04/25/2026
I was born into—and born for—addiction.
Its in my bloodline. These photos are me during my dysregulated years 9 years ago on the day I decided to walk into the Gulf of Mexico and end my life. I hardly recognize her and I love her. Posting them I shed new tears. Tears of gratitude.
I was the life of the party for years, but dead inside, deeply disconnected and lonely ( freeze to fight/flight responses most of my life) using alcohol and excess to cover up the pain I carried.
For years, I leaned on overspending, alcohol, even drugs, thinking they soothed my nervous system. But they didn’t. Almost ten years ago, when I was diagnosed with cancer, I surrendered my heart to Jesus Christ. But overcoming addiction wasn’t instant. Through consistent practice and training my nervous system even when some moments felt like failure I kept going. Every time I got back up, I was still training. Training to recover the identity God gave me. And eventually, I was set free.
Now, when I’m dysregulated, I lean on faith to choose what truly helps.
To understand dysregulation you must FIRST recognize your state: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn and then pick the tool to accompany prayer and surrender.
Lets break it down
Dysregulation can happen on both ends of the nervous system. When you’re stuck in fight-or-flight, that’s your sympathetic side in overdrive. When you’re frozen or shut down, that’s the parasympathetic side in a stuck, collapsed mode. A healthy system flows between both states when needed and a healthy calm parasympathetic state is ideal.
What Fight/Flight feels like- often feel on edge, anxious, or restless. Your heart might race, you could feel tense or irritable, and there’s usually this urge to act whether that means confronting something or wanting to escape quickly.
Fight or flight tools- Calming practices like slowing down breathing, soaking to worship or soffeggio tones.
Freeze feels like- often feel stuck or numb like you can’t move forward or make decisions. It might look like zoning out, procrastinating, or feeling disconnected from your emotions. You may feel paralyzed, like you just can’t respond to what’s happening.
Freeze? Gentle somantic movement, shaking, walking in nature
Fawning feels like- you continually people-please to avoid conflict or discomfort. You might quickly agree, apologize excessively, or put your own needs aside to keep others happy. You may prioritize external approval, often at the expense of your own boundaries or well-being.
Fawn? Firm safety affirming boundaries and PRIORITIZING YOU.
So if you know somethings OFF assess where you are and focus on the tools that will help. If you trying breathwork and you are in a FREEZE state it likely will make you more disconnected. It requires MOVEMENT. If you are in fight/flight and go for a run 🏃♂️ it wont help your nervous system in the long run. Train yourself appropriately.
Training means consistent effort toward a GOAL.
And when we anchor in Christ, we can find true peace and adding in tools helps us on the journey home.
If this resonates, let me help walk you home.
Join me for the next round of The Foundations Masterclass, starting May 20th.
JOIN HERE
⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
https://www.takebackyourhealth.ca/the-foundations