Securely Thriving

11/27/2025

There is truth to these words.

The question is, born into modern society, how do we adapt?

The right relational support, empowers us to recognize our gifts, integrate our capacities, and discover the delivery pathways that play to our strengths and put us in mutually beneficial relationship with our environment.

All we need is the right context and support to be able to give and receive in equal measure.

This grace filled expression of mutual reciprocity is the ideal we strive for. It is a thing of beauty when it exists - and a tragedy when it does not.

The greatest gift we give to each other - as mentors, as therapists, as parents, as caring, attentive human beings is to guide one another towards this blossoming.

This is my devotion and my craft, but it happens in subtle ways in all kinds of contexts. Blessings to those who give the gift of mentorship, and to those open enough to receive it.

If you are seeking support along your path, it would be an honour to walk alongside you.

Reach out with a dm, or book a call via the link in the comments below.

11/21/2025

A common misconception is people think a regulated nervous system means: calm, zen, peaceful, never stressed.

But from a polyvagal perspective? That's not regulation. That's one state.
A regulated nervous system is a FLEXIBLE one.

It can:
✨Activate when you need energy or focus (sympathetic)
✨Settle when it's time to rest (parasympathetic)
✨Connect when you feel safe (ventral vagal)
✨Protect when there's a threat (fight, flight, freeze)

And most importantly: it can MOVE between these states fluidly.🌀

Here's what this means for you:
❌ Don't judge yourself for not being calm all the time
✅ Celebrate when you can activate AND settle back down

❌ Don't think stress = dysregulation
✅ Dysregulation = getting STUCK in a state (can't come back down, can't access energy, can't feel safe)

❌ Don't aim for flatline calm
✅ Aim for nervous system flexibility, the ability to respond and recover

💥Stop aiming for constant calm. Start building nervous system flexibility.💥

11/21/2025

This, bang on.

A common misconception is people think a regulated nervous system means: calm, zen, peaceful, never stressed.

But from a polyvagal perspective? That's not regulation. That's one state.
A regulated nervous system is a FLEXIBLE one.

It can:
✨Activate when you need energy or focus (sympathetic)
✨Settle when it's time to rest (parasympathetic)
✨Connect when you feel safe (ventral vagal)
✨Protect when there's a threat (fight, flight, freeze)

And most importantly: it can MOVE between these states fluidly.🌀

Here's what this means for you:
❌ Don't judge yourself for not being calm all the time
✅ Celebrate when you can activate AND settle back down

❌ Don't think stress = dysregulation
✅ Dysregulation = getting STUCK in a state (can't come back down, can't access energy, can't feel safe)

❌ Don't aim for flatline calm
✅ Aim for nervous system flexibility, the ability to respond and recover

💥Stop aiming for constant calm. Start building nervous system flexibility.💥

10/31/2025

At this time of year, when the veil thins and many traditions pause to honor those who've crossed the threshold, I'm reminded: we're not just individuals struggling alone.

We're part of a lineage, carrying patterns from generations back.

Your restlessness, your freeze response, your difficulty with planning or follow-through—these might not be personal failures.

They might be nervous system adaptations your ancestors needed to survive their particular contexts: war, displacement, loss, survival mode.

This season invites us to consider our ancestors not with blame, but with curiosity: What were you carrying? What shaped you? What couldn't you quite heal before passing it on?

When we understand this, everything changes. We stop asking 'what's wrong with me?' and start asking 'what happened to us?'

This is the work I do with families navigating ADHD and individuals exploring their own relational/developmental history—understanding that what looks like an individual disorder is often an intergenerational adaptation.

More in my upcoming article: 'Why ADHD Runs in Families (And It's Not Just Genetics): Exploring the Social Element of ADHD'

🕯️ Who are you honoring this season? What patterns might you be carrying from them?

10/14/2025

Rhythm & Play: The Foundation ADHD Kids Need

ADHD brains crave novelty while also feeling overwhelmed by unpredictability.

Rhythm creates safety. Predictable patterns—morning routines, transition cues, bedtime rituals—help the nervous system feel: "I know what's coming next."

Play builds connection. Shared laughter, imagination, and even silliness become bridges back to connection after stress.

Try this:
- Anchor one stressful task in something soothing (music while getting dressed, snack during homework)
- Let play be 5 minutes—no elaborate setup needed
- Reclaim one daily task as a shared ritual

Rhythm and play aren't extras. They're the medium through which safety and growth flourish.

(These principles also support any child with a sensitive nervous system or big emotions.)

Want personalized support for your family? I'm currently taking 1:1 clients. Link in bio for a free consultation.

10/07/2025

Children (and all of us!) with ADHD (and without) often experience intense emotions, big reactions, and rapid mood shifts—not because they aren't trying, but because their regulation skills are still developing.

What is often labeled as "bad behaviour" is actually a signal of nervous system overload.

Your child doesn't need fixing. They need support in returning to regulation.

In Week 3 of Thriving Together, we'll explore:
- How your calm helps your child regulate (and why that's easier said than done)
- Our own regulation patterns and what dysregulation looks like
- Practical tools for coming back to balance

You'll leave with nervous system insights, increased self-awareness, and practices to apply right away.

Series starts October 9 (this Thursday!)

Link in bio. Financial barrier-free. Childcare provided.