11/12/2025
These two photos were taken on the same day.
One is me hiking, smiling, grounded. The other, me in my truck, absolutely - hyperventilating - hysterically - falling apart.
Some days Iām fine. Some hours Iām fine. And others⦠Iām not.
We forget that weāre not supposed to know how to do trauma. We werenāt built to just āfigure outā the worst days of our lives ā especially those of us who pride ourselves on being the strong ones (š black cat energy girlies)
I didnāt know how to have cancer. It wasnāt on my bingo card for my life.
But here I am, judging myself for not being āover itā yet.
For being a mess and needing help. I mean - itās just cancer Iāve ābeen hurt worseā ( cause letās be honest- we have all done the pain comparison game)
Iāve never done this before.
Iāve never had to face this kind of loss or pain.
So why am I being so hard on myself?
Truth is: admitting weāre not okay is hard. Asking for help is harder. Accepting help? Oomph thatās sometimes feels impossible.
So this post is me practicing both ā being honest about not being okay and reminding you (and me) that healing doesnāt have to look perfect.
Be gentle with yourself.
Let yourself see those around you who love and support you.
Youāre not going to āscare them offā
Youāre not going to ābe too dramaticā.
You (and I) deserve to be loved and supported - in the sun or in a dark vehicle crying in a parking lot.