Parul Shah

12/03/2025

It’s .

As many see the handicap sign on their vehicle visor or on the dashboard, it is an automatic persona, that the person driving or someone in the vehicle has a physical disability.

Mental and moral injuries are an invisible injury. It can feel as debilitating or more than a physical disability. The scars are deep. Real deep.

So did you know, that anyone who was diagnosed with PTSD/CPTSD are eligible to apply for a handicap sign?!

Many are not aware, that going place to place can carry so many heighten senses that our mental injury can show up as physical symptoms.

Unable to walk.

Feeling weak.

Hyperviligant.
Hyper aware
Hypersensitive

The shakes.

Handicap signs are not sharing you are incapable.

Handicap signs are embracing that normalcy no longer exists ( or realizing it never existed for anyone) , and knowing you are taking care of yourself by understanding your own capacity and limits.

Keeping those spoons ( spoon theory) and within your window of tolerance allows you to feel human again.

So if ever anyone questions your handicap sign, ask them what made them feel uncomfortable about it. It un-shames the conversation.

12/03/2025

Let’s talk.

After the trauma & into our recovery spaces, we are educated on : awareness, signs, symptoms, what caused our responses & reaction, how to overcome, how to fill/refill your bucket, tools, boundaries , care team etc.

We earned this pseudo degree in survival. We know now, that we were in survival mode during the trauma. And when we find safe spaces, we unpack. And we then realize “ wow I had no idea” to “ I know what to look for even before it reaches to an unsafe space”

Even when it may not feel like much, be proud of yourself you took the steps to understand your survival mode.

Give yourself grace, you not only survived, you thrived in your healing, even when you may have believed you never deserved to heal through.

Knowledge is power!, as Lived experience is evidence.

You are enough!

Hope. Compassion. Healing.
Support. Strength. Thrive

12/02/2025

Let’s talk.

Wounds are automatically associated towards the concept of physical wounds.

We often dismiss that the wounds can expand to the psyche and emotions. The most damaging of them all.

When the trauma continues , we truly believe that we are bad humans to have continued to be abused in any way.
Yet, in reality, we thought we needed to earn care, compassion and love.

It’s is a human right to feel as much as is it be adored, seen, heard, loved and valued. This is basic needs, for every human.

12/02/2025

💙💙💙

EVERY OTTAWA PARAMEDIC WHO TOOK SURVEY REPORTS FACING VIOLENCE ON THE JOB

An audit into the Ottawa Paramedic Service has found paramedics face widespread violence but few report it, in part due to concerns that it won’t be taken seriously.

The office of city Auditor General Nathalie Gougeon administered a survey to Ottawa paramedics and found that every one of those who responded had experienced violence while on the job.

Thirty-seven per cent said they face violence or threats of violence while on duty on a monthly basis, while 21 per cent said it happens weekly.

Her office sent the survey to more than 450 active paramedics this June and got 128 responses. It also conducted follow-up interviews.

Gougeon said the violence "runs the gamut" and could range from threats to spitting to hitting. Ottawa paramedic Chief Pierre Poirier said those are "absolutely regular occurrences."

"There are more significant incidents where people have been hit significantly and injured," he said.

The survey found that 82 per cent of respondents said they had experienced violence they did not report.

The paramedics gave multiple reasons for failing to report violence, with some saying it’s simply seen as part of the job. Others said the violence was verbal or minor and they didn’t consider reporting necessary.

Yet others cited a different reason, telling Gougeon’s office that "there is no visible action from the service once reported."

"Paramedics feel like the reports do not go anywhere and there is no obvious outcome, including a perceived lack of action from the Ottawa Police Service," her report said.

Gougeon’s audit said expectations for reporting violence are not always clear. She found the follow-up procedures are time-consuming and cumbersome, and her report noted a backlog of incidents.

Julia Weber, an audit principal who presented the document on Friday, told council's audit committee that those issues could dampen employee morale and create legal risks for the city.

Bay ward Coun. Theresa Kavanagh, a member of the committee, called the findings "very disturbing."

"I think we’re all shocked when we hear about violence against someone who’s trying to help someone," she said.

The report recommended that the service revisit and clarify expectations about violence, while leaders should formally commit to actions paramedics can expect.

Ottawa Paramedic Service management accepted that recommendation. During the audit committee meeting, Poirier called violence against paramedics "a significant problem" that isn’t limited to Ottawa.

"We’re developing processes internally to document first, to escalate and to involve police services," he said. "It’s not OK and it’s not part of the job."

He said some of the people lashing out at paramedics may be homeless or face other precarious conditions.

He later told media that the cultural barriers to reporting are longstanding and go back to when he was on the road providing care.

"My belief was it's part of the job, and that's unfortunate, but the level of violence and the occurrence was not what it is today," he said.

