James A. Rutherford Funeral Home Ltd

02/19/2026

FUNERALS & PRICING:
FIRST... learning you're in charge.
SECOND... being in charge.

When looking at a funeral home price list, the packages themselves are usually broken down into three main categories. You will see costs listed for:

PROFESSIONAL & STAFF SERVICES: meaning professional fees, coordinating rites and services, documentation, preparation of remains, transport of remains, staffing, facilities, vehicles, etc.
SUPPLIES: meaning things you purchase like a casket or an urn, cremation jewellery, vault, stationery, etc.
DISBURSEMENTS: meaning things the funeral home pays for on your behalf, that go to second parties and are put into the funeral home contract, like the cost of the cremation fee that gets paid to the crematorium, or the cost of a newspaper notice that gets paid to the newspaper, or the municipal death registration fee to register the death at the city. Others might be a clergy honorarium, or flower costs, etc.

These three sub-headings under any one of the funeral home packages, comprise the entire contract. Within those sub-headings things may be removed if not needed or added if desired, depending upon what you wish to do.

THINGS TO NOTE:
A. Without sitting down with a funeral director and going over your specific wishes, there are only two types of services that can be quoted over the phone in their entirety, including all applicable taxes, right off the bat – a basic direct cremation or a basic direct aquamation. The reason these two can be quoted complete is due to the fact that there are no real variables in them. They are pretty straightforward.

B. Be aware that sometimes, when a funeral home tells you the cost of a service, or you see the service on a price list, it is probably the cost of only the Professional & Staff Services and not the supplies or disbursements that would go into that service. Why? Because, as mentioned, other than a basic direct cremation or aquamation, the funeral home can’t know what supplies you want or what disbursements are needed or desired without going over the options with you. But they can give you the cost of the Professional and Staff Services because those are the funeral home’s costs. The other things depend upon what you want to do. So, always make sure you know what a funeral home is quoting you.

KEEPING COSTS DOWN: There are ways in which the costs of a funeral need not get out of hand. The most variable cost of any funeral is that of a casket or the urn that is chosen. There are caskets that range from $1,500 up to $14,000. There are urns that range from $200 up to $3,000. In between that wide range are some beautiful selections. Instead of an urn however, one might have a receptacle, a family heirloom, that holds some personal meaning. Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services has placed remains into a cookie jar, a fire extinguisher and an empty shell from a naval vessel, just to name a few.

There are also numerous options as to where a service might be held that will cause the price of the service to change.

In addition, there are disbursements that are not a necessity, like a newspaper notice (usually free on a funeral home website), or flowers, or an honorarium if you have a family member who wishes to speak instead of clergy. It’s the disbursements that you have the greatest control over.

If the wishes of the deceased were never specified you might select one that fits what it is you want to do, keeping in mind that cremation or aquamation gives you the luxury of time to do a service wherever and whenever you wish. You have the time to confer with friends and family over how you would like to honour someone.

POINT FORM: There are very definite and simple ways to keep funeral costs lower for those who are looking to do so. Some of the most common are listed here:

• The selection of the service itself. These are the typical services offered by most funeral homes from most costly to least costly. Traditional Service / Memorial Service / Celebration of Life Service / Graveside Service / Direct Aquamation / Direct Cremation / Donation of Body to Science.
• Hold a private or more casual gathering on your own without funeral home involvement.
• Urns for cremated or aquamated remains are options, not necessities. You may also use a family heirloom or receptacle from home to house the remains.
•Most often a vault in a cemetery is an option, not a necessity.
•Obituaries are free on funeral home websites but not in a newspaper.
• Instead of buying a casket spray for a traditional service, consider the elegance of a single long-stemmed red rose laying atop the casket.
• Select a more modestly priced casket. There are beautiful ones, not too expensive.
• Consider having a favourite photo of your loved one at a memorial, without the remains being present, so that no urn is required if you don’t wish to have one.
•Hold a “same-day” service so visitation and service are on one day.
• Lock-in costs by doing a pre-paid arrangement with the funeral home. It’s flexible in payment, the payments gain interest, and the funeral is paid for when the time comes, with money left over for the family.

