The Oasis: Pastoral Counselling

09/17/2024

Have you ever given a gift that wasn’t received well? Ever been surprised by a negative response to a gift, a token of your love, that you gave? Or perhaps you are the person who received the gift; perhaps it was something you did not see as so special or worthy of thanks. You may have even replied in protest, “I don’t like this. I hate this! Don’t you know what I like? Why didn’t you give me what I desired?”
There are many reasons our gifts aren’t accepted so kindly. If we knew that we would get such a negative response we probably wouldn’t have bought anything for them! And there are possibly many reasons we don’t buy what someone expects us to buy for them. We perhaps have read them wrong. Maybe they seemed to cherish the same things, so we bought on those grounds. Or maybe we bought for someone because we thought they needed the item. They wouldn’t buy it for themselves, we think, so let’s spoil them. Or maybe the person has everything, and we feel since they have everything let’s give them something we value. The problem is we never know exactly how others will respond to our gifts. Even though we have good intentions, the person might not extract “good” out of the gift given. Perhaps the gift didn’t fit them. Was it the wrong colour? The wrong size? Or just not what they would wear? Sometimes even no response to your gift was the response; hmm?
Have you ever experienced any of that? Well recently, I gave someone I love dearly some small tokens of my love. They weren’t new items. But mementos of our joint history with a person we loved who had passed away. The items were old, but I had kept them for the past 30 years because they were invaluable to me. I never thought for a second that the person I gifted them to would respond as they did.
They were hurt. Their hurt resulted in my feeling hurt. It was painful and I thought to myself, “Perhaps I will never give another gift”. It makes it so much easier if you don’t give anything, doesn’t it? You can’t get hurt if you don’t venture an attempt, or risk and give of yourself whether it be an inanimate gift or some personal service.
I was struggling with these thoughts and wondered what the deeper meaning behind this ordeal was. What was I to learn from this? What was the bigger picture?
Then I saw it. The insight came from a personal experience of my own that I had recently. I had received something in this time frame from God. He had given me a gift – an answer to a prayer. But I didn’t like it! In fact, I hated what He gave me. Have you ever disliked or maybe even hated something God gave you? Or that He did for you, or handed to you? It wasn’t what you wanted. Did you ever even consider this might be a gift? Further, did you throw out some direction you sought from God, that He finally gave you? Did you ignore His wisdom He gave in answer to a prayer? Did you loathe the position, the job He offered you? Or rejected the partner or friend He gifted to you - because they weren’t dressed in beautiful wrapping? Or perhaps someone else got the gift you wanted from God. You found yourself jealous of this person; a person that maybe you didn’t even know. They got what you wanted! They got YOUR GIFT! Oh, the anger, oh the rage.
Did you question even if God loved you? Or did you think maybe He really didn’t know you or know what you liked or what you wanted. For God to have given you such a gift! A big fat “No”! It couldn’t be His gift! There was a mistake made. There had to be. Or maybe God didn’t love you; oh, that was it. He couldn’t possibly love you because He didn’t give you what you wanted.
Has God ever taken something from you that you wanted and prayed for? You could taste it, feel it and envision it? Then God had gave you some other gift instead. You may not have even seen it as a gift. Maybe you trashed it because you didn’t know what earthly good it was for you.
Because my friends, that is the problem. We think we know everything. We think we know what is best for us and what is good for us. How could God possibly know what is good for us? But if God is a good God who loves us to the moon and back maybe we need to change our perspective.
I had to do that recently. And this horrible situation with this person who didn’t receive my gifts well was actually A GIFT TO ME, in disguise!
“What do I mean,” you ask? Well my surprise at the rejection I received at the gift I gave this person made me dig deeper. What was God trying to say to me? Then God showed me. I saw from this situation how I had done the same thing to God. His gift was an answer to my prayer, but His answer was “no”. Ever pray for someone to live but they died anyways? Ever pray for someone to get over a sickness but they kept on suffering for years with the same pain they were in before you prayed for them. Or maybe you prayed for a person to come into your life, but you were still alone after 5 years of praying. Maybe you asked for a baby, but it never birthed life outside your imaginations!
No matter what you prayed for God’s answer, His gift, may not have been what you wanted. How did you respond? I have to tell you I did not respond well to His gift of “NO”. I MURMURED AND COMPLAINED. That was my response to His gift to me. I realized I didn’t see the gift I received from GOD’S viewpoint. My response was like the person I loved who didn’t see what was in my heart when I gave what I did.
The lesson I learned: God loves me. God wants what is best for me and everything He gives; every good and perfect gift comes from God above. You may not see it as good and perfect gift, what He gave you. No, nor did I. But the lesson I learned was; when I respond negatively to what God gives me, I am saying that He doesn’t love me, He doesn’t know what is best for me, and His gift isn’t a good and perfect gift from my Father in heaven. I realized too, how I must have hurt my Father God with my complaints about the gift He chose for me. I recognized I needed to ask God to forgive me for my reactions to His will and ways for me, which I often don’t agree with!
And on our more earthly plain of existence I decided I can’t change the way someone responds to my gifts. I can only change my response to what God gives me. I have learned a lesson not to murmur and complain to God at His gifts even when He says, “NO”. I have decided to be thankful no matter what gift He hands me. Because behind the gift is the GIVER who loves me, wants the best for me, and so His gift, however it is wrapped, is His good and perfect will for me!

