11/21/2025
✦ THE MOMENT I STOPPED OUTSOURCING MY HAPPINESS ✦
Ever notice how easy it is to hand your happiness to something outside of you?
A job.
A person.
A number on the scale.
A text message.
A yes that still hasn’t come.
“I’ll be happy when…”
God, I built whole chapters of my life on those four words.
I can still feel the way it started when I was little,
the way I believed a Cabbage Patch Doll under the Christmas tree would finally make me feel “popular.”
Later it became the job, the house, the relationship, the weight loss…
every version of “when X happens, I’ll finally feel Y.”
And honestly?
I thought I had outgrown that loop.
Until life handed me a situation where I was craving clarity...
not a little,
but the kind that feels like oxygen
when you’re drowning in uncertainty.
And then the Universe hit me with a truth that landed like a 2x4 to the chest:
“You can want clarity…
but you can’t require it to feel safe.”
I swear time stopped.
“What do you mean I can’t require it?
How else am I supposed to feel safe?!”
And in that stillness,
warm, steady, and annoyingly loving,
I heard:
“YOU give that safety to yourself.”
I sat there,
breath held,
heart racing,
mind collapsing in on itself…
as memory after memory rose up like smoke:
Times I said someone “made” me feel safe.
Times a delayed reply “made” me mad and worried.
Times someone’s affection “made” me happy.
Every single one was a moment I handed my power away.
Because here’s the truth I had been avoiding:
No one makes me feel anything.
I choose how I feel.
If I want clarity, I must become clear.
If I want safety, I must be the place where safety lives.
If I want happiness, I must root it in myself first —
not in a person,
not in a promise,
not in a circumstance.
But in me.
People influence our world.
But they do not get to be the architects of our emotional state.
Not anymore.
If you’ve been waiting for your Permission Slip, here it is:
Stop outsourcing the feelings you’re capable of giving yourself.
Call your power back.
Be the source, not the seeker.
Because when you stop requiring the outside to make you whole,
you stop living on emotional life support
and start living in sovereignty.
If this cracked something open in you…
good.
That’s the beginning.
🕊 Comment or DM POWER if you’re ready to take yours back.
