01/27/2026
Most conflict in relationships isn’t about the issue itself — it’s about how the conversation begins. When a conversation starts with criticism, blame, or intensity, the nervous system often hears danger, not information.
𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭:
Before bringing something up, pause and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling, and what do I need?” And check in with your partner if they have time and bandwidth for a conversation. Then begin with:
“I feel…”
“I need…”
“This matters to me, and so do you.”
A softer start-up reduces defensiveness and increases the chance that your partner can actually hear you. Notice how their body language, tone, and openness shift when the conversation begins with safety rather than accusation.
Photo / Graphic Idea:
Two mugs of tea facing each other
Text overlay: “How you start matters.”
✨Discover your relationship’s strengths (and what could use a little care) in the free Intro to Level Up Your Relationship course — https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/free-intro-to-level-up-your-relationship (link in bio)