"So I think there's this cultural piece that we're trying to change."

Gougeon’s report found still other gaps at the Ottawa Paramedic Service, especially around how it is managing controlled substances.

Paramedics are authorized to carry and administer controlled drugs, a category that includes narcotics such as opioid medications. Poirier told audit committee members that can include morphine and fentanyl.

But the report found a lack of oversight, missing documentation and poor access controls.

"Overall, these gaps collectively increase the risk of theft, misuse, reputation harm and non-compliance with provincial and internal requirements," Weber said.

The service is required to conduct monthly audits and reviews about the use of controlled substances. According to Gougeon’s report, that isn’t happening. She also found multiple gaps in documentation in patient care records when controlled substances were used.

She found weak inventory management, including for expired drugs, and said oversight in some areas is limited.

Finally, the report found that staff members on leave still had access to the substances, as did personnel that weren’t involved with the management or administration of the drugs.

Management accepted her recommendation to review and update policies.

Poirier noted that, despite the gaps reported in the audit, it didn’t point to any actual incident of misuse or loss. Gougeon confirmed that to media on Friday.

"Our processes are in place, they’re working, but we could do better," Poirier said.

12/01/2025

Let’s talk.

Let’s be real for a moment.

At one time or another all of us have been gossiped, rumoured about.

Some of us have been through the wash, over and over again.

The narrative that is already out there about us, already shaped us. Even ultimately changed how we see the world.

Yet, when we finally say no more, the truest challenge is reshaping the story that was told without our consent, or permission, or input.

That’s where we rediscover our strength, our purpose.

The stories that were told about us, did shape us. We used fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses.

But in recovery and growth, our voice glows differently in the inside .

We no longer shy away from shame . We own our mistakes but no longer own someone else’s.

We own our own story. The good. The bad. The downright ugly.

That’s how we rediscover our own worth.

11/30/2025

Let’s talk.

After the trauma.

After we found safe spaces.

After we carry awareness.

We learn what can take and rob our energy.

And when we do acknowledge the level of our energy, we become responsible for our own recovery.

Rest becomes a factor to levelling up our energy.

We are allowed to say no.

We are allowed to not attend social spaces.

We are allowed to not answers calls, texts or emails.

Levelling up means embracing the concept of rest.

We realize at that point, we also had to save ourselves too.

11/30/2025

You responded to the call. You were able to do your job. However, there is still a lingering sense of unease. After each critical incident, it can take up to 72 hours to fully recall and process the events. & Embracing Empowerment Counselling Services offers both, facilitator-guided and self-guided assessments following each critical incident. Critical incidents can be:

A su***de or death of a colleague

A fatality involving children or adolescents

Multiple casualty incidents (e.g., mass shootings, car pileups)

Prolonged operations with gruesome or tragic outcomes

Calls involving someone you know or are connected to

Situations where you couldn’t save someone despite your best efforts

Line-of-duty deaths or serious injuries .
You deserve a Compassionate Care Team. For every call. For every scene. For every part of your journey as a first responder.

11/29/2025

First responders ( police, fire, paramedics , 911 dispatchers) are trained for the unknown.

To be alert at all times.

Placing themselves in harms way to protect and serve the members of their communities .

Yet, who is there for them?

Family members are often the first eyes to their first responder loved ones.

However, no tools in sight for first responders nor for their families.

In my private practice since 2016, I’ve implemented tools that created a space of understanding and compassion and turned into beautiful connections of safe spaces like !

Shifts are challenging, rewarding, exhausting, traumatic , all at the same time.

It’s time we take care of those who protect, serve and save our communities every single day.

11/29/2025

Sometimes the most meaningful opportunities come knocking at your door when you least expect them. Serendipity is a thing. Beautiful fortunate accidents.

For most of yesterday on my self care Friday , I had the absolute privilege and honour of sitting down behind the mic with three amazing humans in the advocacy world, where they are paving the way for mental health awareness for and with first responders( police, fire, paramedic, 911 dispatchers), public safety personnel, corrections, frontline and families, that continuously to inspire change and movement through shared stories .

As a clinician , a police wife and a first responder advocate myself, these are the moments that remind me what I do, matters. Authentic and candid conversations like this can highlight the prospect of hope, the path towards healing, creating awareness through lived experiences, building and rebuilding connections to those who need it most.

I can’t wait to share further details about this wonderful collaboration and the impactful message it conveyed for first responders ( police, fire, paramedic, 911 dispatchers), public safety personnel, corrections, frontline & their families across our beautiful country. 💙

11/29/2025

With continue rise of su***de rates amongst first responders ( police, fire, paramedic, 911 dispatchers) , corrections, we are often at a loss.

No words to describe the complexity of grief.

