Wild Mother

04/30/2026

04/30/2026

😝

04/30/2026

There was a time in my life where I believed love meant understanding everything.

Holding space for someone, always being patient. And
Seeing the good in people, even when they couldn’t see it in themselves. Oh I’m really good at this one.

And if I’m being honest that didn’t start in adulthood.
As a child, I learned very quickly how to read a room.
Not in a light, intuitive way that I would like to believe but a mix of a big heart but hyper aware, always scanning kind of way.

Rooms filled with heavy drinkers. Energy that could shift without warning. And it did. Mornings where I tiptoed around hangovers, moods, and unspoken tension. Holding it all inside.

I learned how to be easy and never ask anyone r need too much. How to adjust myself depending on who I was standing in front of. I became deeply perceptive. deeply compassionate, deeply attuned to what others needed.

And for a long time, I thought that was just who I was.
Then I became an adult, and that same pattern followed me. I walked beside my dad through detox, through Alcoholics Anonymous, through the exhausting cycle of trying, falling, trying again. Thinking love would win.

I stood by partners and believed in them more than they believed in themselves. I loved people through their confusion, their pain, their chaos thinking that if I just held on long enough, loved hard enough, understood deeply enough something would shift.

I learned how to override my own needs. How to stay when I was tired. How to pour into others while quietly running on empty.

And now, I’m at a place in my life where I see it clearly.

I see how deeply I feel, how much I care. How naturally I want to hold space for others. But I also see that not everyone is meant to be held by me.

That some people are on journeys they have to walk alone. That healing isn’t something I can give to someone else, no matter how much love I offer.

And most importantly I see that I matter too. Woosh. That was so hard to realize. Let’s say it again!! I matter too. Where I am right now, I can only hold space for what feels light. Not because life is perfect, because it certainly isn’t Not because I’ve avoided hardship. But because I’ve lived in heaviness for long enough.

If you are battling your demons, I genuinely hope you find your way through them. I know how hard that road can be. That version of me the one who overextended, overgave, over understood, she carried me for a long time. But she was also exhausted. The type that you literally can let everything go just to breathe

This version of me is different.

I’m stepping into the woman I know I am,
grounded, aware, deeply feeling and finally, self honoring. Wow I feel like I need to clap for that one 👏

Love Kelly Mae

Wild Mother

04/29/2026

😝😝😝

04/29/2026

You ever notice how your sparkle doesn’t disappear all at once?

It’s not some dramatic moment.
No big ending. No clear line drawn in the sand. It can happen slowly and quietly.

A little less laughter here. More tense, a little more overthinking there. You stop telling stories the way you used to. Or lighting up over certain things. You start choosing silence instead of explaining yourself again. This one I know well.

Your energy shifts.

And if you’re not paying attention, you start thinking,
this is just who I am now. But it’s not, I promsie you. It’s what happens when you’ve been in the wrong environments for too long. The kind where conversations feel heavy. Draining. Where you’re constantly adjusting yourself, your tone, your words, your needs just to keep things smooth. How exhausting.

Have you ever been talking to someone and halfway through, you feel tired? Not physically. Something deeper than that, but could also take a nap.

Like your body is quietly saying, this isn’t it. this isnt the way it should feel. That kind of tired isn’t about needing sleep.
It’s about misalignment. And I didn’t always have language for that until I read a book that honestly shifted something in me.

Untamed by Glennon Doyle ( READ IT)

She talks about a tiger in a zoo pacing the perimeter of its cage. Back and forth. Back and forth. Not because that’s its nature but because that’s what it’s been conditioned to do in a confined space.

And even when the cage door is open the tiger still walks the same path.. but clearly wondering what else is out there. And that hit me hard. Because how many of us are doing that?

Living inside emotional cages we didn’t even build. Repeating patterns that don’t actually fit us. Calling it who we are when really, it’s just where we’ve been. You can get so used to the wrong environment. hat discomfort starts to feel normal. You will tell yourself to justy be grateful.

You shrink without realizing it, you become more easygoing, more low maintenance, more understanding. But really, you’re just dimming.

And your sparkle?

It doesn’t die.

It waits. oh yes lovely, it waits for you

It waits for the right room. The right people.
The right kind of conversation where you don’t have to search for yourself in the middle of it. Because the truth is, you’re not too much. You’re not hard to love. You’re not asking for anything unreasonable. At least thats how I view it.

You’ve just been pacing a cage that was never meant for you.

And the moment you step into something aligned

You feel it. You take a BIG deep breath

Your laugh comes back quicker. Your thoughts flow easier.
You stop second guessing every sentence. You find your silly.
You don’t feel tired halfway through a conversation you feel energized by it.

That’s how you know.

Your sparkle was never gone.

It was just waiting for you to stop living like a caged version of yourself.

Love Kelly Mae

04/28/2026

I almost didn’t wear this dress today.

I saw it on the hanger and thought, that’s cute. I put it on and it felt good light, springy, like maybe I was stepping back into myself a little. Then I turned to the side and there it was. The back fat.

I’ve struggled with it since I had River. Something about pregnancy changed my body in a way that never really went back. The skin, the way it sits it’s just different now. I remember my moms did too. And she also complained.

And listen I know all the things we’re supposed to say. Love your body. Be grateful. Your body made a human. Self love, self love, self love. I get it. I really do. But can we also just be honest sometimes?

Some days I hate it. It makes me feel self conscious. It makes me want to change outfits five times. It makes me not want to wear the things I actually like.

And at the same time, I have good intentions. I want to work out. I want to eat more healthy. I want to have it all together. But real life? Last night I got home from work and spent two hours trying to put together a stupid patio set. I did it wrong, stripped screws, had to redo parts. By the end of it, River was over tired, I was frustrated, and honestly I’m just hoping the glass table doesn’t collapse at this point. I’ll have to fix it another day.

And after a day like that? There was no treadmill. No workout. No glow up moment. I ate something and sat down and watched a show. That’s the reality. And I fudging love butter tarts 😂

You see all this stuff about thriving after a divorce and leveling up and I’m over here like. I’m just trying to get through the day. Selling and downsizing things. There is no glow up right now. This is me. One hot mess. Happy when I’ve got my Tim Hortons coffee in my hand, just doing my best.

And the thing is I’m still grateful. So deeply grateful. For my kids, my life, my job, my little business, my friends, my health, and all the experiences I’ve had. And even this spring dress

I can be grateful and still feel like a mess. I can love my life and still not love everything I see in the mirror. Both things can exist at the same time.

So today, I wore the dress anyway. Not because I suddenly love everything but because I’m not waiting to feel perfect to live my life. There are way bigger and more important things in the world than anything I just said, but those are the rantings from my mind today 🩷