Recognition Therapy Space

01/09/2023

A few days left to sign this position for a gst exemption for therapy. Counselling should be more accessible, not less. And as a health service it should be exempt from this gst under our current tax law.

It's time to remove GST/HST on Psychotherapy services in Canada!

01/05/2021

GLIMMERS
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Glimmers are a concept developed by Deb Dana, I highly recommend her books on incorporating polyvagal theory into therapy for therapists and clients alike.
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Just as triggers are cues that signal danger to our nervous system and move us into a stress response, glimmers are signals of (relative) safety. Noticing and attuning to glimmers moves us into and helps increase our range of resilience, the ventral vagal part of the nervous system where we have the most access to pleasure, intimacy, joy and creativity.
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Noticing glimmers can be challenging at first. The feeling of being triggered is often more obvious and familiar than the experience of ventral vagal activation that occurs when we attune to a glimmer.
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Yet, as adrienne marie brown and others have pointed out, wherever we place our attention grows. The more we start to pause, notice and tune in to the somatic experience of glimmers the more deeply we feel their physiological impacts.
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One more thing to note is that attuning to glimmers is not a form of bypassing. We're not negating the experience of being triggered. Instead, we're cultivating what's know as dual awareness, the ability to be aware of multiple states simultaneously.
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To get a sense of what your glimmers are:
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1) Make a list of the five senses as well as any other ways of knowing and perceiving you have access to. For each of these subheadings list out your favourite things to experience through each of these senses.
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2) Pause and notice how this exercise has made you feel. Tune into any sensations, emotions or energies that are present.
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Enjoy!
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xo
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Sarah
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12/02/2020

Maybe happiness isn't the point.
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We're culturally conditioned to show only the 'happy' parts of ourselves, to post only up-beat smiling photos. As a result of this conditioning, many of us feel like we're failing for having challenging emotions and difficult times.
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Social media gives us the message that our angry parts, our snotty crying parts, our anxious parts are unsavoury and should be kept hidden. Consequently, we internalize the message that if we really mastered life, we wouldn't have those parts, our darkness would be annihilated by a constant state of bliss, joy, and good vibes.
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In my view, the so called 'positive' emotions are beautiful and they make up only half of the full range of human feeling. So, I'm practicing showing up for myself and being present with the states that are difficult and easy.
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Paradoxically, chasing 'good vibes only' can actually bring on more experiences of difficulty. We can end up clinging on to the 'good', and resisting the 'bad', which blocks the flow of life from moving through. In the book 'Come As You Are', Emily Nasgoski says that emotions are like tunnels. There is always at a light at the other end, but you need to be willing to walk through the darkness to get to there.
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Basically, everything in life is ephemeral. Joy passes. Sorrow passes.
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What would it be like to meet each fleeting experience with curiosity and wonder?
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xo
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Sarah
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11/18/2020

From the Ecos*xual's Manifesto by Annie Sprinkles & Elizabeth Stevens
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"We shamelessly hug trees, massage the earth with our feet, and talk erotically to plants. We are skinny dippers, sun worshippers, and stargazers. We caress rocks, are pleasured by waterfalls, and admire the Earth’s curves. We make love with the Earth through our senses."
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via .perret
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*xuality

11/10/2020

COUPLING DYNAMICS + S*X
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Coupling happens when two normally unrelated things occur together with enough frequency or intensity that the nervous system binds them together.
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Examples of couplings:
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Fear + Arousal
Contraction + Or**sm
Shame + Nakedness
Rejection + Self Harm
Intimacy + Terror
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So, how do we work with this?
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1) Become Aware of the Coupling
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In order to uncouple a coupling dynamic we first have to notice that it exists. To become more aware of what may be coupled in your nervous system, you can journal around thoughts, feelings and emotions come up for you when you consider self-pleasure intimacy or s*x!
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2) Un-couple with compassion.
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Shame and judgement tend to keep old couplings in place. Attending to these couplings with kind, compassionate awareness works to loosen them over time.
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3) Re-Couple
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Consider what new coupling dynamic you would like to have in place of the old ones.
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Maybe you would prefer to re-couple
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Pleasure + Arousal
Relaxation + Or**sm
Vulnerability + Nakedness
Self Compassion + Rejection
Intimacy + Trust
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3) Practice, Practice, Practice!
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Recoupling doesn't happen all at once. Overtime, when you bring consistent compassionate attention to the old coupling dynamics, they will start to lose their grip.
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When Or**sm shows up alongside Contraction you can say to yourself "These two have been coupled together for some time. I'm holding this with compassion, and I'm going to explore bringing in some relaxation now"
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*xualhealing
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Photo of The Full Blue Moon on Samhain 👻🐺 by

