Communicating Well

Communicating Well Helping individuals to shift their experience so they can connect more consciously with themselves a

Most conflict in relationships isn’t about the issue itself — it’s about how the conversation begins. When a conversatio...
01/27/2026

Most conflict in relationships isn’t about the issue itself — it’s about how the conversation begins. When a conversation starts with criticism, blame, or intensity, the nervous system often hears danger, not information.

𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭:
Before bringing something up, pause and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling, and what do I need?” And check in with your partner if they have time and bandwidth for a conversation. Then begin with:

“I feel…”
“I need…”
“This matters to me, and so do you.”

A softer start-up reduces defensiveness and increases the chance that your partner can actually hear you. Notice how their body language, tone, and openness shift when the conversation begins with safety rather than accusation.

Photo / Graphic Idea:
Two mugs of tea facing each other
Text overlay: “How you start matters.”

✨Discover your relationship’s strengths (and what could use a little care) in the free Intro to Level Up Your Relationship course — https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/free-intro-to-level-up-your-relationship (link in bio)

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
01/26/2026

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

Wanting to deepen your relationship or get more clarity on the 'fit' of your relationship? Here are some questions from ...
01/23/2026

Wanting to deepen your relationship or get more clarity on the 'fit' of your relationship? Here are some questions from my course '𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥 𝐔𝐩 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩' to explore with both yourself and a partner:

❤️What does money mean to you? Why is that?
❤️What do you tend to do when you get into conflict: avoid, escalate, discuss, take time outs, need to win, etc? Where do you think you learned this strategy from?
❤️When you are upset, what feels like support for you? How comfortable are you asking for this support?

Want to keep the conversations going? Jump into my 11-lesson online course: https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/level-up-your-relationship (clickable link in bio )☝️

Healing doesn’t mean we stop feeling pain — it means our system has enough capacity to hold both joy and struggle. The p...
01/22/2026

Healing doesn’t mean we stop feeling pain — it means our system has enough capacity to hold both joy and struggle. The playful moments, the laughter, the sense of ease… they tell us our bodies remember safety again.

Therapy helps create the conditions for this kind of aliveness. When we tend to our emotional world with care, we make more space for spontaneous happiness — the kind that arises from simply being ourselves.

Whether you want to deepen connections or boost confidence in social settings, asking questions is a powerful tool. It e...
01/21/2026

Whether you want to deepen connections or boost confidence in social settings, asking questions is a powerful tool. It encourages your nervous system to shift from fear to curiosity, promoting a calmer state of mind. Plus, it’s an excellent way to learn about others, fostering a sense of comfort and safety in social environments.

𝐒𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐬:
1) Choose a few questions from our weekly posts
2) Practice with your friends and family (what a great way to learn more about them too!)
3) Experiment going into new social situations and using the questions to start conversations and build your confidence and sense of connection.

What helps you feel more socially comfortable and more connected?

True listening isn’t just hearing words — it’s tuning in to what’s underneath them. Instead of planning your response, t...
01/20/2026

True listening isn’t just hearing words — it’s tuning in to what’s underneath them.
Instead of planning your response, try to listen for feelings: “You sound frustrated,” or “That must have been hard.
This small shift turns conversations from debates into connection.
When your partner feels heard, they soften. When you feel understood, you relax. Listening with genuine curiosity helps both people drop their guard and communicate from the heart rather than from defense.

✨Learn how to listen — and be heard — in deeper ways through the free Intro to Level Up Your Relationship course: https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/free-intro-to-level-up-your-relationship (link in bio)

So many people arrive in therapy believing something is fundamentally wrong with them. But what if the patterns you’re s...
01/19/2026

So many people arrive in therapy believing something is fundamentally wrong with them. But what if the patterns you’re struggling with are part of an unfinished story, not a failed one? Becoming is nonlinear. It includes pauses, detours, and revisions. Therapy is not about fixing a broken self—it’s about supporting an ongoing unfolding.

Small Steps, Deep Change - You don’t have to overhaul your life to feel better. Focusing-oriented therapy begins with si...
01/16/2026

Small Steps, Deep Change - You don’t have to overhaul your life to feel better. Focusing-oriented therapy begins with simple moments of awareness — a pause, a breath, a gentle question to yourself. Over time, these moments build emotional literacy and resilience. Deep change happens quietly, one small step at a time.

✨Start with one small step today - Join my free 5-lesson course You Gotta Name It to Tame It.

Click the link in my bio to start Lesson 1 today (https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/you-gotta-name-it-to-tame-it)

Curiosity softens us.It invites us to tilt our head, pause the certainty, and notice what else might be here.When we mee...
01/15/2026

Curiosity softens us.
It invites us to tilt our head, pause the certainty, and notice what else might be here.
When we meet ourselves — and each other — with curiosity rather than judgment, the world opens up. Possibility returns. New meanings emerge. And change becomes imaginable.

Relationships don’t thrive on grand gestures as much as they do on small, steady moments of attention. A daily check-in ...
01/13/2026

Relationships don’t thrive on grand gestures as much as they do on small, steady moments of attention. A daily check-in — five minutes over coffee or before bed — helps you stay emotionally aligned.

You might ask, “How’s your day been?”, or “What’s one thing you’ve appreciated today?” These brief check-ins help partners feel seen, valued, and part of the same emotional team — even when life is busy.

It’s less about fixing and more about staying connected to each other’s inner world. Over time, those five minutes become a foundation for trust and closeness.

✨Discover your relationship’s strengths (and what could use a little care) in the free Intro to Level Up Your Relationship course — https://communicatingwell.uteach.io/courses/free-intro-to-level-up-your-relationship (link in bio)

This can feel counterintuitive in a world that tells us we must be harder on ourselves to improve. Yet shame rarely lead...
01/12/2026

This can feel counterintuitive in a world that tells us we must be harder on ourselves to improve. Yet shame rarely leads to growth—it usually leads to hiding. When we are met with acceptance, whether from a therapist or from ourselves, our nervous system softens. From that place, change becomes possible not because we’re forcing it, but because we finally feel safe enough to explore new ways of being.

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Creating Conscious Connection

Part of communicating well is learning to understand our own inner landscape - our thoughts, emotions, body sensations and reactions. By increasing this self-awareness, we are more able to engage in conscious connection. This conscious connection allows for more compassionate communication with both ourselves and others.

Make sure to ‘Like’ my page and select ‘Follow’ so you are the first to know about free trainings, programs and resources that I launch (these buttons are located below the banner picture).

Also please ‘Share’ my page with anyone you know who is interested in learning to build and nurture their inner relationship with themselves or external relationship with others.

Take care, Jill