Navigation Psychology

02/23/2024

You’ve likely heard of fight, flight, and freeze.

But what about fawn?

If you describe yourself as a “people pleaser,” you’ll likely relate to this concept.

Fawning is a term used with trauma and stress responses, or how we instinctively react to perceived threats and challenges.

The fawn response involves a strong desire to please others, seek approval, and avoid conflict. We tend to prioritize the needs of others over our own, often to an unhelpful extent.

Most of us show fawn responses at times. And healthy coping involves using each of the Four Fs when they’re necessary. After all, these responses are intended to help protect us from danger.

But issues can come up when we become entrenched in repetitive patterns. When we constantly default to habitual reactions even when they’re not serving us well.

I’ve noticed lots of overlap between fawning and perfectionism. While they’re separate concepts, they share some key things in common.

In my latest article, I explain how fawn responses connect with perfectionism. And offer 6 tips on moving away from fawning as a go-to response, so you can more flexibly handle difficult situations.

The fawn response to stress and trauma involves a strong desire to please others. Get 6 tips on moving away from fawning to more flexibly handle difficult situations.

12/30/2023

Should you set a new year's resolution?

There’s nothing like a fresh start.

We’re often motivated to make changes around certain milestones, like the start of a new day, new week, or new year.

Of course, the most famous fresh start involves setting new year’s resolutions. The age-old tradition of reflecting on the year past and declaring your intentions for January 1st.

Identifying clear goals is super helpful for promoting change. And you can take advantage of that “fresh start” mindset to inspire you into taking action this year.

But there are major stumbling blocks people can hit when it comes to setting new year’s resolutions. Especially when you struggle with perfectionism.

In my latest article, I share:
🎉 Some surprising stats on new year's resolutions - are they actually effective?
🎉 5 traps to watch out for when setting resolutions with perfectionism
🎉 5 tips for setting effective goals no matter the time of year

https://www.navigationpsychology.com/blog/perfectionism-resolutions

Wishing you a happy new year!

Avoid these common mistakes when it comes to setting new year's resolutions with perfectionism

12/08/2023

How do you feel when somebody compliments you?

Do you appreciate the recognition? Or get super uncomfortable?

Maybe you’ve reacted to a compliment with something like this: “It was nothing. I’ve still got a long way to go.”

For people dealing with perfectionism, compliments present an interesting paradox.

On one hand, you’re working really hard to achieve success and get approval from others. But on the other hand, you feel awkward when your efforts are actually recognized.

So what’s this disconnect about?

In my latest article, I offer 4 reasons why accepting compliments can be so challenging with perfectionism:

Struggle to accept compliments? 4 reasons why compliments are so challenging with perfectionism

11/29/2023

Driving anxiety is super common

But these numbers still surprised me!

​One study found that 52% of participants reported mild anxiety about driving, while 16% reported moderate to severe anxiety.

For those who live somewhere that's headed into winter weather - snow, ice, wind 🌨️ ❄️ - you might notice your driving anxiety going up right now.

If that's the case for you, check out my article on driving anxiety.

I lay out the signs and symptoms of driving anxiety, which includes thoughts, physical sensations, and behaviours.

And share 5 tips for taming driving anxiety.

Feeling overwhelmed when you get behind the wheel? Read these 5 tips for overcoming driving anxiety.

11/10/2023

You do everything you can to be the best version of yourself.

Showing up for your family and friends, putting in extra hours at work, and setting goals for self-improvement.

But no matter how much you do, deep down, you still hear that little voice that says:

“You’re not good enough. You’ll never be good enough.”

This is a common story for people living with perfectionism.

Perfectionism is informed by a core belief that you’re not worthy or valuable, just as you are.

So you get caught up in the constant pursuit of success, hoping that if you can do everything just right, you’ll finally deserve love and happiness.

But it’s an impossible situation.

Because no matter how much effort you put in, perfectionism will never be satisfied.

In my latest article, I explore the deep-seated belief of “never good enough” and the role it plays in perfectionism.

I also share 4 practices to help with understanding this core belief.

Perfectionism tells you that you'll never be good enough. Here are 4 practices that can help with uprooting this core belief.

09/28/2023

Procrastination takes a lot from us 😞

Sometimes these costs are pretty concrete. Like recently when I put off returning something I didn't want, then couldn't get my money back.

The costs can also be subtle and add up over time, like carrying the mental weight of whatever we're avoiding.

Here are some of the internal and external costs of procrastination 💸

External Costs

✳ Negative outcomes at work or school. Like if you're missing deadlines or making mistakes when rushing to finish something

✳ Financial costs. Such as paying late fees or waiting on your tax return after you delayed filing

✳ Strained relationships. Your relationships can be impacted if you're cancelling plans to get things done last minute, leaving other people to finish tasks that you put off, or avoiding uncomfortable but important conversations

✳Missed opportunities. Like a great job you never applied for or the novel you've been meaning to write

Internal Costs

✳Negative emotions such as frustration, anxiety, or overwhelm

✳ Frequent self-criticism, like if you're beating yourself up for procrastinating again
✳ Increased risk for mental and physical health concerns, including anxiety, depression, poor sleep, and cardiovascular issues

Tired of paying so much for procrastination?

