Becoming Yourself Counselling

Becoming Yourself Counselling My name is Michael Holker MSW RSW Registered Social Worker / Therapist; I offer services in Ontario

Greetings,

I'm Michael Holker, a Registered Social Worker/Therapist. My journey in social work began in 2015 when I completed my Bachelor of Social Work, followed by further education to earn my Master's in Social Work. My path to this point has been marked by what I like to call "fateful detours and wrong turns," but it has always been clear that I wanted to establish my private practice. Over t

he past decade, I've immersed myself in a world of reading and research, honing my skills and acquiring tools to help individuals transition from merely surviving to thriving. If you or someone you know is merely "getting by" right now, rest assured that my mission is to guide individuals toward flourishing. Throughout my life, I've been driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore the realms of philosophy, psychology, sociology, history, science, and spirituality. I've dedicated myself to understanding the interconnectedness of these facets of human existence and how they relate to our contemporary challenges as individuals and as a society. This curiosity led me to the field of social work and, ultimately, to the creation of my private practice. On this page, you can expect regular posts addressing topics related to well-being and the human condition. I invite you to engage, ask questions, and share your thoughts. Currently, I offer virtual counselling services to clients residing in Ontario. You can easily book a session through the website link on this page or contact me directly for a complimentary 20-minute consultation. Let's explore how I can assist you on your personal growth and well-being journey.

```Autistic burnout can feel endless when you’re in it — and it can still shift over time.This week we’re exploring how ...
05/01/2026

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Autistic burnout can feel endless when you’re in it — and it can still shift over time.

This week we’re exploring how capacity can return in small, uneven waves—and how to meet that with care.

If you’re in it right now, you’re allowed to take up time and space.

Read more here → The Ultimate Guide to Autistic Burnout—Signs & Recovery

https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/the-ultimate-guide-to-autistic-burnout?utm_source=fb_page&utm_medium=Becoming+Yourself+Counselling&utm_campaign=publer

More reflections on ADHD, Autism, and Giftedness live on the blog.

Share your thoughts in the comments or save for later reflection.



This post is for informational purposes and is not a substitute for therapy.
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Share your thoughts in the comments or save for later reflection.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

You’re not broken if your needs seem to clash.Many AuDHD adults live with real inner paradoxes. You may want stimulation...
05/01/2026

You’re not broken if your needs seem to clash.

Many AuDHD adults live with real inner paradoxes. You may want stimulation and structure. Spontaneity and predictability. Intimacy and solitude. The problem is not that your system is wrong. The problem is that most environments do not teach people how to make room for layered needs without shame.

When contradiction is misunderstood, people often become self-critical. They assume they are inconsistent, dramatic, or impossible to satisfy. But sometimes complexity is simply complexity.

The task is not to flatten yourself into one version that makes sense to everyone else. It is to learn the conditions under which your different needs can coexist more gently.

Which “contradiction” in you makes more sense now than it used to?

More reflections on ADHD, Autism, and Giftedness — stay connected with Becoming Yourself.

Check out AuDHD services offered at:
https://becomingyourself.com/audhd-therapy-in-ontario?utm_source=fb_page&utm_medium=Becoming+Yourself+Counselling&utm_campaign=publer

"

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

What no one tells you about executive dysfunction is that insight does not automatically create momentum.You can care de...
04/30/2026

What no one tells you about executive dysfunction is that insight does not automatically create momentum.

You can care deeply. You can understand the task. You can even want the outcome. And still feel completely unable to begin. That gap between knowing and starting is where so much shame grows for neurodivergent adults, especially the ones who have spent years being told they just need more discipline.

But difficulty initiating is not the same as indifference. Often it is a mix of overwhelm, friction, fatigue, perfectionism, and a nervous system already carrying too much.

The goal is not to shame yourself into motion. It is to reduce friction and build gentler entry points.

What helps you begin when your mind is ready, but your body still says not yet?