AND FINALLY: There are those who feel that if there is no public funeral service being held, there is no caring, and this is simply untrue! The two are not synonymous. Besides the most obvious reasons for not having a public service (the deceased did not wish it or there are no family or friends left to warrant it) the important thing to keep in mind is that in some way, at some time, that person’s life should be honoured and there are many large and small ways to do that with or without a funeral home being involved.

ALL ARRANGEMENTS CARRIED OUT BY RUTHERFORD CREMATION & FUNERAL SERVICES INCLUDE:
Arrangements with the family
Transfer of the deceased from place of death into our care
Transfer to crematorium or aquamation facility or cemetery.
Delivery of remains to family
Placing an obituary if desired
Providing unlimited Proof of Death Certificates
Filing all of the government paperwork, including the CPP lump sum death benefit and survivor's benefit
Cancellation of pertinent government cards and programs
Cost of the cremation or aquamation itself
Cost of cremation casket or aquamation shroud
Cost of burial permit
Cost of death registration and coroner's certificate
Arrangements made in the comfort of your own home if coming into the funeral home is not desired or prohibitive.
If you would care to view your loved one prior to a cremation or aquamation occurring, just mention so.

02/14/2026

TRAVELLERS

I have been blessed in my small and insignificant, grand and all-important life. I’m reminded of it often. How sublime and ridiculous life can be, and how calculated and random. Usually when I’m reminded of my blessings, I realize I’m blessed too in how fortunate I’ve been to be able to see that arbitrary element, and to share many of my days with those I choose to share them with.

It’s my opinion, at least through my own observation, that sometimes people enter and leave one’s life because they were meant to – either through a lapse in what was once a mutual situation or because of a personal blindness, or due to a distance or break in life’s circumstances. And there are times when I look back fondly on some earlier years, usually to high school friends, a passionate relationship, a missed chance – all of which are lost to time and existing in a vacuum that I dress up in the perfect “forever-land” warmth of idyllic childhood I’ve conjured up at the tender age of sixty-four. And there’s some melancholy in that. When we look back on friendships lost, we can be so hurt when confronted with what we thought was once so permanent, having turned to transience, can we not?

I have not one friend left from those early days who exists in my “real” world. I do, however, have one that entered my life in my early career, that has remained steadfast and dear for over 35 years. I don't dwell on why so much as feeling grateful for the time allotted – both for the “lost” souls as well as the current ones. And then of course, there is family. And despite loving every single family member in the circle thus far, I recall my father saying to me in conversation: “you can’t choose your family, nor are you required to love everyone in it.” Wise words, I think. Raw truth.

There is, however, a strange and heartwarming situation in my personal life that resonates with me often and it is there to reflect upon in real time. It involves a few women I have loved beyond the bounds of friendship. It forms a pillow I could only lay my head upon after having been stitched together through forgiveness and understanding and is maintained through a quiet prayer of gratitude. Despite harbouring an ever-so-slight sense of sadness and shame about it, both of which are my issues and not theirs – I’ve come to understand that I hold an enviable relationship with these women from my past. You see, I am genuinely pleased and a little pensive to say: that I once had a very long-term relationship with a woman (with whom I bought my first house but never married), have been, however, married twice in my lifetime (the first wife with whom I share a magnificent daughter / the second whom I consider a necessary angel) and am now in a clearly grounded and nurturing relationship that has grown ever stronger in the past seven years – someone with whom I share all fears and folly and whatever triumphs a well-meaning life can muster. It took me a long while to get here.

The blessing in all of this, considering the trials of disillusionment and pain that all parties went through in the past, is that all but one of the aforementioned “life partners,” have become dear friends with one another. That kind of situation provides cause to pause, especially when one attends their former spouses surprise 60th birthday party, meticulously planned by my daughter, and the woman you bought your first house with as well as your current common-law spouse are in attendance with you at said ex-wife's shindig – each knowing one another, each friend with one another and each genuinely happy to see each other. And this event was not the first. There have been countless times when paths have crossed and pleasantries were genuinely shared – on visits, at events and through phone conversations.

It is not an exaggeration to say I am massively thankful for this, particularly for the example of forgiveness and friendship presented over the years to my daughter who is so fond of them all and who has grown up so well adjusted in the understanding that love and forgiveness may go hand in hand, even after the relationship is over. That example alone, is food for strength if things ever fall apart for her.

