HyggeMama

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HyggeMama

Prenatal consultation and Postpartum in-home care in Toronto. Nurturing the well-being of your growing family. We all deserve that time and space.

The idea of hygge is what I wish for everyone who has just had a baby. Hygge (pronounced hu-guh) is a Danish word with no precise English translation, denoting a sense of cozy, warm, fun, safe -- a feeling of wholeness, in which all needs are met. Supporting hygge in the early postpartum is an age-old practice spanning cultures across the globe. Traditionally this caregiver role would have been filled by mothers, sisters, aunties and cousins. In this day and age though, we don’t tend to live as close to our families, and we are all busier, and may lack the sense of family and community that we would ideally have to nurture a mother (or gestational parent) while she puts everything she has into nurturing the tiny new being that she’s birthed forth into the outside world. Thus, the need for a postpartum doula – a non-clinical care provider with the knowledge and experience to make this transition with your sweet new baby cozier, safer, more peaceful, more fun. The love I received in the first few weeks after my child was born allowed me the space to rest and heal myself, nurse her whenever she needed, and delight in her long-awaited presence in my home and my life forevermore. I would love to help create hygge for you.

09/24/2020

Dear ones. Where can you soften with yourself? With others? What do you need to make that happen?
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I know I’ve been quiet of late. My mind and energies have been elsewhere. Things are brewing though, and when they’re ready to be shared, I hope you’ll be there for them.

07/24/2020

We are still doing this.
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When she was little, I posted all the time because I wanted to do my part to normalize breastfeeding. I loved this connection with my tiny human, and was thrilled that it had come easily for us in spite of my previous breast surgery.
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I have always understood it to be her favourite thing in the whole world, which is why, when I tried to start weaning her on her 3rd birthday, it did not go so well. That was November 2018, and we’ve had many ups and downs on our nursing journey since. Lots of emotions for both of us. Lots of boundary testing. Noticing that none of my kid’s peers were nursing anymore (that I knew of, at least). Many times when I was determined to be done with it, because I wasn’t enjoying it anymore, because I was convinced it was (is) a reason that I’ve been struggling with my sleep and my hormonal health. (And maybe it is, at least in part.) I consulted with multiple lactation consultants/fellow midwives/naturopathic doctors/therapists/attachment specialists with the idea in (my) mind that I could convince her that she didn’t need “mup” anymore. She was never (never) convinced.
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We’ve been down to just nursing at bedtime for a long while now. I was pretty clear that 4.5 was a good time to stop, but then the date came and went.... The pandemic has impacted us in many ways, but I’ve been feeling in these last few months that this bedtime breastfeeding is something we both need for comfort and grounding. So for now, there’s no longer a cut off date. Just this rare , and the sharing of it with the intention to normalize something that’s even less popular than publicly breastfeeding an infant or toddler in this day and age.

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07/15/2020

I’ve been working on a thing. I think it might be an e-book. And this might be the cover. It’s about 25 pages and growing, with a number of “worksheets” to make the plan your own.
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It’s about, as you may well know already, a topic that is very near and dear to me: wellness. An informed postpartum. A supported postpartum. An empowered postpartum.
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So tell me, if you’re pregnant right now, what are you concerned about for the time once baby arrives? Or if you’ve experienced a fourth trimester yourself, what was a particularly valuable lesson or resource for you? What did your support people do that was particularly wonderful (or particularly unwonderful)? I want to be sure this guide is helpful and inclusive, without causing overwhelm.
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This research and writing project is particularly exciting to me because is been a while since I created something that felt meaningful, and it’s been satisfying to put my focus here. I’ll keep you posted on its development.

***rpregnancy

07/06/2020

☀️ SUMMER SUCKLING 💦
We all need additional hydration when it’s hot out and we’re sweating. For breastfeeding/ chestfeeding parent/babe dyads, as well as formula-fed bubs, there are a few things to consider.
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Babies receiving human milk don’t need to be supplemented with water when it’s hot out, because breastmilk is a natural electrolyte drink! Coming directly from the source (ie. not pre-pumped), milk will actually adapt to be more hydrating (higher water content) in hot weather. (Bodies are so smart!) Just be sure that baby has free access to nurse as often as they need. (You must remember though, you’re drinking for two, so keep that water, coconut water, or naturally sweetened lemonade - I like to sweeten with apple juice or just a small splash of maple syrup - on hand!) Signs of dehydration include a feeling of thirst, headache and irritability. In young infants
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Choose a shady spot for nursing, and if it's very sweaty between the two of you, wipe down with a dry towel as needed. Do your best to stay out of the sun between 11am and 3pm. A baby bath set up in a shady backyard can be a sweet relief for your little one, or for you to plunge your feet into.
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Formula-fed babies do need to drink extra water when it's hot out, so always keep a fresh sippy cup handy! In order to avoid chlorine intake, I am a big fan of families investing in a simple home water filtration system, like the installation of a carbon block filter, a countertop system, or most simply and inexpensively, a pitcher kept in the fridge. Be sure to adhere to the maintenance guidelines for your filter to ensure its safety.
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How are you all doing? Any other strategies for staying happy and cool while baby-feeding in the heat?

06/29/2020

Solo-mama-in-the-city brain during a pandemic. Just in case you were wondering.

