Open Skies Coaching & Counselling Associates

Open Skies Coaching & Counselling Associates Colleen Doerksen (she/her) Masters level, retired School Psychologist. Confidential, fee-for-service for anxiety, trauma, depression, & life issues.

Client centered, strength & evidence based therapy with ages 6 &up. Accepting of all genders and cultures.

02/19/2026
02/19/2026

So often we as parents are frustrated by our child’s behaviour. The tantrums, wanting the same coloured cup, and generally being overly emotional can just be so infuriating. But if we stop and think, don't we struggle managing our emotions? All of these behaviours are exactly what our children should be doing for their development. When we understand the basics of child brain development and have some insight into why our children are behaving this way, it can make a huge difference in how we see our children. We no longer see our children as being “naughty” or trying to deliberately drive us crazy, but that they are doing the best with what they have. Also if we help them calm and work through what has upset them, then we are actually supporting positive brain development.

More information in my book

Guidance from The Therapist Parent

Available on my website www.thetherapistparent.com and Amazon

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/why-parents-need-to-understand-brain-development

Link in bio

02/18/2026

Leave it alone!
Protect your hard earned peace!
❤️💪✌️

02/18/2026

Why is silence so terrifying? Because when the noise stops, the feelings start. We stay busy not to be productive, but to remain numb. Chronic rushing is just self-medication. The bravest thing you can do is stop moving and meet yourself.

02/18/2026

As a physician, I can tell you: Acute stress builds resilience. Chronic stress builds disease. Choose the scary path. It’s actually safer.

02/18/2026

Emotionally hungry children often grow into adults who love in ways that feel “too much” even when they don’t want to.

When you grow up craving emotional presence, your system becomes trained to grab tightly onto any moment that feels warm, safe, or intimate, even if it’s fleeting.

-A single vulnerable exchange can feel like a bond.
-A small gesture can feel like a promise.
-A shift in someone’s energy can feel like a threat.

You read deeply into things most people overlook because you were conditioned to survive on very little.

When emotional nourishment was inconsistent, your brain learned to amplify anything that resembled connection.

These are coping mechanisms that were once necessary, just no longer accurate for the life you’re trying to build now.

You are not broken for loving the way you learned to survive. You are simply overdue for the kind of nourishment you should have always received.

Keep shining,
Dr. L ✨

02/17/2026

4 Ways to Make Peace with Overwhelming Emotions https://buff.ly/ANijFxQ

It’s Monday… and for many people, that means Monday blues. 😔

Overwhelming emotions can feel like waves that might sweep you away. But here’s the truth. Emotions are temporary, and you can learn to make peace with them instead of fighting them. One powerful mindfulness tool is the RAIN practice:
• Recognize what you’re feeling
• Allow it to be there
• Investigate it with curiosity
• Nurture yourself with self-compassion

When you turn toward your emotions with mindfulness instead of running from them, something surprising happens. They begin to teach you, calm down, and lose their grip.

You don’t have to fear your emotions. You can learn from them. You can grow through them. And you can find peace, even on a Monday. 🧠💙

02/17/2026

Your body remembers more than your mind admits. Scientists have found that trauma can leave a deep imprint in the nervous system, causing the body to react every year around the same date when the original event occurred. This automatic response can trigger anxiety, depression, fatigue, physical pain, or sudden emotional flooding without you realizing why.

Researchers explain that the brain stores traumatic memories differently from normal ones. Instead of being filed away in logical areas, they stay connected to the amygdala, the part responsible for fear and survival. When the anniversary date approaches, the brain senses familiar internal cues like temperature, light, seasonal changes, or even subtle emotional patterns, reactivating old stress pathways.

The body follows the brain’s lead. Stress hormones rise, muscles tighten, sleep becomes lighter, and mood stability drops. This is known as an “anniversary reaction,” and it can happen even when the conscious mind has forgotten the date or tried to move on.

The hopeful part is that these reactions can be softened and reversed. Mindfulness, grounding exercises, therapy, journaling, and breathing techniques help retrain the nervous system. Understanding the pattern alone often reduces the fear it creates. When the body learns new responses, the brain rewires old trauma loops through neuroplasticity.