The healing of these relationships, however, was not a sudden revelatory gift. They needed to be worked on. It required an awareness that we have mutually wounded each other in the past, that words were said and things were done to justify positions – that ultimately parts of ourselves were broken or altered to maintain the role of victim. But through time and honest conversation, particularly with oneself, the illusion of one of us as guilty and the other innocent may reveal itself as sand and sea, both sifting the facts to suit their own shoreline as the water rolls in.

Sure, things change. People come and go sometimes. I mean that not with a flippant devil-may-care attitude, but in the light of a sobering reality and experience. That’s okay. Sometimes the healing only happens after all is irreparably damaged. But if one manages to find it within themselves to cast a glance into the other’s reality, to freely revisit the shadows of their own past and see themselves in the naked light of a truth they hadn’t come to terms with before, they might plant the seed for a different tree to grow.

From my perspective, when and if that happens, there truly will be lifelong friends to celebrate with. All because they... we... strong and fortunate souls in the theatre of life – allowed ourselves to see our own contributions to the mayhem and allowed ourselves to grow our temporarily stifled spirits again, out of the fissure of the broken promise of “happily ever after.”

UNTIL SOON. LIVE WELL.

02/10/2026

02/03/2026

VINCENT RODERICK GRATTON
February 1945 - January 2026

Vincent Roderick Gratton, a life long 80-year resident of Stratford, passed away peacefully on January 27, 2026 at Stratford General Hospital, surrounded by his loved ones.

He owned and operated Gratton Auto Collision, taking over from his father Don Gratton, for many years.

He is survived by his loving wife of 57-years, Maureen (Gilks) Gratton, his children Melinda (Gratton) Struke and son-in-law Micheal, James Gratton and daughter-in-law Laura and their children Huxley and Quinn; his brothers Don Gratton Jr. and Philip Gratton and sister-in-law Sylvia (Gilks) Defent. He will be dearly missed by many nieces and nephews.

He is predeceased by his parents Don and Betty (Borman) Gratton and brother-in-law Gino Defent.

Vincent loved Stratford History. He collected postcards, books and papers on Stratford, researching its roots and the families that helped to shape and build this beautiful city – taking great pleasure in writing articles for “Streets of Stratford” and many other publications. He loved answering questions online and helped many with pictures and research work for their own books.

As per his wishes, cremation has taken place and a private interment will be held at Avondale Cemetery in future. Family will be holding a Tribute Celebration in June, his favorite time of year. Please return to this site as details will be posted at a later date.

Should you wish to honour Vince, donations are gratefully being accepted to the Stratford Hospice (www.rotary hospice.ca), directly, or through Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services (www.jarfh.com). 804 Ontario St., Stratford, ON. N5A 3K1. 519-271-5062.

02/02/2026

TIME SIGNATURE

Let’s pick an analogy between music and our lives, and by example let’s illustrate it. There is a most profound quote once put forward by the continuously shape-shifting and forward-forging jazz giant, Miles Davis, and it is this: “When you hit a wrong note, it’s the next note that makes it good or bad.”

That is so brilliant on so many levels, and although it’s clearly a reference to the forever undiscovered country of musical expression, it can be looked at as a metaphor for redemption, forgiveness and life’s never-ending practice. And like proficiency in musical endeavours, it is true as true can be that a large swath of life might feel as though it mimics the glorious crescendos of a sweeping symphony at times, or the weird and wonderful mood of a strange jazz time signature. But all too often, it still seems too little known, that musical genius comes from being practiced, over and over again, much like our lives should be – so that we can adapt and bring ourselves to a point where we feel somewhat satisfied with who we are in the world – for the moment at least – leaving the door to ourselves unlocked and open for alteration. For our own creation. Our own creation!