More reflections on ADHD, Autism, and Giftedness — stay connected with Becoming Yourself.



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

There is a quiet kind of courage in turning toward ourselves, especially when our story includes moments of confusion, s...
04/29/2026

There is a quiet kind of courage in turning toward ourselves, especially when our story includes moments of confusion, shame, or feeling out of place. Many of us learned to survive by editing who we are, minimizing parts of ourselves, or striving to become someone more acceptable. Over time, this can create distance between who we are and who we believe we need to be

For neurodivergent individuals, this often shows up through masking, self-doubt, or questioning our own needs and experiences. Owning our story does not mean approving of everything that has happened. It means recognizing that our experiences shaped us, and that we are allowed to meet ourselves with compassion rather than criticism. What begins to shift when we stop trying to rewrite our story and instead learn to understand it?

What part of your story have you struggled to accept or make sense of?

If this resonates, you’re welcome to reflect, share, or explore support on my website, https://becomingyourself.com?utm_source=fb_page&utm_medium=Becoming+Yourself+Counselling&utm_campaign=publer



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

What no one tells you about late diagnosis is that clarity can hurt.For many adults, new understanding brings relief, bu...
04/28/2026

What no one tells you about late diagnosis is that clarity can hurt.

For many adults, new understanding brings relief, but it also opens grief. You may look back at school, work, relationships, burnout, or the years spent forcing yourself into systems that never fit and feel the ache of what was missed. That does not mean the insight is wrong. It means it matters.

Late diagnosis can feel like meeting yourself and mourning for yourself at the same time. Both belong. You do not need to rush into positivity to prove you are coping well.

Sometimes the work is simply learning to hold both truths: I finally understand myself, and I wish I had known sooner.

What part of your story changed most once you had a new lens for it?

More reflections on ADHD, Autism, and Giftedness — stay connected with Becoming Yourself.

"

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

A lot of therapy still starts from the question, “How do we make you function better?”A neurodivergent-affirming approac...
04/28/2026

A lot of therapy still starts from the question, “How do we make you function better?”

A neurodivergent-affirming approach often asks something different: “What support helps you function with less strain?” That shift may sound subtle, but it can change everything. It affects how sensory overwhelm is understood, how executive functioning struggles are framed, and whether masking is treated as success, cost, or both. It also changes whether therapy feels like collaboration or correction.

For many neurodivergent adults, especially those identified later in life, care feels safer when comfort, consent, and accommodation are centred rather than compliance.

What difference do you notice between support that helps you cope and support that actually fits your brain?

To learn more about services at Becoming Yourself, see the link Below:

https://becomingyourself.com/neurodiversity-affirming-therapy-ontario?utm_source=fb_page&utm_medium=Becoming+Yourself+Counselling&utm_campaign=publer



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

Why do I want closeness and then feel desperate for space?For many neurodivergent adults, that push-pull is not hypocris...
04/27/2026

Why do I want closeness and then feel desperate for space?

For many neurodivergent adults, that push-pull is not hypocrisy. It is complexity. You may genuinely long for connection, resonance, and being understood. You may also become socially saturated, overwhelmed by demands, or exhausted from monitoring yourself in relationships. Both experiences can be true in the same nervous system.

This is where so many people turn on themselves. They call themselves difficult, inconsistent, or too much. But often what is needed is not self-judgment. It is better language, clearer pacing, and relationships that can hold nuance.

You are allowed to need depth and distance. Attachment and recovery. Warmth and room.

What helps you stay connected without abandoning your need for space?

More reflections on ADHD, Autism, and Giftedness — stay connected with Becoming Yourself.



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

“Neuro-friendly” sounds reassuring, but it does not tell you much by itself.A therapist may use the right words online a...
04/24/2026

“Neuro-friendly” sounds reassuring, but it does not tell you much by itself.

