Rainstorm Counselling & Consulting

04/24/2024

“Screen Time & The Neurodivergent Brain: Modern Day Mental Health Considerations"

Is too much of your day spent in a power struggle with your kid over screen time? (Or maybe trying to get away from the distraction of ever-present screens yourself?)

I've just released my very first on-demand workshop! In it, I propose a broad, three step framework for healthy use of screens, and taking back your family life. At least half of the workshop is devoted to actionable strategies you can put into practice today. Follow the link below to purchase.
https://www.neurodiversityfamilycentre.com/challenge-page/screentime

09/15/2023

Last year I wrote a couple of blog posts on adult ADHD, which is essentially a developmental delay in executive functioning skills. Heres a general guide to the different areas that comprise executive functioning, and what (broad) age they might develop in neurotypical brains. (Lots of other good stuff at this site too!)

What age does executive functioning develop? Explore the growth of cognitive, communication, and motor skills from infancy to adulthood.

06/07/2023

Last month I took some time off, and watched 10 hrs of interviews with experts at Bright and Quirky's *Screen Time and Mental Health* summit. (Wow, i learned so much that I wish I knew twenty years ago, when raising my own kids!) I'm inspired to write another blog series - so look out for that upcoming. In the meantime, here's a podcast "why we should all strive to be GOOD ENOUGH digital parents". It's 40 min long, so note the button on the link to access the transcript if you prefer. Also, scroll down even more to check out episode 181 "4 Tips to Stop the Technology Tantrums" - something I hear a LOT about from my clients.

All the experts tell us that kids should grow up without screens. And while screen-free parenting is a cool idea - let's be honest, it doesn't actually work. The No Guilt Mom podcast welcomes Dr. Katie Davis this week to share how you can parent both with and without screens the right way!

06/01/2023

Is this you? Someone you know? In my work at The Neurodiversity Family Centre, I've been seeing more and more neurodiverse couples coming to me for help.

Adult attachment theory (evidence based) says that how we attach to our primary caregivers as children sets patterns in motion for how we connect to our significant others as adults. (These aren't the only two styles, there are two others.) Some sources call the "anxious" partner ... "preoccupied" instead. I think that's a better name. Because in this cycle, its important to remember the avoidant partner is anxious (overwhelmed) too - its just more hidden. Each partner is exhibiting behaviours that create worry in the other. Ready to work? I can help.

05/31/2023

Keep an eye on this space - new blog posting on Screen Time and Mental Health upcoming! (Chock full of info and tips that I wish I'd known 15-20 years ago!)

05/25/2023

Teach your children (and yourself!) a powerful antidote to Shame.

Shame starts in childhood, and tells us we are broken in some way. Parents tell me about their kids saying "sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry ..." and how annoying it is. It doesn't feel apologetic to them. Or "i'm sorry I'm a horrible kid!" Huh? Parents get confused. While guilt can sometimes be useful ("I did something bad), shame is not ("I am bad").

Simply reminding your child that they are not bad may do very little to shift Shame. If life is feeling unmanageable and you are feeling weighed down by all your (very Canadian!) "sorry's" .. who do you need to say "thank you" to instead?

05/24/2023

This past week I took some time off, and watched 10 hrs of interviews with experts at Bright and Quirky's *Screen Time and Mental Health* summit. (Wow, i learned so much that I wish I knew twenty years ago, when raising my own kids!) I'm inspired to write another blog series - so look out for that upcoming. In the meantime, here's a podcast "why we should all strive to be GOOD ENOUGH digital parents". It's 40 min long, so note the button linked here to access the transcript if you prefer. Also, scroll down even more to check out episode 181 "4 Tips to Stop the Technology Tantrums" - something I hear a LOT about from my clients.

All the experts tell us that kids should grow up without screens. And while screen-free parenting is a cool idea - let's be honest, it doesn't actually work. The No Guilt Mom podcast welcomes Dr. Katie Davis this week to share how you can parent both with and without screens the right way!

01/19/2023

Nature or Nurture? How much influence do you ACTUALLY have on how your kids turn out? After my own often challenging parenting journey, and after spending a lot of time counselling overwhelmed, anxious and stressed out parents ... I've developed the belief that we give ourselves waay too much credit. Which gives one a sense of freedom! Now I'm learning that research confirms this. As Dr. Barkley says - just relax and enjoy the show - because its over much too soon.

Russell Barkley

12/14/2022

What are your strengths? What about your children's strengths? How can you create a culture of appreciation for each others? Research shows 24 character strengths, grouped under 6 broad categories. I know of at least one child therapist who uses them to organize her sessions with her child (12 yrs and up, maybe I should say youth) clients. Here is a 15 minute survey that everyone can do - its free :)

Do you know your character strengths? Once you do, you’ll be empowered to face life’s challenges, work toward goals and feel more fulfilled, personally and professionally. Take the free personality assessment test from the VIA Institute on Character so you can discover your strengths today.

10/18/2022

In the process of struggling with mental health problems, new doors in our brains can open to more creative endeavours. Which one of these photographers are your favourite?

Depression afflicts 350 million people worldwide, but there's still a stigma attached to it. Through depression photography, a light is shed on this issue.

10/14/2022

I've found that one of the more common reasons people looking for counselling choose me is that they like the idea of getting out of the office, getting off of their screens, and going for a walk together. Next week I'm starting a course "Intro to Nature Based Therapy". This quote (found in the pre-reading) resonated with me:

“Knowing that you love the earth changes you, activates you to defend and protect and celebrate. But when you feel that the earth loves you in return, that feeling transforms the relationship from a one-way street into a sacred bond.”
Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants

Greater Victoria has so many beautiful choices! Where do you want to walk? Benefits of Walk And Talk Therapy Walking in nature is calming, which can be beneficial if you are talking about tricky issues that may bring up challenging emotions. It can be less intimidating than meeting in an office with...

09/03/2022

At the end of July I published part one of a two part series on adult ADHD. Here is part two! My original intent in writing this was to help translate an abstract diagnosis into everyday problems. What does ADHD look like in real life? In planning and researching it, I came up with more ideas of how to turn those problems into solutions!

In part one of this series, I explained what adult ADHD is, and how it works in the brain. In part two, I’ve curated a list of twenty chronic problems that seem to occur with more frequency in those with adult ADHD. (These examples are all drawn from people I know, and/or stories I have …