08/18/2024

Don't forget to sign up for either of our courses: Robin's senior instructions for gaining basic computer skills or my course, Making Peace with Your past, for healing old wounds. They are listed below here on the Oasis Pastoral Counselling.

Send a message to learn more

08/11/2024

The Oasis Pastoral Counselling Fall Course Schedule
The Oasis offers pastoral counselling dealing with grief, marriage, relational issues and day to day issues. Counselling costs are a minimum of a $20 an hour donation. However, no one will be refused counselling, and a freewill offering of any amount will be accepted. Hours of operation are flexible with appointments available during both day and evening hours. Meetings can be in person (preferred) or arranged online using Facebook Messenger.
This fall the Oasis will be offering the course Making Peace with Your Past once again. This inner healing course deals with looking at childhood griefs and grievances from our past that hold us back in the present. It will be in a private confidential setting. The theologically based course is reserved for four students only. It is an intimate 1 ½ to 2-hour course that runs once a week for 12 weeks. It will begin Sept 10th on Tuesday mornings and run from 10-12noon. It will finish in December. Because it is such a small class and deals with personal issues weekly attendance is vital and required to gain the full impact for healing. To encourage a 12-week commitment a freewill offering is required. It will be $20 a week x 12 weeks ($240), paid in advance, by e-transfer or cash. As well, the participants will be required to purchase the course book from The Oasis for an additional $25.
The Oasis will also be doing a Bible Study in the fall. There is no charge for the course but there is limited seating. The study is on Monday mornings. This fall’s topic is on Prayer. Please message me, Margaret Thomson, or email me for more information.
As well, the Oasis will be offering a basic computer course geared for seniors this fall. My husband Robin will run this 10-week course for an hour a week. It will break down the myths, fears, and confusions surrounding today’s high-tech devices. It will begin with the basic fundamentals and graduate to more everyday topics in a clean, unsophisticated language which will aid even the newest computer novice. Some of the topics include but are not limited to:
• Basic computers
• Searching On-line
• Computer security both online and off • Maintaining your Device
• Installing Programs
• Windows Updates and more
The classes are small – there is a limit of 5 persons per group and more classes will be added as the need arises. The duration of each class will be approximately 1 hour in length. The course fee is $200 for the 10 weeks paid by cash or E-transfer. It will commence on Thursday September 12th at 10:00am. Please bring your computer!
For more information and to sign up for the computer course contact Robin Thomson at countryhamlet@eastlink.ca or on Facebook Messenger https://m.me/robin.thomson.186.
Contact Information for Counselling, or the 12-week course: Making Peace with Your Past, or the Bible Study contact Margaret Thomson using Private Messenger on Facebook or email at countryartist2019@yahoo.com.

