09/29/2025
I've always thought that the best version of myself was waiting on the other side of healing.
That once the long walk through the wilderness was over, and the shade of the canopy of trees opened up the expanse of the sky, that then, and only then I could live out of the person I was always meant to be...but I'm realizing it's not like that at all...
Sometimes the best of us, starts in the ashes.
I'm talking like the blackest, thickest soot, covered from head to toe, can actually be the place where the best stories are born, the belovedness bleeds into embodiment.
You don't know the other side of yourself until you've been turned. Nothing stokes better than a fire, turning and smoldering the best parts of you to bring out the most gorgeous flame that glows.
And this is where your truth sits. It's getting heavy out there. I've been feeling it lately. Heavy to sit in the knowing of truth, when everyone seems to treat truth like a container of sprinkles, shaking fragments of itself out in the name of something greater. As if truth can be broken into tiny pieces and still considered whole. Truth fails to be itself when you start picking only the colors you like and tossing out the rest. It can't be divided and seen as the sum of its parts. No. It takes its whole self from start to finish despite context, despite circumstance, despite the environment. Truth doesn't fit in one place and not the next.
And when you truly begin to grasp this, no one, no place, can define the best of you, other than you.
It baffles me how lately opinions seem to be getting louder, and self reflection is getting quieter. Like everyone just wants to be in the band banging their drums and refusing to listen to how they really sound. There is a disrespect for self that is trendy right now on such a surface level, it's concerning. So as I sit in my fire, in my soot, I choose to hold onto a peace that is not dependent on context...a peace that says there is more to me and I am invited into the process.
But the ashes? They are the wedding dress to connection, wholeness and the truest truth my soul has ever known.