10/31/2025
THE PAIN IS HEALING ME
THE HEALING IS KILLING ME
a very silent scream
horrifyingly relatable
subtle malaise of a housewife
prisoner in my own home
preyed upon in my bed, shower, kitchen
christian wife killer prescription
primal screams
unearthly roars
predator and prey
invisible scars
uncontrollable gags
a tidal wave of tears
sexual assault
devoured, consumed, destroyed
stripped of sweetness
dead girl walking
leave it all? or go make dinner…
champagne, psilocybin, SSRIs, va**ng into the void
i want to die
but every morning i rise
i stand
i light a candle
surrounded by the ghosts of a million women
whispering
eerily guiding me
do it for you, Sarah
do it for us all
you’re going to be okay
i barely believe them
but i must
continue to claw
scrape and survive
flowers, herbs, water, salt, and oil become my comforts
seeking safety within my own skin
you must feel something
you must live
you must run from this place
fly free
dance into the sea of wildflowers
away from the wolves
into unfamiliar heavens, forests, oceans
a golden light
a warmth
a hum
shhh
shhhhh
hush little baby
don’t say a word
mommy’s here