Send a message to learn more

07/10/2024

P**f – They are Gone! They are Nothing
I am reminded this morning of Isaiah 41. It strengthens me and gives me hope that God is in us and for us against our enemy. Specifically Isaiah 41:15,16 speaks to me of what all our trials and troubles do in us to mature us into full grown individuals strong in His might.
Just listen to what Isaiah 41 says God is making of you!
15 “Behold, I have made you a new, sharp threshing sledge with double edges;
You will thresh the mountains and pulverize them,
And will make the hills like chaff.
16 “You will winnow them, and the wind will carry them away,
And the storm will scatter them;
But you will rejoice in the LORD,
You will glory in the Holy One of Israel. Isaiah 41:15-16
Did you realize that you are God’s sharp threshing sledge with double edges? Did you know that you thresh and pulverize your mountains – your obstacles and make the hills – your challenges - like chaff? Just imagine blowing on them with the breath of God and “P**f”, they are gone! They are Nothing! So, why do we fear, as God’s precious children, when it is God who lives in us? And it is God who strengthens us and upholds us with His righteous right hand?
When our knees feel weak beneath us, we are to remember that God is holding us up. – so “strengthen your weak knees” (Hebrew 12:12) with these words! Gain strength from these promises of Isaiah that we are not alone in facing our enemies. We are to look around and see those who are angered at us will be the ones “shamed and dishonoured” (Isaiah 41:11). Those who have contended with us and challenged us will be as “nothing and perish” (Isaiah 41:11) – just like those mountains and hills.! Where are those who war against you? They are as “nothing and non -existent” (Isaiah 41:12).
There is that word “nothing” written twice. Those who contend with you will be as nothing and those who war against you will be as nothing, as well. They will be as nothing and perish and non-existent!
In the war against flesh and blood what is it that separates us from the love of God? Nothing! That word echoes over and over in response to Romans 8 and the three questions: “If God is for us, who is against us ((Romans 8:31-32)?, “ Who will bring a charge against God’s elect” (Romans 8:33) ? and finally “Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Romans 8:35?
And that answer – needs to be recalled. “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”. Romans 8:38-39
All that indicates a big NOTHING will separate you from God’s love. Not this trial you are going through. Not the distress at a friend or relation. Not even life or death can separate you from God’s love. Romans 8 seems to agree with Isaiah 41 as it gives the winning power punch with these words:
“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (Romans 8:37).
So my message today to you and myself is that you and I are more than conquerors – we overwhelmingly conquer! Through Him! Who loves us!

08/11/2023

08/11/2023

Will You Trust God – No Matter what?
Habakkuk 3:17-19 “Though the fig tree does not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the yield of the olive shall fail, and the fields produce no food; the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls v18, Yet I will rejoice I the God of salvation. V19, The Lord God/ the Sovereign God is my strength. He has made my feet like hind’s feet. And makes me walk on high places.”
Notice the attitude of the speaker in Habakkuk who despite circumstances, despite deprivation, and lack he chooses to rejoice in the God of His salvation, the Sovereign God who is His strength. It appears as he rejoices, he rises above his problems like a deer who walks in the high places (of heaven perhaps?).
He is rejoicing in his lack. It reminds me of Philippians 4:4 that exhorts us to rejoice in the Lord “always”. Always means at all times, forever, always, ever, eternally! Notice the timelessness of His rejoicing. Notice that we are to rejoice today even if there is lack, in that financial crisis, because rejoicing always means no matter what- good or bad! It is an eternal perspective where there is plenty!
We all know the next verses of Philippians 4: 7 about not being anxious about anything but in everything (even in the lack, people) by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving to let our requests be made known to God. The fruit of praying like that -in everything- results in God’s peace (v7).
I know it is hard to rejoice when things look dismal. It is hard when you look at the circumstances. But faith demands we look above that hardship, frustration, deprivation, and loss to God. The great challenge I believe is to trust God no matter what. It reminds me we need faith like Daniel’s friends in the book of Daniel chapter 3. Instead of worshipping a golden statue of King Nebuchadnezzar they chose to face the fiery furnace. Their faith held a “no matter what” kind of trust in God which boldly declared: that “God was able to deliver [them] from furnaces of blazing fire...v18 But even if He does not...[they would] ... not serve [this king’s] gods or worship the golden image that [he] set up”.
So what happened? They were rewarded for trusting. When they were put in the flames, it says, there was a fourth, “like a son of the gods” (Daniel 3:25) who most believe was Jesus, in the flames with them! Further, they were not touched by the fire, nor was there even a smell of smoke on them! And the King “caused Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego to prosper in the province of Babylon” (Daniel 3:30).
My question for you today is will you rejoice when you experience your barns (or your bank account) being empty? When you have no job? Will you rejoice when you are pressured to think the worst? Will you be anxious and worry?
When faced with your fiery trial to worship what this world does and that demands you bow down to the gods of success, riches, and fame will you cave to it? Will you cave to worry and fret?
Or will you come out untouched by your fiery trial because you looked to Jesus who is in this test with you? Will you let your faith take you to places of trusting God whether He blesses you or not? No matter what, will you trust Him?
I hope so – no matter what!

