12/11/2019
10 WAYS WE DON’T LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE
Are you listening mindfully while communicating? Here are 10 common ways we block ourselves from being fully present during conversations. Don’t worry, we all do many of them! See which of these blocks you find yourself doing most often. Use your next interaction with a human being as an opportunity to listen deeper.
Rehearsing
While someone else is talking, you are preparing what you are going to say next.
Comparing
You are comparing yourself to the speaker: who is smarter? who is better looking?, who is more successful?
Mind Reading
Have you ever thought to yourself, “I know exactly what they are really thinking”? For example, “They probably think I’m dumb… He thinks I’m not doing a good job...She’s turned off by my confusion”
Being Right
You. Are. Right. You will defend it to the death.
Judging
When you label someone as crazy, unqualified, or unimportant, you don’t give much attention to what they are saying. You’ve already written them off.
Dreaming
The person says a word or phrase that triggers a personal association you have, and off you go into daydream land.
Identifying
This is when you take what the person is sharing and refer it back to yourself. For example, if someone talks about heartbreak, you talk about your last heartbreak, if someone talks about an exam, you talk about your exams, if someone talks about a trip, you take this opportunity to talk about your trips.
Placating
Nodding your head yes to everything they say. You agree with everything they say so that you seem like a nice person. You are placating rather than tuning in and examining what is actually being said.
Sparring
Some folks like to play the devil’s advocate and get a kick out of people’s flustered reaction. This is used as a block to fully listening to the other person.
Advising
In this block, you are ready to solve the problem. You have just the right essential oil, piece of wisdom, book, song, psychiatrist... to fix whatever problem is being shared.
All the while, what the person may really need is someone to listen.