A therapist may use the right words online and still approach therapy in ways that feel rigid, corrective, or subtly shaming once you begin. That distinction matters for neurodivergent adults, especially if you are navigating masking, burnout, sensory strain, executive functioning challenges, or a late diagnosis that has changed how you understand yourself.

This article explores the difference between care that focuses on compliance and care that centres on accommodation, collaboration, and respect for your nervous system and processing style.

What question do you wish more people asked before booking a therapist?



To Read More, Click on the Link Here:
https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/choose-neurodivergent-affirming-therapist

Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

Sometimes the most important shift is moving from “What is wrong with me?” to “What do I need?”The first question often ...
04/24/2026

Sometimes the most important shift is moving from “What is wrong with me?” to “What do I need?”

The first question often sends people toward shame, self-correction, and overcompensation. The second opens the door to understanding, accommodation, and more realistic support. It does not erase struggle, but it can change your relationship to it. Instead of assuming you are the problem, you begin getting curious about fit, context, capacity, and what actually helps.

For many neurodivergent adults, that shift is where healing starts to feel more honest and less punishing.

Which question do you notice yourself asking more often when things get hard: self-judgment or self-understanding?

Read the blog here on How to choose a neuro-affirming therapist:

https://becomingyourself.com/onbecomingyourself/choose-neurodivergent-affirming-therapist?utm_source=fb_page&utm_medium=Becoming+Yourself+Counselling&utm_campaign=publer



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

Good fit in therapy is not a luxury. It shapes the work.For neurodivergent adults, a therapist’s pacing, language, flexi...
04/23/2026

Good fit in therapy is not a luxury. It shapes the work.

For neurodivergent adults, a therapist’s pacing, language, flexibility, and sensory awareness can affect whether sessions feel grounding, confusing, or quietly draining. You should not have to spend half your energy translating your own experience into something a clinician will believe. That kind of effort can recreate the same strain many people are already carrying outside the room.

Fit is not about finding a perfect person. It is about finding a space where you feel respected, collaborated with, and less likely to leave feeling managed.

What is one green flag that tells you a therapist may actually be a good fit for you?



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

Many neurodivergent adults learned early that some truths were safer to hide than explain.Over time, that can turn into ...
04/22/2026

Many neurodivergent adults learned early that some truths were safer to hide than explain.

Over time, that can turn into masking, minimizing, rehearsing, or staying silent to avoid being misunderstood. When that happens long enough, it can become hard to tell the difference between privacy, protection, and disconnection from yourself. Therapy should not force those hidden parts into the open before safety is there.

But the right therapeutic space can make it easier to bring more of yourself into the room without feeling rushed, corrected, or managed. For many people, being understood happens gradually, through enough consistency and care that the untold parts no longer have to stay buried just to feel safe.

What helped you feel safe enough to be more honest about your inner world?



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

A late diagnosis is often much more than a label.For many adults, it reshapes how they understand burnout, relationships...
04/21/2026

A late diagnosis is often much more than a label.

For many adults, it reshapes how they understand burnout, relationships, self-criticism, work patterns, and the effort it took to keep functioning for so long. What some people called “high functioning” may have involved years of masking, compensating, and pushing past capacity. That is one reason many people start looking for a neurodivergent-affirming therapist after identification. They are not only looking for coping strategies. They are also looking for context, language, and relief from shame.

Good therapy cannot rewrite the past, but it can help you understand it differently and build something more sustainable going forward.

What shifted most for you when you began seeing your history through a neurodivergent lens?



Neurodiversity-affirming therapy for adults who identify with ADHD, Autism, AuDHD and Giftedness or 2e in Ontario. Virtual appointments available.

These reflections are for informational purposes and are not a substitute for therapy.

Address

Toronto/(Offer Virtual Services Only)
Toronto, ON
M2N7A9

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 5pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 10am - 6pm
Thursday 10am - 6pm
Friday 10am - 6pm

Telephone

+12892786272

Website

https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/

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