08/29/2019
I rant ALOT about the harm caused by unnecessary interventions. I'm passionate about birth NOT being a medical event. This does NOT mean It is never called for, or shouldnt be an option. Because life doesnt always go as planned, and there are certainly times when 'extra' help really is called for.
A birthing story --
Today I spent the day in the hospital. But this is how today began.
In march, I had a positive pregnancy test. I applied for a midwife and got one! I went to my first appt, everything was good. At easter time, I began spotting. It didnt stop, but it wasnt much, just spotting.
Finally, about 6 weeks later, at the end of may I asked for an ultrasound, because I had never had bleeding during pregnancy before, outside of loss.
At this point it was the end of May and I was '17 weeks pregnant'. Baby measured 9 weeks, and had no heartbeat. I told my midwife I was ok to wait it out, and about 2 weeks later or so I had cramping and bleeding. So I felt it might be done and told my midwife this.
About a month later, I realized I was nauseous, and had no signs of my period (and would be about a week 'late' at this point). So I took a pregnancy test. Positive. But faint, which was odd if I was in fact a week past, since normally my tests show up dark and undeniable at 5 days BEFORE my cycle is due.
So 2 days later I took another, no darker but still positive. I still didnt REALLY trust it. So 2 days later (thank you dollar store) I took another, another faint positive.
At this point I talked again with my midwife that I *may* be pregnant again, because of the positive tests. So we met again, on august 6th. That night I had cramping again with large clots, so I emailed her that if I WAS pregnant I didnt think I was anymore, and that was that.
Fast forward to sunday. Cramping and large clots AGAIN. Odd. Maybe i hadn't completed my miscarriage.
Then last night, Tuesday, I bled, again, LOTS, my husband commented that perhaps someone had been murdered in my bath water, and this morning, even MORE, with clots the size of my fist that wouldnt seem to stop. I was dizzy and faint and nauseous.
We drove to emerg. They prepped me for a blood transfusion, and did an ultrasound to confirm what was going on. 'RPOC' Retained products of conception. A term quickly becoming my least favourite. My baby was still there. This is about 21 weeks after 'fetal demise' and my body and my heart could not take it anymore. So I discussed my 'options' with the on call doctor, then again with the Early Pregnancy Loss Clinic, and decided that misoprostal was the route I was willing to take, and that I will work on naturally boosting my iron levels rather than have the transfusion (my levels show as low, but not dangerously)
Misoprostal is an artificial prostaglandin that will make the uterus contract, therefore opening the cervix. The nurse asked if I was sure I was ok with it and I told her 'as much as I dont like it, I dont like my current situation either. So yes. I am willing.'
I was given a ceramic heart as a memorial, to keep in my purse.
Today was hard. But today I am thankful for intervention, because sometimes, when WE decide, it really is warranted.
**a side note, the 'I am 1 in 4' quote, that is all over social media right now is not entirely correct. 1 in 4 PREGNANCIES end in loss, that means that far more than 1 in 4 women experience at least one, know that you are not alone.**
