09/12/2024
Forgiveness is SO important! Don't forget to forgive yourself first.
With Love and Forgiving Light,
My mother once told me,
“If someone hurts you, forgive them, but never forget what they’ve done.”
For years, I carried those words with me, a silent reminder as I navigated new friendships and relationships. At first, it seemed simple. But over time, it became exhausting. Offering kindness and trust only to be met with betrayal took its toll. Admiring someone, only to discover they’d been speaking ill of me behind my back, left a deep sting.
One day, tired and frustrated, I asked her,
“Do they even deserve my forgiveness?”
She smiled softly, folding the laundry she’d been working on—a daily task she did without complaint.
“Child, everyone deserves forgiveness. If someone wrongs you once, forgive them. If they hurt you again, give them another chance. But if they betray you a third time, then it’s time to forgive yourself.”
Confused, I must’ve furrowed my brow because she set down the clothes, gently taking my hands.
“Forgive yourself for believing in them. Forgive yourself for trusting too easily. Forgive yourself for giving them that second or third chance when you thought they’d change. And most importantly, forgive yourself enough to let go—of hatred, of revenge, and the weight of your past.”
The next morning, I found my mother sitting quietly, tears falling as she stared at an old photo. Her closest friend of fifteen years had betrayed her trust. I sat beside her and asked if she was angry. With a deep breath and a familiar smile, she shook her head.
“My heart has no space for hatred. I don’t deserve to carry that weight. I’ve forgiven her, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten. The next time she sees me smiling, despite everything, she’ll know who truly suffered.”
Wiping her eyes with the handkerchief I’d made her for Mother’s Day years ago, she added,
“The greatest gift you can give to someone who’s hurt you is to show them you’ve moved on. Let them witness the life they could never break. We only get one chance at this, so don’t waste it carrying the pain they left behind. Let them see what they lost—and how, in their own way, they made you stronger.”
In that moment, I understood. Without her wisdom, I might still be held captive by burdens that were never mine to carry.
✍️ Unknown
