Becoming Yourself Counselling

Becoming Yourself Counselling My name is Michael Holker MSW RSW Registered Social Worker / Therapist; I offer services in Ontario

Greetings,

I'm Michael Holker, a Registered Social Worker/Therapist. My journey in social work began in 2015 when I completed my Bachelor of Social Work, followed by further education to earn my Master's in Social Work. My path to this point has been marked by what I like to call "fateful detours and wrong turns," but it has always been clear that I wanted to establish my private practice. Over the past decade, I've immersed myself in a world of reading and research, honing my skills and acquiring tools to help individuals transition from merely surviving to thriving. If you or someone you know is merely "getting by" right now, rest assured that my mission is to guide individuals toward flourishing. Throughout my life, I've been driven by an insatiable curiosity to explore the realms of philosophy, psychology, sociology, history, science, and spirituality. I've dedicated myself to understanding the interconnectedness of these facets of human existence and how they relate to our contemporary challenges as individuals and as a society. This curiosity led me to the field of social work and, ultimately, to the creation of my private practice. On this page, you can expect regular posts addressing topics related to well-being and the human condition. I invite you to engage, ask questions, and share your thoughts. Currently, I offer virtual counselling services to clients residing in Ontario. You can easily book a session through the website link on this page or contact me directly for a complimentary 20-minute consultation. Let's explore how I can assist you on your personal growth and well-being journey.

“You have no friends. You have no enemies. You only have teachers.” — Buddhist ProverbWhen I began to see everything as ...
11/19/2025

“You have no friends. You have no enemies. You only have teachers.” — Buddhist Proverb

When I began to see everything as a lesson, my resentment started to soften. What once felt like obstacles became opportunities to learn. Turning everyone and everything into my teacher shifted me from defensiveness to curiosity. Acceptance taught me that reality doesn’t always bend to my will, but I can choose how I meet it. Every challenge became fertile ground for wisdom, and over time, I started gaining skills in places I once believed I couldn’t change.

This mindset has been life-changing. For neurodivergent people, so often misunderstood or misinterpreted, seeing others as teachers can transform conflict into data, and pain into insight. The colleague who misreads your tone might be teaching boundary clarity; the person who truly listens might be teaching safety and belonging. When we let curiosity replace resentment, growth often follows.

Which recent challenge offered you an unexpected lesson?

How might your next interaction become a classroom for growth?

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” — Ernest HemingwayResili...
11/17/2025

“Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.” — Ernest Hemingway

Resilience often begins with resourcefulness—choosing to work with what we do have rather than focusing on what’s missing. I’ve learned that when I stop saying, “I can’t because I don’t have ___,” and start reframing it to, “I might not have ___, but I do have ___,” doors begin to open. Living by our values, even in less-than-ideal circumstances, builds both strength and creativity.

For many neurodivergent individuals, divergent thinking becomes our superpower here. We innovate, adapt, and create new paths from unconventional materials and ideas—whether it’s crafting sensory-friendly spaces, building systems that support executive functioning, or reimagining routines to suit our rhythm. Life doesn’t hand any of us an easy script, but we can keep becoming ourselves by using what’s available and letting our creativity guide the way forward.

What overlooked resource could help you move forward today?

How can constraint spark creativity in your current challenge?

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.” — Alan WattsGrowth is an ongoing process o...
11/15/2025

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.” — Alan Watts

Growth is an ongoing process of maturation, an unfolding, not a finish line. We evolve as we learn, heal, and set new boundaries. Yet, many people struggle when we change, especially when those changes come with limits they weren’t used to. But boundaries are often information: they show where growth is happening and where old dynamics no longer fit.

You are not obligated to remain who you once were. Reinvention isn’t betrayal, it’s becoming. For neurodivergent individuals, this can mean discovering new interests, adopting different coping tools, or redefining what feels safe and fulfilling. Each shift is a step toward authenticity, even if it confuses those still attached to your past self. Change is proof you’re alive and still becoming.

What small shift feels aligned with who you are now?

Who in your life needs to know that change is not a threat, but a sign of growth?

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” — Leo TolstoyAt some point, we realize t...
11/13/2025

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” — Leo Tolstoy

At some point, we realize that no one is coming to change our life for us. It’s our choices—our agency—that begin to shift the path ahead. Yet, even with agency, not every circumstance can be changed. That’s why compassion and kindness toward ourselves matter just as much as action. Change begins in the quiet moments when we decide to meet ourselves differently.

If you’ve ever tried to change your own habits, you know how hard it is—so it’s no wonder changing the world feels impossible at times. For neurodivergent people, growth often looks like self-acceptance: honouring pacing, sensory needs, or unique ways of communicating. Every time we live authentically, we create ripples of change simply by existing as ourselves. The revolution often begins within.

What inner shift could amplify your outer impact?

What small, self-compassionate step can you take today?

“Anyone can carry his burden … for one day. And this is all life really means.” — Robert Louis StevensonA lot of life ca...
11/11/2025

“Anyone can carry his burden … for one day. And this is all life really means.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

A lot of life can be managed one day at a time—and sometimes, that’s the wisest way to live. In recovery circles like AA, one day at a time isn’t just a saying, it’s a lifeline. Thinking about forever can feel impossible, but focusing on today makes things manageable. I’ve learned that this mindset applies far beyond sobriety. Whether it’s grief, burnout, pain, or overwhelm, we can often get through the next 24 hours, even when the bigger picture feels unbearable.

For many neurodivergent minds, the future can feel like an avalanche of expectations. Scaling life down to just today, a single sticky note, one priority, one breath, creates calm. Tomorrow’s load will wait. Today’s effort is enough. Each small act of staying present becomes a quiet declaration of resilience.

