Vaughan Counsellors

02/23/2025

Your true self is based on your spontaneous, authentic experience, and it makes you feel alive. Your false self, on the other hand, is a defensive facade—it may seem real to others, but it lacks spontaneity and leaves you feeling dead and empty (Winnicott, 1965).

07/18/2024

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

04/17/2024

Close relationships are characterized by high levels of interdependence and are cornerstones in the construction of our self-concepts. In spite of the high cultural value we place on independence in the West, research findings suggest that our interpersonal self may be more fundamental to our self-concept than any inner-directed models of self. Strong, satisfying relationships that are mutually rewarding have the most impact on the sense of self. The better the relationship the greater the relational self-construal, the greater the sense of self-affirmation and self-authenticity. Plainly put, the people we love define who we are (R. Neimeyer).

08/30/2023

"This kind of denial isn't lying as such; it's simply what we humans do when we experience the discomfort of cognitive dissonance. When reality conflicts with our beliefs, we have to either justify or rationalize that reality, or deny it. We try to reduce the 'dissonance' between how we think things should be and how they actually are.

Self-objectivity, and therefore increased self-knowledge, negates the need for denial." Mark Tyrrell

08/26/2023

Erich Neumann’s work, Depth Psychology and the New Ethic, teaches us that war is often driven by the projection of evil onto others. Dr Yoram Kaufmann, a Jungian Analyst from Israel, echoes this point when stating that “the greatest act of evil is the projection of our own evil onto others”.

08/24/2023

05/16/2023

“I do my thing and you do your thing.
I am not in this world to live up to your expectations
And you are not in this world to live up to mine.
You are you and I am I,
And if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.
If not, it cannot be helped.”

(Fritz Perls, 1969, in Gladding, 2000)

07/11/2022

"Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge." Fritz Perlz a 20th century psychiatrist who founded Gestalt therapy in collaboration with his wife, Laura Perls.

11/17/2021

Sometimes having depression you can feel that your life will not be good and joyful never again. It can feel like you are stuck in the mud and no chance to go back. But remember, these feelings are not forever. They can change if you change your environment, do something new, meet your needs and follow your dreams.