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thebraincoach, Vancouver, BC (2026)

02/10/2026

Before you say ‘both sides are boundaries’, I invite you to hear me out. A boundary is about communicating your needs and limits in a way that prioritizes your well-being. On the other hand, statements that attempt to dictate what someone else should or shouldn’t do can be ineffective, as they shift the focus away from your own agency and onto controlling the other person’s actions “Stop asking me personal questions” or “Don’t call me when I’m at work” are framed as commands. While they may seem clear, they place the responsibility for change on the other person, which often leads to defensiveness

People don’t like feeling controlled, and these statements come across as attempts to dictate their behavior. This approach makes it harder to maintain a respectful relationship dynamic

In contrast, boundaries that focus on your actions and choices are far more effective. So, instead of saying,
“Stop asking me personal questions,” you could say, “I’m not ready to talk about this yet, it’s too personal.” This statement shifts the focus to your own feelings and needs. Similarly, “I can’t answer your calls during work hours because I lose focus” is much more effective than “Don’t call me when I’m at work.” These statements clarify what you will or won’t do, rather than telling the other person what they must do. This approach feels less like a demand and more like an expression of self-respect, which increases the likelihood that others will respect it too

If you’re not particularly concerned about the relationship, then sure, you might use statements like the ones on the left. Plus, some people take politeness for granted and need to be communicated with more harshly so these statements may be better. If you do care about the relationship or want to be mindful of the other person’s feelings, it doesn’t take much more effort to communicate your boundary in a kinder, more respectful tone. This approach still gets your message across, but it also lowers the chances of backlash or misunderstanding

Reposting this older post because we can all use a reminder on boundaries every now and then 😌

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

02/07/2026

I created this series because self-sabotage is something I see all the time and something I have to catch in myself too

For example, a few years ago, I had career goals that mattered to me, but I kept telling myself, “now isn’t the right time.” I wanted to feel more ready, have more stability, get my ideas completely organized and perfected. Then I blinked and three years had passed. I’m all about doing things at my own pace, but here I had to also face the reality that my pace was slowing down because I was getting in my own way

There are so many ways we sabotage our growth: delaying, overthinking, staying comfortable even when we want more. Self-sabotage often feels protective. It gives you the illusion of safety by keeping you away from unfamiliar territory, but it also keeps you stuck.

This fits with approach–avoidance theory: when your nervous system is more focused on reducing perceived threat than moving toward your goals, avoidance wins.

The purpose of this series is to help you notice where you might be sabotaging yourself so you can start making choices that may feel harder in the moment but will immensely benefit you in the long term

Take care of your mind and body. Sending lots of love your way,

Nawal ♥️

02/06/2026

Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving our goals. It is an act of self-betrayal where we convince ourselves that we don’t really want the things that we know (deep down) will benefit us.

Which one of these self-sabotaging behaviors do you want to work on most?

I’ll be unpacking this topic more in my next newsletter, including evidence-based strategies for breaking specific self-sabotaging patterns. Comment
‘newsletter’ to sign up

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

02/04/2026

I’ll be unpacking this more in my next newsletter, including practical strategies for breaking specific self-sabotaging patterns. Comment ‘newsletter’ to sign up 🤍

Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of achieving our goals. It is an act of self-betrayal where we convince ourselves that we don’t really want the things that we know (deep down) will benefit us.

Which one of these self-sabotaging behaviors do you want to work on most?

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

selflove

01/30/2026

Right now, many of us are feeling deep grief, anger, and generally dysregulated. It’s warranted. It is important to educate ourselves, raise awareness, and take action in whatever capacity we can. And I think it is equally important to also try our best to take care of our own well being so we don’t collapse to the point of emotional burnout.

Reposting this because it lists out a few ways that can make a difference in helping you feel a bit more grounded and resilient during this time. I hope this helps in some small way

Take care of your mind and body

Love, Nawal ♥️

01/25/2026

Our emotions carry important information, but sometimes our feelings can turn into barriers to the very things we want to achieve. For example, when you decide to try something new or step outside your comfort zone, it’s completely normal for initial excitement to shift into self-doubt or anxiety. If you allow those feelings to fully guide your decisions, you may end up feeling stuck, never trying at all, or giving up halfway through. In moments like this, the goal isn’t to ignore the feeling, but to acknowledge it, name it, and then choose not to let it be the deciding factor. You move forward anyway and do what you set out to do.