This insight is a reminder that trauma is not weakness, it is the body trying to protect you. With awareness and care, those anniversary triggers can lose their power, allowing healing to grow year after year.

02/17/2026

If I could only focus on 5 brain-based habits to get myself to do difficult things, it would be these:
1. Write an “If–Then” plan Motivation is unreliable, but triggers are steady. When you pre-decide exactly when and where you will act, you stop "thinking" and start reacting. This lowers the brain's mental load. How to do it: Write one sentence: “If it is 7:00 AM and I am in the kitchen, then I will put on my gym shoes.” No "vibes" required—just a simple trigger and response.

2. Lower the "start friction" Your brain resists starting much more than it resists doing. The first 60 seconds are the hardest because they require the most effort from your "manager" brain. How to do it: Create a "start line" that is purely mechanical. Don't worry about the whole workout; just focus on stepping onto the mat. The goal isn't to make progress—it’s just to cross that line.

3. Design an environment that removes choice Willpower is like a battery that runs out. Your brain will always pick the easiest option when you’re tired. If you make the "good" choice the easiest path, you win without even trying. How to do it: Put your exercise gear where you’ll trip over it, or charge your phone in another room. This is about being smart with your space, not having more "discipline."

4. Use a "commitment device" Our brains naturally care more about "right now" than "the future." A commitment device makes quitting feel bad immediately, which helps you stay on track for your long-term goals. How to do it: Prepay for a class or set a workout date with a friend. When there is a "penalty" for skipping (like losing money or letting a friend down), you're much more likely to show up.

5. Name the resistance out loud When a task feels scary or hard, your brain might treat it like a "threat" and try to run away. Labeling that feeling helps your logical brain take back control from your emotional brain. How to do it: Spend 10 seconds saying, "I’m feeling dread right now. This is just discomfort, not danger." Don't try to make the feeling go away—just label it and take one tiny step anyway.

Why these five matter These habits don't rely on being "inspired." They target how your brain actually works: how it responds to cues, how it handles effort, and how it reacts to fear. By using these tricks, you can get things done consistently without a massive willpower struggle.

Your brain is allowed to complain. It’s just not allowed to drive.

02/17/2026

Being cheated on can have significant psychological and physical consequences. Research indicates that infidelity often triggers long-term anxiety, as individuals may struggle with feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, and emotional instability. This emotional distress can also lead to insomnia, as the mind remains preoccupied with the trauma, disrupting sleep patterns. Additionally, the stress and emotional toll of being cheated on have been linked to chronic pain, as heightened stress can manifest physically, exacerbating conditions like headaches, back pain, and muscle tension. In some cases, the experience may even result in symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), where the individual experiences flashbacks, hypervigilance, and emotional numbness long after the infidelity occurs, according to PubMed.

02/17/2026

Shame is a hallmark of CPTSD. It whispers lies: “You’re broken. You’re too much. You’ll never be enough.”
In trauma recovery, reclaiming your story begins by rejecting the shame and labels that were never yours to carry.
You are not “too sensitive.” You are deeply attuned.
You are not “too emotional.” You are human.
You are not "broken." You've been injured.
Learn more about your symptoms and paths to recovery with the PTSD recovery book series: 👉 https://bit.ly/WomensGuidePTSD

02/17/2026

Some skills look ordinary in childhood yet become the backbone of confidence in adulthood.

A Harvard longitudinal study found that children who regularly helped at home grew into adults with stronger careers, healthier relationships, and greater life satisfaction. The reason is simple. Daily responsibilities teach kids how to manage frustration, follow through, solve problems, and contribute to something bigger than themselves. Chores are not about perfection. They are about building a sense of capability. When a child sees that their actions matter, their brain strengthens pathways linked to motivation, resilience, and emotional regulation. These are the same skills that help adults navigate work, friendships, and family life.

Parents sometimes worry that chores add stress, but when introduced gently they do the opposite. They give children structure and a predictable role inside the family. Kids feel valued, trusted, and included. Small tasks like setting the table, feeding a pet, or folding towels quietly become lifelong strengths. A few minutes of daily responsibility can shape a lifetime of competence.

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