12/25/2025
Abusive disabled people also exist.
This isn’t coming from hatred or a lack of understanding. It comes from lived experience.
Being disabled does not automatically mean someone is a good person who will never do harm.
Disability also does NOT give anyone some free pass to act entitled, rude, scare people, act violent or aggressive or any type of abusive, whether it be physical or mental. No no no.
IT does NOT excuse those behaviors, because in the real world, accountability still matters!!!
Disability can help explain WHY someone struggles with communication, emotional regulation, or social situations.
BUT it does not automatically excuse harmful or abusive behavior.
Autistic people aren’t a single experience or personality type. They’re individuals, with the same range of behaviors, intentions, and impacts as anyone else does.
It’s also not inherently ableist to wonder whether autism or another mental health condition could be a factor when someone shows persistent toxic or abusive behavior, especially when there is a pattern, things like lack of support: no diagnosis, or they are diagnosed but without any therapy, no routine, no consistent care, and no regulation tools. Those gaps can contribute to harmful patterns.
That context can explain how behavior develops.
It does not excuse it.
And sometimes, behavior has nothing to do with disability at all!
Sometimes a person is just an as***le behaving like an idiot lol.
But questioning behavior is not the same as condemning a whole community.
Naming harm is not discrimination.
You can acknowledge disability and still hold people accountable for abusive actions.
Both things can be true at the same time.
Abusive disabled people still need to face consequences for their actions.
That may be harder for them, and sure, that reality deserves consideration, but there comes a point where intent does not outweigh impact.
What matters is the harm done to the people on the receiving end.
Treating abuse purely as a “mental health issue” simply because the person is disabled is dangerous. It doesn’t stop the harm. It enables it.
It hurts families.
It hurts communities.
And I’m living the consequences of that failure firsthand.
Compassion without accountability is not compassion.
It is permission.
And the people paying the price are always the victims.
Signed,
a diagnosed autistic, Adhd, cptsd, clinically depressed survivor of abuse by an autistic family member
Also, Merry Christmas Eve everyone !🎄🧑🏻🎄🎁
(Unfortunately PTSD doesn’t take holidays off, so this is where my brain is tonight… it has absolutely no chill or respect for holiday scheduling 🙄 lol)
