Joann Lameck Counselling Services

07/23/2016

The following was written by Jane Arden. Don't know her a friend posted this and I just read it. This reminded me of 2013-2014 the 6 months I took care of my mom before she went in to a seniors home. The only thing I could add to this story is that I am glad I had those months with my mom and I wish she was here now. My mom passed away March 16 2016 and I miss her.

Jane's story:
My mom's personality is changing so much. She gets so frustrated which is understandable. Alzheimers is a so**********ch. She told me the other night that she was going to sue me when 'this was all over'...Lord have mercy. She is getting really paranoid and really impatient and just thinks every one and their cat is out to get her. The other night she walked over here with my grandmother's old mink coat and said that 'those women were trying to steal it...'
She wanted me to hide it in the basement.

That same night she came back with a jar of pennies and nickles and dimes and said that she'd 'split it with me...'
That there were 'A few thousand in there that we could use for a trip...'

I could see the companion care worker standing on her steps watching where she went. Sheri was kind enough to give her her space and let her walk over here. I was sound asleep when she rang the door bell and I almost went through the ceiling.

It makes me sad.
All of it.
The changes and the challenges and the weird things that get put on repeat in her head. She is constantly on the move. She never stops. She folds and walks and putters and moves objects and sits up and looks through the trees for imaginary people.
It's exhausting.
If I didn't have help I would sink so far down I'd never come up again.
The hardest part is that she is often mad at me.
She looks at me with such hatred that it takes my breath away. And then it passes, and I see her bubble to the surface of herself again and I wonder how my life got to this place.

If you'd told me two years ago that I'd be here, I wouldn't have believed it.
And yet, so much laughter, so much insane gladness and joy.
It's such a contrast from one minute to the next and it teaches me constantly. It makes me stronger and more humble and more empathic and caring and kind.
It makes me stand taller than I ever thought I could and I am so grateful for the pain of this crazy wonderful life.

It's all going to be ok.
It's just life being life and you've gotta embrace it all with your heart pounding away on your sleeve and a smile on your face...and don't forget to cry, cause that'll get you through anything.
My mom says it's God's lubricant to get you through the tight spots.

now that's a good one.

06/15/2016

There has been a great deal of criticizing of technology i-phones, social media, etc. I today would like to comment on the benefits and positive healthy aspects of this method of communication and building community and staying connected and informed.
In 1976 I moved away from family and friends from Ontario to Calgary Alberta. This was a good decision for Dave and I as far as opportunity was concerned to provide for our family. However, I found it lonely, and was very disconnected. My only option was to use a phone (land line) calling long distance. Mostly calling my mom and it cost me more money then we could afford, so only happened once a month. I lost touch with friends, and was not able to keep up to date with family members. I have lived in Alberta, plus many cities in Ontario and in for the last six years. BC (away from my kids and grand kids), I have meant many people from all of the places I lived. Before social media and mobile phones I would miss out on keeping connected and up to date.
Now move forward 40 years. I am able to connect if I want on a daily basis, get updates almost moment to moment, not loose touch with friends I've made across the country and can chat with anyone, anywhere in the world even if they are away on vacation. I can find and communicate with those who are close by and when they are out shopping can easily ask them to pick up stuff I need. If I am with them shopping I can find them in the store if we went our separate ways, If I am lost (which happens to me often and causes me a great deal of stress) all I have to do is check my GPS or call for help.
As I age and start to forget things - my phone reminds me or a simple call gives me the help I need. I use my phone to pay bills and to be pay by e-transfers from clients, to make appointments, clients text me when they will be late or have to reschedule, This has made work easier. Students send me their assignments and can text me with questions when they need help. All of this happens while I go on with my life doing the things I enjoy (like having a cup of tea). I am connected as much or as little as I want, or need to be while still getting space which I need and things done when I need to.
I use to work 12-16 hours a day and 4 hours of that was just getting back and forth from work. Now I can work from my couch, phone counselling, mentoring, coaching, doing my finances, organizing my schedule. Plus I am informed as I need to be and can prepare programs with the world of information at my fingertips - even going to the library for research online. If I want or need a break I just shut everything off. The problem is not technology which has added to our life. The problem is not shutting it off when you need a break. Life does not get better then this!

