Becoming Yourself Counselling

Becoming Yourself Counselling My name is Michael Holker MSW RSW Registered Social Worker / Therapist; I offer services in Ontario

Greetings,

I'm Michael Holker, a Registered Social Worker/Therapist. My journey in social work began in 2015 when I completed my Bachelor of Social Work, followed by further education to earn my Master's in Social Work. My path to this point has been marked by what I like to call "fateful detours and wrong turns," but it has always been clear that I wanted to establish my private practice. Over the past decade, I've immersed myself in a world of reading and research, honing my skills and acquiring tools to help individuals transition from merely surviving to thriving. If you or someone you know is merely "getting by" right now, rest assured that my mission is to guide individuals toward flourishing. Throughout my life, I've been driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore the realms of philosophy, psychology, sociology, history, science, and spirituality. I've dedicated myself to understanding the interconnectedness of these facets of human existence and how they relate to our contemporary challenges as individuals and as a society. This curiosity led me to the field of social work and, ultimately, to the creation of my private practice. On this page, you can expect regular posts addressing topics related to well-being and the human condition. I invite you to engage, ask questions, and share your thoughts. Currently, I offer virtual counselling services to clients residing in Ontario. You can easily book a session through the website link on this page or contact me directly for a complimentary 20-minute consultation. Let's explore how I can assist you on your personal growth and well-being journey.

"Maybe the journey isn’t about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you.” — Paulo...
12/19/2025

"Maybe the journey isn’t about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you.” — Paulo Coelho

There is a tender kind of transformation that doesn’t come from striving, but from releasing what was never ours to carry. Sometimes the journey isn’t about building a new self, but about letting the old, the imposed, the expected, the prescribed, soften and fall away. In that quiet space, authenticity has room to breathe.

So many of us have been shaped by other people’s definitions of “capable,” “polite,” “productive,” or “normal.” Unbecoming can feel like rebellion, but it often feels more like coming home. When we let go of what the world demanded we become, we discover the version of ourselves we’ve been missing.
What are you gently unbecoming these days?

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”Lao TzuThere’s a quiet transformation that happens when we loosen...
12/17/2025

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”Lao Tzu

There’s a quiet transformation that happens when we loosen our grip on who we think we’re supposed to be. In the space created by letting go, expectations, roles, old narratives, a new and more aligned version of ourselves begins to take shape. Becoming isn’t forced; it naturally unfolds when we stop holding ourselves so tightly.

For many neurodivergent folks, our identities were shaped by years of compensating, masking, or striving to meet the world’s demands. Letting go can feel unfamiliar, but it opens room for authenticity to emerge. When we release what no longer fits, we make space for who we might yet become.

What are you gently releasing so you can grow into yourself?

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that ...
12/15/2025

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anais Nin

Some connections expand us in ways we never expected, revealing parts of ourselves that had been waiting for the right conditions to emerge. Each meaningful relationship becomes its own small universe, shaping us through presence, resonance, and shared understanding.

In the neurodivergent community, these relationships often feel like recognition: someone who speaks our language, senses the world similarly, or honours the parts we’ve long held quietly. Through these meeting points, new worlds open, ones made of safety, belonging, and mutual becoming.

What relationships in your life have helped new parts of you emerge?

Albert EinsteinSometimes the solutions we’re searching for can only emerge once we step outside the familiar patterns th...
12/12/2025

Albert Einstein

Sometimes the solutions we’re searching for can only emerge once we step outside the familiar patterns that created the problem in the first place. Growth often begins with a shift in perspective, a small widening, a new angle, a gentler lens. Change becomes possible when our thinking softens enough to make room for something new.

For many neurodivergent folks, we’ve been told to push harder rather than think differently. Yet our brains naturally generate alternative pathways, creative workarounds, and beautifully nonlinear ideas. When we honour that, we often discover solutions that only become visible once we stop forcing ourselves into old mental frameworks.

What new way of thinking has opened a door for you lately?

solving

“A man is great not because he hasn't failed; a man is great because failure hasn't stopped him.”   ConfuciusFailure isn...
12/10/2025

“A man is great not because he hasn't failed; a man is great because failure hasn't stopped him.” Confucius

Failure isn’t a reflection of our worth; it’s often a marker of courage. Every attempt, every stumble, every restart becomes part of the story of how we kept moving. Greatness isn’t the absence of difficulty; it’s the quiet resilience of continuing on, even when the path feels uneven or unclear.

For neurodivergent people, failure has often been misunderstood as laziness, lack of effort, or not meeting standards built for other brains. But when we look closely, we see persistence woven throughout our days: rethinking strategies, rebuilding routines, returning after burnout, trying again after overwhelm. That ongoing return is its own form of greatness.