Su***de prevention requires us to become proactive.

Yet, when losses occur we have no clue where to start the conversation.

S- Say Their Name
T- Time -Grief has no measure of time. Be gentle with yourself.
A-ask questions of “what” not why
R-reflect your own feelings- your emotions are valid too.
T- talk, connecting with peer support groups and mental health professionals.

Su***de loss affects 6 people directly and is boomeranged outwards.

Leaning in , is what su***de loss survivors need to feel okay during such devastating loss.

11/27/2025

An old post but memories stay alive as a survivor of bullying.

Sharing a personal experience around social bullying and cyber bullying.

I was bullied at every stage of my life, yet the most damaging was when I was adult with friends that I thought had my back.

In 2015, it became apparent to me that I was in a toxic environment and friendships. Cyber bullying began, telling what I should write and what I should not write on my own social media platforms; my work emails being intercepted; dumbing me down when I stood up for myself.

At the beginning of 2016, group chats of calling me a liar, calling me “crazy”, calling me other names that I would never repeat. Yet in my head at the time, believed I was the problem.

So I took myself out of the equation thinking it would stop.

It didn’t.

When I started my private practice in 2016, the bullying continued. From making people believe I was “nuts”, to trying to discredit me for opening up a mental health practice, the fake profiles being made seeking mental health help then putting me down.

This bullying continued, and I kept silent until 5 years ago.

I took the hardest step. To speak in public forums, sharing insights with clients, with interns, around that bullying doesn’t come from strangers. They can be your friends.

That bullying is a concept of insecurity and jealousy.

That bullying happens because the person believed that’s how they get more power and likes.

The bullying that happened to me, happened within closed doors and so subtly that if I shared what happened they would deny it because others would have believed them. Why? Because they had status and power in the community.

The cyber /social bullying towards me continues to this day. They now throw shade on local groups when someone even mentions my name.

I continue to take hard punches , but it doesn’t tear me down. It doesn’t make me fragile, or weak. It makes me unshakable.

I truly feel sad for the bullies , as adults are suppose to be the catalyst of role models for our younger generation.

There’s a difference between standing up for yourself and standing on people to be heard and seen.

Recovery can be challenging after being bullied, and at time spaces can resurface emotions. Remember, that when others share their story, it’s a privilege to hear it , not a right to use what happened to them for your own unlawful gain of power.

Share your story- wisely.

11/26/2025

A little bit about my own vulnerability.

This pic may not look like I was holding trauma space, yet what transpired hours after was not only scary , it wasn’t a pretty sight.

This very night, my body kept score and it roared.

It roared so loud that for 2 weeks after I carried :

Ocular migraine - where I became blind at night

Not remembering what transpired that night

Feeling ashamed.

Feeling angry, as I thought I left my toxic past aside.

So I had two choices :

To ignore it and move forward or

To deal with what happened .

I chose the latter.

I met up with a psychologist and they said “
Parul , look what you’ve been through in the last 22 years, in the last 2 years , in the last 10 months. Your body could no longer keep the stuff your rarely spoke about, it bursted”

And I cried. A lot.

And I started to let it out.

The psychologist then said “ you need to forgive yourself for what you didn’t know ”
And then said “ go to the place you went that night and say in front of that place or when you pass by the place “ I forgive myself”.

Now I look perplexed and asked them:“ what is the reason I have to forgive myself, as what happened to me is not my fault. I didn’t ask for this to happen. I may be kind, but I’m not stupid”.

Then the psychologist said .” It isn’t about the other person at all. It’s about you doubting yourself, to what your body already knew what was happening. No one deserves the hurt you received , but you now know why your body kept score, it’s now your responsibility to heal from it”

It was in that moment when I took that task and I did that, I knew , I no longer hold that trauma, knowing full well I still had healing to do.

This night was very scary as I never realized how powerful the subconscious was.

I now no longer hold that particular trauma which was narcissistic /toxic trauma. I was a victim to it; I still am a survivor and now I’m thriving. Psychological warfare, manipulation, coercion from others , can sometimes bring me back to this space, but I don’t stay there anymore. I sometimes react, sometimes I pause, and I own what was my mine and what was never mine to begin with. That’s how I saved myself. Over and over again.

Moral of my story: it’s okay to feel frozen. Feelings you were unable to talk about as when you’re told no wants to hear your sad story, or you’re the problem, we hold a lot of shame and guilt. So we are in survival mode. It’s okay. As that was your only way to move forward. However, the moment you are aware that what happened to you, may not be a fault that you thought was yours, it is in that moment you now have a choice.

Healing is very messy. It can be debilitating. Yet it can also free you from the prison you held yourself in.

This night was my chance to break free. And months later I found my strength. I will never forget the day I broke out of my inner prison.