06/11/2016

It seems strange to me that as I get older I have trouble hearing yet at the same time noise brothers me. I find people in general noisy. Just came back from a bakery restaurant, great food, nice deco, lots and lots of noise. I found though if I met my mind wander the noise slipped into the background and I barely heard it. The moment I re-entered my surroundings by being aware and present the noise level went up and became distracting and annoying making it difficult to relax. Maybe that is why the brain automatically spaces out when it has had enough. I think that is a very healthy way to balance us out on a regular consistent bases. The problem comes in when we think negatively about a built in function that is actually good for us. People or we ourself will criticize us for not paying attention, not caring, tuning out, missing the point and just being plain rude. So any experience or thoughts on this view are always welcome.

06/04/2016

Well here I go again. At the end of June I will be moving to Windsor Ont. and running my business from there. Glad to be away from the business of Toronto and closer to family. Will update my phone and mailing address after I get there. Emails the same. Watch for updates.

11/29/2015

Preventive Psychology is definitely a better way to go. Learning to live life in a way that prepares you for the difficult moments. It also will help you to be healthier and happier on a day to day bases. As well as not stumble and mumble your way through by not be more self aware and present. One hint towards making this shift happen is to create therapeutic moments in your daily schedule. Once you establish these positive habits they will stick with you replacing the bad habits that pull you down and keep you stuck. This is not complicated but you may have to rethink what you are doing now and what you would like to create for yourself that will be helpful each day.
So what is therapeutic? It is different for everyone. But here is a short list of ideas that I'm sure you already have known about but haven't necessarily adopted into your lifestyle. They are the little things that give you breathing space, an opportunity to just be still, moments of enjoyment and pleasure. Here are some of mine. Everyone who knows me will not be surprised at what is on the top of my list.
Sitting with a fresh cup of tea and enjoying every sip.
Reading a good novel that you can get lost in.
My daughters favourite was gardening.
Listening to music.
Dancing alone.
Moving my energy in any way- cutting grass, riding a bike, walking, shovelling snow.
Crying or expressing my emotions when it surfaces
Baking
Taking a long hot detoxing bath in candle light or the dark
Sitting at Starbucks or other relaxing place over chai tea.
Laughing
Talking
Being still- empty of thoughts of what to do.
Having a "done list" instead of a to do list. A done list is one where as you complete a task you write it down and check it off.
Colouring
Crocheting
Sleeping when my body says sleep.
Having no sense of time.
Writing -journaling
Meditating
Studying and learning new things
Driving
Sitting in nature
Swimming, sitting in a hot tub
Being present with people I feel comfortable to be "ME" with

Make your list and start doing the things you love everyday throughout the day to rejuvenate yourself and be kind to yourself. A few minutes a day every hour even on busy work days will be the best way to use therapeutic moments to practice Preventive Psychology.
LIVE LAUGH AND LOVE yourself throughout the day.
All this and more has helped me to get through the bad days and kept me centred during the ordinary busy days.

11/29/2015

I am restarting my business in Toronto. I have office space at 50 Gervais DR. Near Don Mills and Eglinton Ave. off of Wynford Dr.
I am also taking phone clients for those who do not live in the area.
For more information or to make a referral or appointment Call or text me at 416-790-7726.
I will also be teaching at Canada Christian College starting in January.
Thanks for your support in this last year it has been greatly appreciated.
Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday.

06/24/2015

I am presently in Ontario and only accepting private clients who are willing to do phone counselling.

05/26/2015

Some good books at a great price on Amazon.

From Stress to Stillness
By Gina Lake
Stress often seems insurmountable, but this essential guide can help you conquer anxiety for good! Packed with exercises and practices that will help you overcome stress triggers — and reach a new level of serenity.
$1.24 Originally: $3.99

04/09/2015

03/16/2015

Don't let someone else's negativity or your fear cause you to doubt yourself!

03/11/2015

Thought for the week