What burden feels lighter when you limit it to just today?

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to esteem those who think alike over those who think differently.” — Friedrich Nie...
11/08/2025

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to esteem those who think alike over those who think differently.” — Friedrich Nietzsche

Thinking differently is how humanity moves forward. Every breakthrough, every innovation, every meaningful shift in society has come from someone who refused to conform. Conformity might keep the peace, but it’s difference that propels evolution. When we silence divergent thinkers, we trade progress for comfort.

Neurodivergent minds are often the ones seeing what others overlook, connecting patterns, asking better questions, imagining new ways of being. Diversity of thought doesn’t just enrich conversation; it sustains growth. When we create space for difference, we create space for advancement.

How do you invite and value differing perspectives in your world?

Where could more divergent thinking spark growth and innovation?

“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” — Angela DavisAgency is...
11/06/2025

“I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.” — Angela Davis

Agency is the heartbeat of well-being. When we feel powerless, life begins to shrink around us—but the moment we reclaim choice, something shifts. I’ve learned that agency isn’t just about control; it’s about recognizing that even small choices—how we respond, what we speak up for, where we place our energy—can reawaken our sense of possibility.

When we start changing the things we can’t accept, we are stepping into our agency. That’s often where transformation begins, not with grand gestures, but with a single decision that says, I matter here. For neurodivergent people, exercising agency might mean advocating for accessibility, setting boundaries, or simply allowing ourselves to exist as we are. Each act of agency reminds us that meaning and growth come from the freedom to choose our own path.

Where in your life are you ready to reclaim choice?

What small act of agency could become your launching pad for change?

“You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you’re coming out the other side.” — Chinese ProverbWhen we’re in...
11/04/2025

“You can only go halfway into the darkest forest; then you’re coming out the other side.” — Chinese Proverb

When we’re in the middle of struggle, it’s hard to see that we’re already halfway out. I’ve learned that resilience isn’t about never falling—it’s about continuing to walk, even when you can’t yet see the light. Every small act of care, every moment of rest, every boundary held is a quiet step toward daylight.

For many neurodivergent people, burnout or emotional exhaustion can feel endless. But even in the darkest forest, there’s a turning point, a moment when healing begins, often before we realize it. Sometimes, it’s not about pushing harder, but shifting perspective: you’ve already made it halfway through. Keep walking. The path forward is unfolding beneath your feet.

What signs remind you you’re already moving toward the light?

Who helps you keep perspective when you can’t see it yourself?

“Whenever two people meet, there are six people present…” — William JamesEvery interaction is more crowded than it appea...
10/31/2025

“Whenever two people meet, there are six people present…” — William James

Every interaction is more crowded than it appears. There’s who I think I am, who you think I am, who I really am—and the same three versions of you. Recognizing this changed how I understood relationships. It helped me see that so much of our connection depends on perception, interpretation, and the quiet stories we tell ourselves about each other.

For those of us who are neurodivergent, this awareness can be freeing. Misunderstandings often happen not because we lack empathy, but because the layers between intention and perception are thick. When I began naming my intentions out loud and gently checking assumptions, I noticed fewer disconnects and more authenticity. The six people became closer to two, two humans simply trying to understand each other.

Which version of you tends to show up first in new interactions?

What helps your most authentic self come forward sooner?

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” — Mark TwainFor years, my pattern recognition, a s...
10/29/2025

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” — Mark Twain

For years, my pattern recognition, a strength in many ways, was hijacked by worry. I could spot every potential problem, every possible “what if.” But when I began tracking how often those worries didn’t come true, I started to see the conspiracy theory my mind was spinning about myself. The evidence was clear: most of what I feared never actually happened.

That realization changed my relationship with worry. I began to remind myself, worry when the problem arises. That simple, stoic shift allowed me to suspend anxiety instead of feeding it. I could note my worry thoughts without reacting to them, reinforcing how often life resolved itself without my intervention. Worry, in moderation, can guide preparation and planning—but when it takes over, it paralyzes us and drains joy from the present moment.

Which worry are you ready to release today?

What evidence reminds you that reality is often kinder than fear predicts?

“The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” — Carl JungFor a long time, I ...
10/27/2025

“The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.” — Carl Jung

For a long time, I wondered if anything truly mattered. But when I found my purpose—when I began creating meaning through the work and care I offered the world, everything changed. Life filled with more light, more joy, and a deeper sense of direction. Instead of drifting through the thought that nothing matters, I discovered what does. Meaning became my compass, and through it, my life took shape.

Each of us carries a light, our creativity, curiosity, and compassion. For neurodivergent minds, that light often shines through deep passions, inventive solutions, or the courage to think differently. When we share it, we don’t just express ourselves, we illuminate the path for others.

What light do you naturally bring into the world?

Where could that light be needed most today?

Embracing our unique paths, we discover the beauty in our neurodivergent journeys. Each step, whether small or grand, is...
10/27/2025

Embracing our unique paths, we discover the beauty in our neurodivergent journeys. Each step, whether small or grand, is a testament to our resilience and creativity. Let Your Uniqueness Breath!

In a world that often asks for conformity, let's celebrate our authenticity and the strength that lies within it. How do you honour your own path today?

Address

Toronto/(Offer Virtual Services Only)
Toronto, ON
M2N7A9

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 5pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 10am - 6pm
Thursday 10am - 6pm
Friday 10am - 6pm

Telephone

+12892786272

Website

https://becomingyourself.janeapp.com/

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