11/07/2020

CONSENT + BOUNDARIES
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Saying 'yes' starts with saying 'no'.
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We can only ever say a real and meaningful 'yes' to something if we trust that we could say 'no' to that thing and that our 'no' would be respected.
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If we feel that our 'no' will be met with coercion, judgement or manipulation, we can't give a true 'yes' and there is no real consent.
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There's a lot of talk in the world of s*xual healing about finding and making lists of our likes, turn ons, and the things that accelerate our passion and desire. While this can be helpful, I've found that oftentimes our sense of what is a true 'yes' for us doesn't really come online until we've had ample opportunity to say 'no' and have it be truly respected.
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If growing up there wasn't much space given for your authentic self-expression, and you were expected to conform to the norms of your family, finding your 'no' can be tricky.
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Especially if you were taught that anger wasn't an acceptable emotion, finding and claiming your boundaries might involve embracing your anger and letting it teach you what 'no' feels like.
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Not sure what you like? Not sure what turns you on? Not sure where you desire and turn on went?
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Try saying 'No!"
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When the body trusts the sacredness of the 'No', real authentic ‘yeses', desires and true embodied consent become more available.
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11/06/2020

ROOTING INTO THE EARTH
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Grounding is a foundation skill in nervous system work, trauma healing and magical practice.
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Most of just live our lives up in our heads. Some of us have made it down to the heart, but very few people, in settler colonial society, are truly living in the lower body. As a society we're disconnected and dissociated from our points of connection to the Earth.
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When we're grounded, we feel alive in the lower parts of our body. Sensation can flow through the feet, legs, pelvis, hips and ge****ls. This is key for s*xual healing.
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Real groundedness means being in reciprocal relationship with the Earth below. We can draw on her energy, and she can take our excess.
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Just right now, what would it be like pause and notice your connection with the Earth?
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Maybe things slowwww down a bit?
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Possibly you're more aware of your feet and/or your sit bones?
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Perhaps you're more attuned to the pull of gravity?
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How does your energy shift as your come into greater communion with the Earth below?
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xo
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Sarah
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Art by

11/05/2020

5 things you can do to reconnect with your body right now:
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1️⃣ Pause - take a moment to stop scrolling
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2️⃣ Orient to the space and place that you're in by taking your eyes away from the screen and moving your eyes through the room or space that you're in.
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3️⃣ Take a long deep inhale all the way down to your belly. Sigh out the mouth as you exhale.
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4️⃣ Notice anywhere you're holding unnecessary tension. Maybe your jaw wants to relax, or your shoulders want to soften. Maybe the belly doesn't want to be so pulled in.
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5️⃣ Notice the quality of your energy. Pay attention to the speed, intensity, shape, temperature, or direction of your body sensations.
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Once you've moved through the five steps, you might let the information you're receiving from your body guide you as to what to do next. Keep scrolling? Take a sip of water? Get up and move? Find somebody to ask for a hug?
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Your body knows what you need. All you have to do is learn how to listen.
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xo
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Sarah

08/19/2020

EATING AS A CONSENT PRACTICE

Example: I’m a full body “Yes!” to these amaaazing raw chocolates from

Currently learning about hunger and fullness as a consent practice in ‘s amazing book Want: 8 Steps to Recovering Desire, Passion and Pleasure After Sexual Assault.

When we’ve been through experiences where our consent has been violated, we often need to go through a period of teaching our body that our “no”matters and will be respected, especially by ourselves. In the book, Julie explains that fullness is an internally felt “no” or “stop” signal and hunger is a fullness is an internally felt “yes” signal.

Honouring our “yeses” and “no’s” moves us into greater self-consent, an essential component in feeling safe and at home in our skin.