06/28/2020

❤️🧡💛 LIBERATION FOR ALL, my loves. 💚💙💜
Here’s to more in our celebrations with a greater awareness of the roots of this movement. The Stonewall Riots, fighting back against police brutality, is how the 2SLGBTQ+ Pride movement began in 1969 New York City, and Marsha P. Johnson (who was Black and Trans; see second image) and Sylvia Rivera (who was Latinx and Trans) were the helmswomen. You can’t have true Pride without centring Transfolx.
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Here’s to Q***r families in their many shapes and sizes, fiercely loving their littles and still working hard for adequate representation in picture books, kids TV shows and movies, on medical/daycare/school forms, and within their own families. If you’d share your favourite q***r fam IG accounts, picture books and other resources for families with young kiddos below, I’d love that. 🌈
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✍️ 1st image by .ink ; 🎨 2nd image by 🙌

06/23/2020

My 4 year old woke me three times between the hours of 3 and 6:40 this morning, so my offering today is simply this resonant quote from the wise and wonderful , author of *The Body is not an Apology*. ❤️ I suggested the other week that you go follow her, and in case you missed it, I’m suggesting it again! 🙌

06/21/2020

IT’S FATHERS DAY // I’M THE KIND OF PERSON WHO GIFTS BOOKS MORE OFTEN THAN I DON’T 📚 ❤️ 📚
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If there was a father in my life that I was going to gift today, I’d gift them one or more of these titles by (mostly) BIPOC authors who are (mostly) dads. I encourage you to look up these books, these authors, and support your local indie bookstore! (Or really anywhere that’s not Amazon.).

06/20/2020

THINK OF THE MOTHERS. 💔
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The mothers, whose children have died as a result of and the underlying , have been on my mind these past few weeks. I will never know what it’s like to experience racism, but I do know what it’s like to grow an entire human in my belly, to labour through blood, sweat and tears in order to bring her into the world, and the countless (and often thankless) hours over the years that it takes to raise her up. The hopes I have for her as she comes into her own, the dreams I have for her to have a long, healthy and fulfilling life are many. I do not know what it is like to live with the fear that just because of the colour of my child’s skin, she is more likely to die at the hands of government-funded (over-funded) employees who are supposed to keep our communities safe. But I can imagine it must be terrifying. Traumatizing.
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This afternoon I compiled just a small list of mothers who have lost their Black children (whether they were still children when they lost them, or if they were adult, each victim was someone’s baby). I was inspired to do so after reading the article “Mothers of Black Americans killed by police speak out: ‘Nothing’s changed’”.
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It’s clear to me that using my platform for mothers must include on-going engagement about race in the hopes that with awareness, education, and activism, fewer BIPOC mothers have to manage this brutal life-changing grief in the future. Fellow perinatal business folx, please tell me you’re planning to do the same.
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Last 📷 is of and her poster with a sentiment that has since gone viral. 🙌

06/19/2020

Meet Zora, Quan Yin, and Lakshmi. 👩🏿‍🦱👧🏻👧🏽
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Zora was handmade in the Waldorf style of doll making by . Quan Yin was an unnamed hand-me-down (and has been my 4 year-old’s favourite doll from the jump), and Lakshmi I picked up from an independent toy store — they’re both made by . Zora is named for the late great author Zora Neale Hurston, Quan Yin for the Chinese goddess of compassion, and Lakshmi for the Hindu goddess of good fortune.
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Ensuring that almost every doll I ever got my kid represented a different ethnic background than our own was one of the very least things I could do to promote the value of diversity in my family. And it wasn’t as easy as it should have been. My mum and I hunted for BIPOC dolls. Our local toy shops, big and small, were hit and miss. I could never find non-white dolls at Costco, but my mum found some at Walmart (which I boycott for socioeconomic reasons).
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I will confess that when my kid’s Black ECEs in the toddler room approached me laughing about their surprise that when the big basket of plastic babies came out, Juniper generally gravitated to the darker-skinned ones, I was pleased. I hoped it meant that she was interested in diversity in spite of the fact that her family of origin and most of her classmates are of European ancestry.
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I gotta tell you, I had to sit on this post for a few days because I don’t want it to read as self-congratulatory, or performative (I’ve shared a great post about this by in my stories). I want to share to encourage you do to the same for the kids in your life (if you haven’t already) and to say that acts of can be big and small, but when it comes to parenting conscientiously, we can always do more. Because even if we don’t deliberately teach it, the messages of the capitalist, white supremacist patriarchy are pervasive, and your kid’s gonna pick up on them anyway. And “white = normal,” and “non-white = other” is not the standard I envision for our future.

06/08/2020

Last week was not the time for white people to speak. It was the time for those of us who are white to mute ourselves - our content, our thoughts and opinions - and . It’s a real kicker to me that a lot of white people decided to take up space with their own stuff, but maybe they didn’t get the message from that to me appeared very widely circulated.
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I took a lot of joy in being introduced to 100s of IG accounts I was previously unaware of, and my social media feed is richer for it.
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I’m committed to amplifying these voices in even better ways than these utilitarian lists going forward, because effective movements are about ongoing change, not momentary blips on our privileged radars.
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Above is a list of 20 Instagram accounts of non-Black people and organizations with multi-ethnic staff that I’ve been inspired by for some time now. Their voices are not a substitute for what Black people have to share directly, but they’re still pretty inspirational. Of course, there are tons more. I’d love to hear some of your recommendations. ❤️

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Toronto, ON
M6R2E7

Website

http://hyggemama.ca/

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