This is as it should be. Our living should be practiced continually. Change is not only what happens when something around us has shifted – our jobs or the places in which we live for example. The most important shifts happen within, through awareness of ourselves and how we feel, think and do. We need to be awake for that, meaning not just in the act of feeling, thinking and doing, but a step back from our rehearsed expressions, asking ourselves either during or after the sense, the thought, the action – why? In these scenarios where we observe ourselves, it is never about other people, it is only about us. And of course it should be, under the circumstance, as “to know thyself” from one moment to the next is the major goal of our lives. Some people lately have called that “woke,” tacking it onto all kinds of personal fears they haven’t reckoned with and which allow them an excuse for poor behaviour, as if they don’t want to be awake, rather more asleep, as if “woke” is some kind of bad word – when really what it means is to be aware, within the greater context of existence.

In keeping with the musical analogy of our lives, why should we want to expand our life’s (musical) vocabulary? Because if we don’t, we’ll be listening to (read: doing/believing) the same old song, oblivious of ourselves and how what we do and say affects others – we’d be like a playlist with gigabytes of storage for potentially new and unique musical styles but the ‘repeat’ button is stuck in the on position. And subconsciously, we, and potentially those around us, are getting tremendously bored listening to the one song over and over again. Our lives routine. Our opinions dull, unopened and unimaginative.

As for what allows us to break free from the monotony of ourselves sometimes – you might be surprised at how far a simple gesture or alteration in our behaviour can make a seismic shift within. And this is where the “wrong note” might lead to the right action. Much of the time it isn’t a result of what happens in our daily lives that changes us in the long-term, it’s our perspective on that thing. We cannot change the event; it has already taken place. Only what we think of it or how we see it can be altered, after the fact. We can choose and we can practice who it is we want to be and we will eventually, act accordingly – becoming the one we are imagining. Miles Davis became a chameleon of personal style throughout the course of his musical explorations. But in our, perhaps, more humble endeavours: If one wants to feel more love in the world, practice being more loving. If one wants to be of service, do something outrageously compassionate. If one wants to potentially change their mood for the better – practice smiling more. We’re not fixed in mind or body our whole lives.

How boring to resign ourselves to “this is who I am” as though we have already put forward an excuse for “this is why I can’t change” – when deep down inside we are barring our own doors from being opened, denying potential for growth, hiding the truth from ourselves – which in all actuality, is us saying: “this is why I won’t change.”

UNTIL SOON. LIVE WELL.

01/28/2026

JEFFREY WILLIAM McNEILLY
April 1969 - January 2026

Jeffrey William McNeilly passed away peacefully in Kitchener, Ontario at the age of 56, on January 27, 2026.

Born in Listowel, Ontario on April 24, 1969, he is predeceased by his father William David McNeilly who died in 1981 and leaves behind his loving mother Doris Ruth McNeilly (Bateman), as well as his supportive brothers Richard Allan Hanna, Joseph Melvin Hanna (Beverly) and David Dean Hanna. He will be missed by several nieces and nephews.

For much of his life Jeff worked at Ventra Plastics in Kitchener within a manufacturing capacity.

He will be remembered for his Integrity, his fight for life and his warm nature and will be sorely missed. Jeff will be celebrated privately by those who love him.

Donations in memory may be made to a charity of one’s choice, directly, or through Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services. 804 Ontario St., Stratford, ON. N5A 3K1. 519-271-5062.

01/26/2026

ELIZABETH "BETTY" LOUISE BOYCE
December 1937 - January 2026

Elizabeth “Betty” Louise Boyce passed away peacefully at the Stratford General Hospital on January 23, 2026, at the age of 88.

Betty is the beloved wife of the late Bill Boyce (1993) and a devoted mother to Nancy Middleton (Bill), James Boyce, and Richard Boyce (Karen). She was a loving and proud grandmother to Nathan Middleton, Benjamin Middleton (Jessica), Jayde Middleton (Zack), Olivia Boyce, and Spencer Boyce.

Betty is dearly remembered by her sisters-in-law, Carolyn Paulen and Betty Paulen and was predeceased by her parents Roy and Mary Paulen; her infant son Robert (1967), her brothers Earl Paulen and Allen Paulen (Betty), and her sister Marion Feltz (Mervin).

Born in Fullarton Township, Betty began her life rooted in family and community. Following her marriage to Bill she lived in London before returning to Mitchell – a place that would remain at the heart of her life. Mitchell was more than just home to Betty, it was a community she was deeply proud of, where friendships mattered and people truly knew one another.

