12/12/2020
Earlier on, in our childhood we’ve learned to employ different strategies in order to maintain a certain state of comfort in our interactions with our peers or family members.
While in the past they were pretty useful, they might have become outdated and need to be revised, and today I had the chance to review one of them.
In the past, if I’d have something to say to a friend or a cherished family member and noticed that they weren’t paying attention, I’d just wrap up the conversation and go on with my day, and as this situations would repeat for about 3 times over a period of time, I’d stop connecting with that person.
As I am older, I have leaned to communicate with people about the way I feel when I give them my undivided attention and they seem physically into the conversation but mentally involved in something else.
And this is how I’ve vocalized my feelings with my friend today:
“Because you matter to me, I feel the need to share with you something just as important for me.
Life is all we have and it’s measured in how we feel while we’re spending it. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but whenever we decide we’d like to connect, regardless of the length of time, I give you my undivided attention and thus pieces of my time on this planet.
Since you’re dealing with other stuff while talking to me, it gives me the feeling of being some background noise and I don’t want to feel like this.
To avoid this type of interaction that determines me to withdraw from our friendship, I’d appreciate if in the future you’d let me know about your available time slots when you can be just as present as I am.
I thank you for your understanding and wish you joyful days with your family!”
I cherish people’s time and energy as I give them my I divided attention, so the next time we’re about to connect please, respect my time outside of my working hours too.
My free time doesn’t mean free to waste, it means free to experiment other stuff than work, because I strongly believe that we’re made to live life as we see it fit, not waste ourselves and our energy!
and