Check out my new course, Get Things Done Not Perfect:
https://www.navigationpsychology.com/procrastination-course

I'm sharing practical strategies for working through procrastination and perfectionism. The goal is to help you move from feeling stuck to taking action.

Watch short video lessons with the key info you need to get started, then apply your new skills through guided workbook activities.

The course is available for an early-bird price of $150 CAD until October 3rd, when price will increase to $200 CAD.

09/26/2023

🎉 New course now available 🎉

Get Things Done, Not Perfect

WHERE YOU’RE STUCK
🛑 Before you do something, you want to know that you’ll do it well. You’re pretty hard on yourself. You worry a lot about what could go wrong. And question whether you’re “good enough”

🛑 So you end up putting things off. Waste time on your phone or doing other random stuff. Avoid situations that feel hard or uncomfortable. Then feel frustrated with yourself for falling into the same habits again

WHAT WE COVER
⭐ Understanding procrastination & perfectionism
⭐ Building a take-action mindset
⭐ Coping with difficult emotions like fear and uncertainty
⭐ Connecting with your values
⭐ Setting goals, planning action, and getting started

WHAT’S INCLUDED
⭐ 7 learning modules with 15 video lessons
⭐ Interactive digital workbook

Get immediate access to the entire course. Work through things at your own pace

No tests. No grades

Just actionable strategies to get you started and keep you moving forward, one step at a time

https://www.navigationpsychology.com/procrastination-course

09/20/2023

“If I can’t do something right, why do it at all?”

Tell me if this cycle sounds familiar:

You want to do something really well, but get totally overwhelmed by everything involved.

So you push things off to deal with later. Then “later” never comes.

Avoidance includes all those sneaky tactics we use to escape uncomfortable emotions like uncertainty, fear, and overwhelm.

We’ve all been there before, whether it’s procrastinating, withdrawing, or going into straight-up denial mode.

Perfectionism and avoidance often go hand in hand.

It’s like a never-ending loop.

Perfectionism raises the stakes, so we avoid doing things because we don’t want to mess them up. But that avoidance only feeds into the pressure of perfectionism, making the cycle stronger and harder to break.

In this article, I dive into the relationship between perfectionism and avoidance, showing how they team up to hold us back from getting things done.

Learn how perfectionism and avoidance can create a vicious cycle, holding us back from getting things done.

09/13/2023

My history with procrastination and perfectionism...

In all my years as a university student, I rarely handed assignments in before the due date.

I’d always get things in on time. But as close to the deadline as possible.

There were a few times when I submitted stuff *just* before the cut-off, desperately hoping my computer wouldn’t melt down at the last minute.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care about my work. Exactly the opposite! I felt SO MUCH PRESSURE to get perfect grades.

I convinced myself that any other outcome meant I was a failure.

I was totally overwhelmed whenever I sat down to work.

I’d predict worst-case scenarios, obsess over every detail, and worry about making even the *smallest* mistake.

I put things off so that I didn’t have to think about them anymore. Told myself I’d get to the assignment later. That I needed more time, information, or energy before I could start.

But time would pass, nothing would get done, and I’d feel even more overwhelmed.

Procrastination has been a huge part of my relationship with perfectionism.

And from the feedback I’ve had from my blogs, emails, and Instagram posts, lots of you can relate.

I’m excited to let you know that I’ve put together a new self-guided course.

It’s filled with actionable tips and concrete info on how to work through procrastination and perfectionism, delivered through short videos and a fillable PDF workbook.

My goal is to help you get things done, not perfect.

Click this link to join the waitlist now: https://www.navigationpsychology.com/procrastination-waitlist

You’ll be the first to get all the details, including a time-limited introductory price.

And stay tuned for more content on perfectionism and procrastination. Whether you take the course or not, I’m excited to share more on working through these issues.

09/12/2023

What should I have for breakfast? Should I take that new job?

Where should I park? Do I want to become a parent?

We make hundreds of decisions every day, both big and small 🤯

And decision making is especially hard when you’re struggling with perfectionism.

Perfectionism gets us second guessing every single choice, paralyzed with fear about making the wrong decision and messing things up forever.

In this article, I explain how perfectionism interferes with decision-making and share some tips for improving your decision-making process:

Here are 7 ways perfectionism impairs decision making, and 6 tips for making better decisions

08/02/2023

For some people, perfectionism is a trauma response.

It’s a learned coping strategy that’s served them well in the past.

Maybe perfectionism has helped to keep them safe, get approval from others, or feel a much-needed sense of control over their lives.

But perfectionism also comes with its costs.

Especially when we continue to rely on perfectionism even though our lives and situations have changed.

In my latest article, I explain the relationship between trauma and perfectionism.

Learn more about:
✳10 common responses to trauma
✳How perfectionism can serve as a coping strategy
✳5 areas to explore for working through trauma and perfectionism

Perfectionism can be a learned coping strategy. Learn more about perfectionism and trauma, and 5 avenues for working through them