybe self-compassion is much simpler than I make it.
Maybe it does not ask for a performance.
Maybe it does not need me to be better, clearer, more healed, or more certain before it arrives.
Maybe it simply says,
yes, even here.
yes, even now.
yes, even with this.
The other piece we explored was the choice to turn toward what is favorable.
Not to deny what was painful.
Not to pretend the harder moments did not happen.
Not to bypass what was real.
But to remember that I do have some choice in where I rest my attention.
I do not have to keep rehearsing the hurt.
I do not have to keep making a home in the place that wounded me.
I can acknowledge what was difficult, what was tender, what was unfavorable… and still choose to notice what is soft, kind, steady, beautiful, or life-giving.
This feels important.
Because choosing the favorable is not the same as pretending.
It is not dishonouring the truth of what happened.
It is simply allowing the truth to be larger than the pain.
It is letting warmth matter too.
Letting beauty matter too.
Letting one good breath, one kind moment, one safe experience also count.
Perhaps this is part of self-compassion too.
To stop placing a “but” after every kindness.
To stop making tenderness toward myself something I must earn.
To stop returning again and again only to what hurt, as though suffering is the only thing that proves something mattered.
Today I am left with a quieter understanding.
That self-compassion may be less about fixing and more about allowing.
Less about perfection and more about presence.
Less about denying the hard and more about gently choosing where I place my energy once the hard has passed through.
And maybe that is enough for now.
Just noticing.
Just softening.
Just practicing a little less condition, and a little more grace."