Where have you surprised yourself by choosing to keep going?

“Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.” MoojiEmotions arrive like weather, sometimes soft, sometimes intense...
12/08/2025

“Feelings are just visitors. Let them come and go.” Mooji

Emotions arrive like weather, sometimes soft, sometimes intense, always shifting. When we remember that feelings are visitors rather than permanent states, we create space to observe them with compassion. They can move through us without becoming the whole story of who we are.

For neurodivergent people, feelings may show up with more intensity, urgency, or sensitivity. That doesn’t make them wrong or too much; it simply means our nervous systems speak loudly. When we give emotions permission to come and go, we honour ourselves without being consumed by the temporary storms.

Which feeling is asking to simply be noticed today?

“Long as men are not trained to withhold judgment in the absence of evidence, they will be led astray by cocksure prophe...
12/05/2025

“Long as men are not trained to withhold judgment in the absence of evidence, they will be led astray by cocksure prophets.” — Bertrand Russell

Critical thinking is one of the most powerful tools we have for navigating a noisy, opinion-driven world. When we rush to judgment without evidence, we become vulnerable to persuasion and groupthink. Learning to pause, to ask for proof before forming conclusions, isn’t cynicism; it’s discernment. For me, cultivating this pause has been part of my own growth. It’s taught me that wisdom often begins with the courage to say, I don’t know yet.

As a neurodivergent thinker, I’ve noticed how our literalness, attention to detail, and pattern recognition can make us strong at spotting inconsistencies. Yet many of us also know the social pressure to “go along,” even when something doesn’t add up. But skepticism is not rudeness, it’s responsibility. Asking questions and seeking evidence keeps both our minds and our communities anchored in truth.

Where could you replace assumption with investigation this week?

How can you model curiosity and evidence-based thinking in your circles?

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo EmersonThe way...
12/03/2025

“People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

The way we see the world often reveals as much about us as it does about the world itself. Our perceptions act like mirrors, reflecting our fears, values, hopes, and unhealed parts. I’ve learned that my reactions to people or situations often carry messages about what’s happening inside me. When I started looking inward with curiosity instead of criticism, my growth accelerated.

For me, coming to understand myself, to really increase my self-awareness, has been the foundation of my personal growth. My growth as a person has always been directly proportional to the growth in my self-understanding. Without awareness, how do we figure out the how to live? For neurodivergent people, our sensory and emotional filters shape how we experience reality, what feels safe, what feels overwhelming, what feels like home. Seeing perception as a reflection of our inner world helps us live more consciously and compassionately.

What recent judgment or reaction revealed something deeper about you?

How might recognizing that open the door to greater self-awareness?

“To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything.” — Anatole FranceFor me, I’ve found more joy in creating things th...
12/01/2025

“To know is nothing at all; to imagine is everything.” — Anatole France

For me, I’ve found more joy in creating things than in simply knowing them. Knowledge builds a foundationbut imagination breathes life into it. What we know gives structure; what we imagine gives meaning. Knowing things helps us cross silos, , but it’s imagination that transforms that knowing into something new, something alive. We use imagination to connect patterns, and solve problems in unique ways.

For neurodivergent minds, imagination often feels like home. Our ability to world-build, pattern-seeking, or see multiple futures at once isn’t just creativity, it’s a way of engaging deeply with life. When we let imagination lead, we move beyond what is toward what could be. And in that act of creation, we not only shape the world, we find joy in becoming more of ourselves.

Where can you let imagination lead you this week?

What small step could bring one of your ideas to life?

“Sometimes, carrying on—just carrying on—is the superhuman achievement.” — Albert CamusResilience isn’t about never fall...
11/28/2025

“Sometimes, carrying on—just carrying on—is the superhuman achievement.” — Albert Camus

Resilience isn’t about never falling, it’s about getting back up, again and again, even when it feels impossible. For many neurodivergent people, life often asks this of us more than most. The world isn’t built with our rhythms, needs, or sensitivities in mind, and yet we keep going. Sometimes carrying on—just doing the next thing—is the quiet act that changes the direction of our lives.

There’s courage in persistence. Every morning you rise despite exhaustion, every task you finish despite overwhelm, every time you learn from struggle instead of giving up—you are building resilience. Adversity can become a teacher when we stop asking why this is happening to me and start asking what can I learn from this? Even the smallest acts of perseverance matter. They shape who we become.

What small act of resilience deserves recognition today?

How can you honour your effort without judgment or comparison?

Address

Toronto/(Offer Virtual Services Only)
Toronto, ON
M2N7A9

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 5pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 10am - 6pm
Thursday 10am - 6pm
Friday 10am - 6pm

Telephone

+12892786272

Website

https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/

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