Another example is the emotional weight many of us are carrying in response to the current political climate. Like me, you may be feeling angry, disappointed, or anxious. These are heavy, valid emotions that deserve acknowledgment. At the same time, my advice is to be mindful of not letting them completely paralyze you. When possible, step back from constant news exposure, continue caring for yourself, and stay engaged in the parts of your life that require your attention. This matters because when distress goes unchecked, it tends to amplify even more.

Take care of your mind and your body.
Love, Nawal ♥️

P.S. The Japanese cheesecake is absolutely worth the hype. I used one container of yogurt, one packet of cheesecake Jell-O, a generous amount of honey, and as much Biscoff as I could reasonably justify. It turned out incredible. You have to try it!

01/23/2026

We do not need to always depend on others to reassure or validate us. We can also do that for ourselves. This is how we start to build confidence and feel more secure in ourselves. This type of self-talk is also how we can quiet our inner self-critic.

When you choose to accept and validate yourself, your brain registers that you are safe and capable. Over time, this builds confidence because you’ve created a habit of treating yourself with respect and kindness. It’s like telling yourself every day, “I’m worthy, I’m capable,” and your brain listens, slowly reshaping your self-view. This simple act is powerful because it can help you face challenges with more resilience and trust in yourself.

Self-validation is a powerful tool to ease anxiety, doubt, and self-criticism. But it’s important to balance it with accountability to avoid excusing behavior that might not be in our best interest or aligned with our values. To monitor this balance, start by asking yourself two questions: Am I validating my experience while also considering how my actions or choices impact others around me?

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

01/16/2026

It is easier said than done. In therapy, this advice is usually met with resistance. So, I wanted to share a few things:

Sitting with your feelings” means learning how to stay present with the emotion you’re experiencing without pushing it away and without letting it run the show. You can do this by:

First, name the feeling. Start by simply labeling it: “I am feeling ___.” This shifts you out of “Why am I like this?” and into “What am I feeling right now?”

Next, regulate your nervous system. Use a simple calming strategy, such as slow, deep breathing with a longer exhale than inhale, dropping your shoulders, or placing your feet flat on the ground and noticing the contact

Lastly, remember that emotions are information, not instructions. Your emotions can point to something important (e.g. a boundary being crossed, a need not being met, living out of alignment with your values, or running into a real barrier). That information is useful. But it doesn’t mean you need to immediately act on the emotion itself

For example, if you’re feeling unmotivated, you can acknowledge, “I’m feeling unmotivated today,” without letting that feeling decide your behavior. You might still choose to do the task anyway. When we skip this step, emotions often end up driving our actions in the background, without us even realizing it

If you’ve been feeling stressed, that emotion can help you identify what’s contributing to it. If those stressors are within your control, you can work on reducing or adjusting them. If they’re not, the focus may shift to coping, boundaries, or support instead of problem-solving

And sometimes, sitting with your feelings makes it clear that you don’t have the capacity to manage them on your own. In those cases, I would strongly encourage reaching out for professional support or community supports (especially if it feels unsafe to sit with your emotions)

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

01/15/2026

Every time choose a different response, whether it’s pausing before reacting, resting without guilt, or setting a boundary that feels uncomfortable, you’re doing more than just coping. You’re actually retraining your brain to feel safer, more focused, and more in control.

These moments might feel small, but they build up. They shape how your mind handles stress, how you talk to yourself, and how you show up when things get hard.

This week, I encourage you to pick one small shift from these and do it often enough that your brain starts to believe it. Which one will you choose?

This was my most loved post of 2025 so sharing it again as a reminder that our small decisions and habits have a huge impact on our mindset, healing, and growth

Take care of your mind and body. Love, Nawal ♥️

thebraincoach

02/10/2026

02/07/2026

02/06/2026

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