04/13/2026
With what I do for a living alongside my part time congregational ministry position at Grace United (Burlington) through my freelance company www. memorialsbymeg .com
I am hyper-aware on a daily basis of the fragility of life and the older I get the more I realize that life is both beautiful and sometimes unnecessarily cruel and we will just never know why. I'll never ever be able to find any kind of reasoning why cancer or car accidents or heart disease seems to take the very best.
Never the gross underbelly of society.
Over the last ten days my heart has been especially heavy.
I officiated two Memorials over Easter weekend for such lovely families: one that felt like a direct mirror of my own family of origin.
Their Mom passed (again...cancer) and the 3 kids were the same ages as me and my sisters.
Their spouses are besties and their kids were the same ages as my own moms grandkids.
Additionally:
In my personal life an old buddy from high school whom I travelled to Nicaragua with for two weeks (kinda bonds you for life)...he lost his wife. Born in 1989. Same age as Taylor Swift.
I didn't know her but the more I learned about her all I could think is how perfect she was for him and him for her. They travelled, taught, started and completed their little family and oh my word...they loved each other just SO well. You know those people you encounter even once who just stand out? That's my old buddy and his wife. Salt of the earth, unbelievably kind and patient, incredible camp counsellors and teachers and friends, siblings, cousins and just unbelievably charismatic and FUN. Life of the party and bring out the absolute best in everyone around them. Brilliant, creative, intellectual and just overall delightful.
I hadn't seen him since high school grad but he was such a good friend, even protective of me many times, and got me through the extremely difficult parts of high school on my end, just like the other SOLID Cameron heights alumni I've been reflecting about.
His wife seemed like someone I would have been instant besties with which seemed to be a common theme with those who loved her.
I ache for her too. As a wife, a Mom and someone born just one year before her.
She wasn't ready to leave her 5 year old son or her 2 year old little girl.
She wasn't ready to leave the love of her life or her two beautiful sisters, parents, tight knit family, lifelong and new friends, her students, the great outdoors and a world that just needed her love more than she ever would have realized given her humility.
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And just last week . the girl across the street from me...we met when we were six.
We are turning 38 and we are still just the best of friends. Our families stay connected through us and Bankside Crescent is still a community from my formative years that stays connected. Especially 3 families in particular.
That girl across the street has been a steadfast rock in my life. When my beloved dog died two years ago and I was consumed by grief she took a day off work to come and be with me and baby Lennox as I was on maternity leave. Just to paint a picture of the kind of person she is.
Her dad's health has been in decline for a long time. We knew this time would come sooner then any of us would have felt prepared for.
In the summer she threw her Dad a backyard party to celebrate 25 years cancer free. As I said to her "do you understand what a gift that was? He got to attend his own wake".
People from high school came to visit their ol' pal.
Her Dad passed last week after Easter weekend involved the tear filled call that it would be any day now.
I knew her big sisters as their little sisters equally annoying little buddy. One of them babysat me, the other paid us to cover her paper route when she was away and we got to feed the big sisters hamster when she was away and we were delighted and excited to take care of little rusty.
Her mom ran an in home daycare. So sometimes we were across the street for play dates but sometimes we had the pleasure of being in her care. I'm telling you I had no idea PB&J sandwiches tasted so much better if you buttered the bread first.
Now we have our own kids and they go on adventures together and despite driving distance from Seaforth to Paris we see each other more than one might assume.
Her Dad was one of the bonus Dads on the block. As a parent myself in a great neighborhood I look back at how our parents all looked out for us as we scraped our knees playing soccer or rollerblading or wiping out on our bikes. They gave us freezies and kept a sharp eye. He was a non anxious presence but strong steady protector despite his gentle nature and essence. He raised three incredible daughters with the love of his life and just like my buddy from highschool and his wife, these two loved each other so well, too. For over 40 years.
He walked two of his daughters down the aisle and got to see them complete their families as he became a Grandpa to 3 delightful boys.
My heart is so heavy. I have been hugging my boys even more than usual and occasionally looking at my husband with tears filling my eyes when he isn't watching, as I try to even imagine doing this life without him, or my boys losing their hero and bestie and the most incredible Dad.
I also don't know how to exist in a world without my parents. Even the thought of it destroys me. One of the closest people to me is living in that new normal she didn't ask for.
All I can do is love her. And call her and hold her the very best I can.
It will be enough. Because I can't bring him back or use one of my nonexistent magical genie wishes to ensure he never got sick in the first place.
Sometimes we just need to pour it all out. Long page post, or my beloved therapists ear, or in my case too: I listen to music as I think of those who are deeply hurting. I spend time with them in this way and know that it's my way of saying "sister I am with you" or "buddy I'm just so sorry this happened."
This is one of the many go-to's on my empathy playlist.
Holding the Z and T families in my heart with prayers arising and the deepest, deepest sympathy and shared sorrow.
The Script