One of Betty’s favourite chapters was her time working at Crosswinds, the local restaurant in Mitchell. There, she did far more than serve meals; she connected with people. Betty treasured the conversations, the familiar faces and the stories shared. Music was a constant and defining presence throughout Betty’s life. From her early years playing in a family band, she carried her musical gift with her always. She found great joy in playing the organ, sharing music that brought comfort to herself and others, and that reflected her warm and expressive spirit. Betty cherished sitting outside, enjoying the fresh air and spending time in the company of friends and family. A devoted Toronto Blue Jays fan... and a personal fan of Paul Molitor 😉

In her later years, Betty resided at Chartwell Anne Hathaway, where she formed meaningful friendships.

The family extends heartfelt thanks to the Stratford General Hospital’s doctors, nurses and staff for their care, kindness, and compassion. To honour Betty’s memory, donations are gratefully being accepted to the Stratford General Hospital Foundation (www.sghfoundation.org), directly or through Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services (www.jarfh.com). 804 Ontario St., Stratford, ON. N5A 3K1. 519-271-5062.

A private family gathering for Betty will be organized for a future date.

01/23/2026

THE FIRST STEP IN PREPARING AND WISE CHOICES TO MAKE. SOME HOMEWORK:

CHECKLIST FOR FUNERAL PLANNING

This information has been made available as a courtesy, from Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services; and as such, is information that applies to the Province of Ontario. It is meant to empower people with the information they may need in future or of which they are unaware, and to demystify issues concerning death and dying.

These are the standard questions asked when you have chosen a funeral provider. They will be used to fill out all the paperwork required to carry out any arrangement. It is wise to know the answers and/or have the answers in a file for the one who will need them. Likewise, it’s as simple as calling a funeral home and having them on record. This is called a “pre-discussion.”

1. What is the deceased’s full and proper name? (And maiden name if applicable)
2. What is the deceased’s full address?
3. What is the deceased’s birthdate?
4. What is the deceased’s birthplace?
5. What is the deceased’s SIN # (Social Insurance Number)?
6. What is the deceased’s health card number?
7. What is the deceased’s father’s name?
8. What is the deceased’s father’s birthplace
9. What is the deceased’s mother’s name (and maiden name)?
10. What is the deceased’s mother’s birthplace?
11. What was the deceased’s occupation? In what field of work? (Please do not list “retired.” It should be a job that they paid into CPP through an employer.)
12. What is the deceased’s marital status?
13. What is the deceased spouse’s or common-law partner’s full and proper name? (Even if divorced or deceased) Also, maiden name (if applicable).
14. What is the deceased spouse’s or common-law partner’s SIN #? Date of birth? Place of birth? (IF LIVING)
15. Is there a will? (IF THE ANSWER IS “NO” - PLEASE GO TO QUESTION # 18
16. What is the full and proper name of the executor(s) of the will? (If there is more than one executor, please list all executors. What is their relationship to the deceased?
Note: Please do not list the people who WOULD be executors, if the executor is unwilling or unable. Please note, that people who are “Power of Attorney” are not necessarily the executor of the will.
17. What is/are the executor’s full address(es), email(s) and phone number(s).
18. What is the NEXT OF KIN’S contact information? (name/phone/email)
19. What is the Next of Kin’s relationship to the deceased.
20. Who will be signing the necessary paperwork to carry out the arrangements and what is their relationship to the deceased.
21. Are there children of the deceased who are under 25 years of age and attending school full-time?

A. Make sure that you and others know where the will is kept, (if there is a copy), and with which lawyer. You should have the lawyer’s contact information. While a will is not necessary, it is always easier with government paperwork when there is one. Power of Attorney is NOT a will. Power of Attorney ends as soon as someone dies. You need to know exactly who the executor(s) of the estate is/are.

B. If you are a son or daughter or family member taking care of an ailing family member, it makes things easier if you are on the bank account of your ailing family member, as an account holder. Obviously, this would be a relationship of trust.

C. Make sure others know where the marriage certificate is. If you are married, the funeral home will make a copy as there is a spousal support/children’s benefit to be applied for.

D. Make sure others know if you have a pre-arrangement, (either prepaid or just pre-discussed), with a specific funeral home or know which funeral provider you would like to use.

