10/04/2025
I’ve done this dance with him for years…decades.
The push and pull. The promises and the silence. The “I love you’s” and ”I miss you’s” with no real follow through.
Since my twenties, I’ve tolerated half-effort energy and “pretend plans” — the kind that keeps you hanging on with just enough hope to stay, but never enough consistency to feel secure.
Every time I told myself, “Maybe this time it’ll be different.”
And every time, it wasn’t.
I’ve had other relationships over the years, tried to move forward, tried to forget — but somehow, it was always him in the back of my mind. The one I couldn’t quite let go of, even when I knew better.
He’d string me along, disappear, then come back with words that sounded like love. And I’d fall for it again — not because I didn’t know my worth, but because I wanted to believe people could change.
But the truth is, I was the one changing.
After years of breaking, healing, and rebuilding myself, I finally saw it for what it was.
Not love.
Not effort.
Just a pattern I kept mistaking for my future.
Today, I was supposed to go see him.
But I didn’t.
I was the one who bailed.
That choice didn’t come from anger or malice — it came from peace. And from being so damn tired of loving someone so much without ever being loved back in return.
Because I’ve worked too damn hard to rebuild my life just to let half-hearted energy back in.
And for once, it’s not him in the back of my mind — it’s me.
The woman I’ve become.
The peace I’ve created.
The life I’m protecting.
Letting go isn’t weakness — it’s the highest form of self-respect. It hurts to let him go. But I have to. For real this time.
Because when you’ve spent decades giving chances to someone who only gives you confusion — walking away becomes the ultimate act of self-love. 🖤
If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a cycle with someone who gives just enough to keep you hoping, but never enough to feel safe — you’re not alone. It’s exhausting to love someone who doesn’t match your effort, who keeps you second-guessing yourself, and who makes you question your worth. So today, choose yourself. You deserve a love that feels like home, not a game. 🤍