08/16/2023
Score-keeping devalues what your partner offers to the relationship. When we focus on what they are not providing, we lose sight of what they are providing.
It is more than okay to feel that a need is not being fulfilled, and it is also okay to get a need fulfilled outside of your relationship.
We often find our place and role in a relationship. If each person is contributing, it is okay if the contributions are different things. Can you open the space for your partner to offer in a way that feels comfortable for them?
At the same time, calling your partner forward by asking for what you would like more of is beneficial to both of you.
What is not beneficial is saying every little thing needs to be 50/50 as one person may naturally take on a particular âroleâ in the relationship. Find a rhythm that works for the both of you.
Think of equality in terms of contribution on the larger scale. If we get stuck on equality of every little task and relationship responsibility, we will assume the role of the relational referee.
