04/21/2026
Last Saturday, I attended a health expo in Port Dover. A woman spoke to me at length about her neighbour. Let’s call her Jane. Jane’s husband died 13 years ago. Jane has a dog she adores. She has adult children and grandchildren. She sees the grandchildren weekly. The adult children drop off and pick up the grandkids but they don’t stay long to visit with their mom.
Jane rarely leaves her home, except to shop: Garage sales, trips to the Dollar Store, grocery store and pet supply store. When she encounters her neighbour, Jane repeatedly tells her that her life has little meaning since her husband died. She lives for her grandchildren and her dog. The neighbour believes “she’s choosing to wallow in her grief” and has encouraged her to seek help through support groups or one-on-one therapy. She also described Jane as a hoarder, saying Jane refuses to let go of anything, including every piece of artwork her grandchildren have given her.
Jane refuses all offers of help, preferring to repeat her story of misery with anyone who approaches her.
Jane is lonely and isolated.
Jane is stuck in her grief.
Jane is wasting her precious life.
People who love Jane don’t want this for her. If Jane was healthy, she wouldn’t want this for herself. Does any part of Jane’s story feel familiar? I hope not. If you’re self-isolating and feel like you can’t move forward, please accept offers of support and seek formal help – like support groups, therapy or coaching – if you identify too closely with Jane.
