09/10/2025
This morning I did an experiment on my walk. For the first two miles, I listened to everything around me, the cars, leaf blowers, construction, jackhammers, conversations, trains, etc. The noise consumed me. I couldn’t be fully present; my body felt tense, like I was pushing against the world. I was distracted. I was not peaceful. I also noticed that the noise sped up my pace, which would be awesome if that was my intention, but it wasn't.
On the way back, I put on my headphones; no music, or podcasts, or audiobook, just silence. Instantly, I felt my body soften. I noticed the trees, the flowers, and the sky. I was able to simply be. I slowed down.
I have seen this same truth at the bedside of those who are dying. Noise, chatter, and crowds can cause and increase restlessness and agitation. Quiet allows for peace. Even when someone is unresponsive, they still sense energy, voices, and sounds around them.
This is why it matters that you determine whether you want a room full of people at your bedside, or just one or two. Do you want music played, the tv on, someone reading to you, or do you want silence? These choices shape the final moments of your life.
When we are vulnerable, fragile, and tired, quiet can be the greatest comfort. But it really does come down to what you want and what is most important to you. I know I am repeating myself here, but please have this conversation with the people you love.
You cannot still the world around you, but you can choose quiet, and let the peace you seek find you.
xo
Gabby
You might find my book "The Conversation," helpful in getting this conversation started with the people you love:
https://www.amazon.com/Conversation-guide-talking-about-people/dp/B0CZXD4BT4
You might also like my recent blog "Silence," which digs deeper into this similar topic:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/post/silence
My class "Your End of Life Wishes" can help you to put your wants and wishes in writing:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/your-end-of-life-wishes