08/10/2023

We look at circumstances and see something or someone is dead. Like Mary and Martha looking at Lazarus now beyond life. They looked at "time". The time had now past. Jesus had been late. If only he had been there. But the eyes of faith looks up to the timelessness of His eternity, the timelessness of His love, His purpose and His plan, and rests and waits in timelessness seated with Him in the heavenlies.

07/30/2023

When God says "no", trust HIm!

07/25/2023

I wrote this piece for a friend, Sharon O'Brien. I have been struggling with many issues including finances, sickness and direction. I shared with a friend all my woes. She suggested I ask God, "Who do you want to be in my need?" So this was God's answer!

07/18/2023

A Narrative of Love
I’ve noticed different people’s narratives. They have different ideas of love and what “unconditional love” is. In fact, they have a negative view of the God of the Bible based on a few children’s stories they grew up with. What irks me is how people can rant about all they know about theology and even have academic backing but really have no experience with this God they want to eradicate. Why? Because they don’t know Him.
Sadly, it is so simple that most people miss it. They don’t want to see it perhaps because it challenges them to take a risk – a risk of faith. You see that is what a relationship of unconditional love with the unseen God takes – faith.
But it is not really a risk at all because once you get past your own ideology of fear and doubt the step forward in faith is an eye opener. To what? To a life filled with intimate experiences with a Creator God who wants to be a Father God, a most intimate friend, a counsellor, a comforter and so much more.
You see, this God who created us saw the need of what our failures and mistakes led to. They led to our-loneliness, emptiness, and brokenness because that is the result of a life without him. This God looked down and out of great love, real unconditional agape love, and sent His only Son for us to stand in our place. He took on Himself our bad choices, our sins, and became the ultimate sacrifice and stood in our place and died for us. His purpose: to capture us back into His loving arms. How great a love this God, our Father, has for us that He gave up His only son to die for us. Would you do that?
Oddly, most people never think of what kind of love it would take for a father to sacrifice His son. And they often stop at the point where Jesus, God’s son, died for us. They miss the impact of Jesus resurrection and the promised Holy Spirit that came afterwards and still comes to each of us to revive and restore in us the relationship of love with Jesus and the Father that was lost – not because of what this God did! Not because He is evil or bad. But because He is a good God and longs to be in relationship with us. Forever! For that is another promise that we have been given – that whoever believes in His son will not die but have eternal life. That’s not half bad, is it? Now I ask, who wants to be in a relationship with Him! Why not, I say? For heaven’s sake, your heavenly sake- and literally for the love of God – you should!
Now that’s my message, simple and clear. Nothing theologically sophisticated but just plain English. It’s my narrative -of love -and I am sticking to it.

07/17/2023

Isaiah 18:4 speaks of God's stillness. It says: “I will be still, and i will behold in my dwelling place”. Another translation puts it this way: “I will remain quiet and will look on from my dwelling place...” . When sometimes you don’t answer, Lord, You, are in fact “still”, God. We must trust You are beholding yet what goes on in our life. We, too, must be still and rest in your stillness and give up restlessness. As St. Augustine said, We are restless until we rest in Him.
By the way my friends: God hasn't given up and hasn't moved on to something else because He seems silent on the matter you are concerned about. Its all about you trusting Him in His silence and resting in Him! Isaiah 30 comes to mind. Read it again and see the cooperation that has to be in effect there between us and God.