E. Make sure people know your wishes. Burial? Cremation? Aquamation? Service? No service? Public? Private? Funeral Home? Church? Other venue? Burial in a cemetery or scattering?... etc. Do NOT trust that your wishes will be read in a will alone. Tell someone, write it down, or you may get the information to a funeral home to place in a file. If MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying) is an option that you want to consider, it is legal in Canada, and should be discussed and/or prepared for. Rutherford Funeral Home has detailed information on this if you wish to have it emailed.

F. Make sure the cemetery information is up to date if you are to be buried in a plot, whether full body burial or burial of cremated remains. Taking care of “ownership” issues of a plot of land is important, especially if the owner is already buried there. Update the cemetery file as needed.

G. If there are personal items in the house, a safety deposit box or elsewhere; letters, money, certificates, etc., convey that information to the individual handling your affairs.

H. It’s a great advantage to have a checklist of items written out for your executor. Things on the list might be: 1. Companies you’ve worked for in which a pension or benefit is received. 2. Bank account numbers and holdings. 3. Insurance products. 4. Addresses and important telephone numbers of family and friends that should be notified of your death. A personal checklist is a gift to make the executor’s job easier and more efficient.

I. If you have specific wishes regarding donations to a charity, specify that.

J. You may want to write personal letters to those you love before you go. That would be a gift of unique and enduring value.

UNTIL SOON. LIVE WELL.

01/21/2026

ROY JOHN KIRNBAUER
July 1947 - January 2026

It is with profound sadness we announce the passing of Roy Kirnbauer. Roy passed away peacefully January 20th, 2026 at the age of 78, surrounded by family.

Born to the late Frank and Marguerite (Margaret) Kirnbauer, Roy grew up with a strong sense of family, hard work, and loyalty—values he carried with him throughout his life. Roy leaves to mourn his devoted wife and best friend, Sandra (née Boomer), with whom he shared a lifetime of love, partnership, and adventure. He was a proud and loving father to Shawn Prosper (Valerie), Michelle Evans (Dwayne), Daciana MacDuff, Mark Kirnbauer (Chrissy), Michael Kirnbauer (Annette), and Margaret Love (Shayne).

Roy was the proudest Papa to Eric, Aubrey, Reed, Madison, Liam, Owen, Max, Stella, and Spencer, each of whom brought him immense joy and pride. He will be dearly remembered by his siblings Glen, Karl (Karen), and Carol Judge (Fred), and is survived by many nieces, nephews, and cousins across Canada, the United States, and Austria.

Roy was predeceased by his granddaughter Sydney, his niece Nicole, and his in-laws George and Louise Boomer.

A mechanic for many years before becoming a truck driver, Roy was known for his skill, his strong work ethic and most importantly, his kindness to his customers. Outside of work, he embraced life with enthusiasm. Roy and Sandi enjoyed many trips to Indiana and Wisconsin to watch tractor pulls with their “American family and friends”. An adventurer at heart, he loved to travel and explore and he shared that passion with his family, from trips to Disney, exploring the states and annual cottage and camping trips, Roy wanted to show them all his favourite spots. Whether enjoying a rye and ginger with friends, playing in the backyard with the grandkids or dancing his heart out to AC/DC, he cherished every moment spent with family and friends.

Roy will be remembered for his big heart, his steady presence, and the way he made everyone around him feel valued and loved. His legacy lives on in the many stories he shared, the lessons he passed down, and the family he adored.

Special thank you to Aleshia Nolan, Jessica Smith and the many nurses and PSWs that assisted Roy in his ALS journey while at home. A heartfelt thank you to the wonderful staff and volunteers at Rotary Hospice Stratford Perth for the compassion and care he received in his final days.

Per Roy’s wishes, cremation has taken place. A Celebration of Roy’s Life will be held on Sunday, February 1, 2026 from 2-5 pm at the Army, Navy & Airforce Veterans Hall at 151 Lorne Ave. E. in Stratford.

As expressions of sympathy, memorial donations may be made to Rotary Hospice Stratford Perth (www.rotaryhospice.ca) or the ALS Society of Canada (www.als.ca), directly or through Rutherford Cremation & Funeral Services. 804 Ontario St., Stratford, ON. N5A 3K1. 519-271-5062.