07/10/2023

God Works in Mysterious Ways
Have you ever prayed for something and got something totally different in answer to that prayer? I realized today I got an answer to prayer -but it wasn’t what I was looking for! I have to say at the outset I was praying to God to move us – literally move us to a new location. I had prayed with Robin for direction as it seemed to me the doors of opportunity closed here where we live now.
Robin and I felt at a loss waiting for an answer to what to do or where to go. In the meantime, we went on living. I have made a friend since moving to beautiful Nova Scotia and Helene, that is my friend’s name, and I have gone different places and most recently visited the Ottawa House. Helene volunteers there and invited me along for coffee. She had an ulterior motive in inviting me – they need new volunteers. I didn’t find that out until after we got there, and I might not have gone had I known what was in her heart. But I am a big girl, and could say no. I don’t try to win approval from others anymore by doing what they want.
I went this particular day because I felt God was impressing upon my heart, to go. Oh, I struggled with it and tried to talk God out of having me go. But that didn’t happen! God had different plans and had information I needed to get from Helene. So, Helene picked me up and we drove down these winding Nova Scotian roads discussing different things. She shared with me her recent hobby of painting. So, our first stop was to see one of the areas that look out over the harbor and the local lighthouse. Helene wanted to show me where she would like to position herself to paint the view. It was beautiful.
In the middle of the conversation, I shared my disappointment at not being able to find old wood windows to paint. (I use these windows along with special paints to create what looks like stained glass). Helene, hearing my concern, gave a big laugh and looked amusedly at me when I shared that I couldn’t get windows. She said, “Are you serious? “I said, “Yes, they are hard to find. And most people are charging for them now!” She let out a chortle and put her hand over her mouth like a mischievous little girl. I loved this endearing quality of hers to encapsulate a young girl’s disposition, the way she did.
I was surprised by her demeanour though and in all honesty asked: “What? What’s so funny?” And she, giggling away, said,” I have a basement full of old wood windows.” I looked at her. My look of surprise and wide- eyed gazed made her grin grow even bigger now. So, I said “Are you serious?” And she was. Apparently, they had all the windows in her big old 2- story house changed years ago and never got rid of them. They were all down in her basement!
After our rendezvous at the Ottawa House, we headed back to her place. I got a good look at all the windows. There had to be at least 50 or more windows of different sizes. And because they were in her basement they were in excellent condition. They showed no signs of needing sanding or puttying which most old windows that are left outside in the elements do. I felt like I found a gold mine!
I went home thinking about these windows and wondering if I could strike a bargain with her for some or all of them. When I talked to Helene the next day, she was happy to barter with me but not for work I could do for her but for Robin’s help in dealing with her computer. Later, I talked to Robin, and he was quite happy with doing business with her. That amazed me that I was going to get these free and wouldn’t even have to work for them.
I went over today and got 6 windows. Helene seems to think that should do me for a while. I was happy for whatever she gave me, to be honest. But what was more exciting for me was what was at home that had arrived from Amazon later in the afternoon. My sister in Parry Sound had ordered and paid for all these different paints for painting windows! Paints I had never tried before. They came in so many more rich colours. They would be fun to play with! When all this sunk in though something hit me. I realized God had answered my prayer about what was next and where I should go.
I felt like, for now, all these paints and the endless supply of windows meant I should stay put and plant myself here and be creative – for now anyways. I felt things could change at any time and God could have us uproot ourselves and move on but for now my answer to prayer was to stay put and paint!
Have you ever had something like that happen? Maybe you are asking God for an answer to prayer right now. Maybe you think it should look like something. Don’t be surprised if God doesn’t send something all together different packaged in love sent through friends and family. However it looks, all I have to say to you is, “Don’t be surprised what God sends for He works in mysterious ways...His wonders to unfold.