ILRES

14/09/2024

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐫 𝐁𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟?

Men, Listen Up!

The more you focus on yourself, the more you naturally attract women. But the moment you start obsessing over women, you begin to lose them. Here's the truth: you become irresistible to women when you invest in yourself.

Improve your physical appearance. Educate yourself. Learn new skills. Boost your intelligence. Strengthen your finances. Watch how you transform into one of the most attractive men around.

Instead of chasing women, you’ll find that women will start noticing you, signaling interest, and even pursuing you.

Men who focus on building and maintaining a woman while neglecting their own growth often end up losing her. After all, why would she stay with a man who isn’t committed to his own self-improvement? Once she’s "fixed," she’ll seek out a man who’s invested in himself—someone who understands the power of self-care.

Remember this: prioritize yourself, and the rest will follow.

Bide Nelson E.
The Optimizer 💯

13/09/2024

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐅𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭.

A woman's faithfulness and loyalty extend beyond fidelity; they are also reflected in how she values and protects her body. A truly faithful woman regards her body as a sacred and private space, reserved for her partner alone. She understands that her body is not for public display or to seek the attention of other men.

Such a woman honors herself by preserving her dignity and self-respect. She knows the importance of modesty and the difference between dressing with elegance and class versus dressing in a way that draws s*xual attention. A faithful woman upholds these values, maintaining her loyalty not just in action, but in how she presents herself to the world.

A woman who publicly exposes her body signals a desire for attention from other men, which can undermine her faithfulness. By seeking external validation in this way, she indirectly compromises the loyalty and devotion expected in a committed relationship.

Bide Nelson E.
The Optimizer 💯

31/08/2024

𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐢𝐩: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.

After a breakup, one of the hardest yet most crucial steps toward healing is forgiveness—especially forgiving the person who caused you pain.

I once went through an incredibly painful breakup and, like many, I wanted to heal as quickly as possible. I realized that forgiveness had to be at the core of my recovery. So, I dedicated an entire month to writing, reflecting, and teaching about forgiveness. By doing this, I understood that if I didn't embrace forgiveness, the pain would turn into bitterness and slow down my healing process. This practice helped me immensely.

If you're struggling with the pain of a breakup right now, your feelings are valid. It’s natural to dwell on the past, but remember, you can’t change it. Instead, focus on the future and let go of what’s behind you. True healing begins with forgiveness—first for yourself, and then for the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness and healing are deeply connected. Holding onto bitterness only prolongs your suffering. Regardless of what the other person has done, strive to find it in your heart to forgive. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary—because forgiveness is more about your well-being than the person you're forgiving.

Embrace forgiveness. Speak it into your soul. Teach it, live it, and love it. Negative thoughts and emotions will inevitably surface, but with a constant commitment to forgiveness, you will find peace within yourself.

Wishing you a speedy and full recovery.

Bide Nelson E.
The Optimizer 💯

13/08/2024

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐎𝐧 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐬: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐒𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬.

Ladies, setting standards is key to attracting the right partners and avoiding those who aren't a good match. Many women fear that having standards will limit their options, but the truth is, it's quite the opposite. By setting clear standards, you'll actually eliminate unsuitable suitors and make room for meaningful connections with those who truly align with your values and goals.

Without standards, you may attract a large number of admirers, but most of them will be wrong for you. By setting standards, you'll not only save time and energy but also ensure that you're investing in relationships that have the potential to truly fulfill you.

Remember, your standards serve as a guide, helping you navigate the dating world and identify those who share your vision and values. Don't be afraid to set the bar high – it's the first step towards finding a truly remarkable partner.

Bide Nelson E.
The Optimizer 💯

31/03/2024

28/02/2024

The partner you choose is a reflection of your standards.

The problem is never the other person, but do you have what it takes to attract your kind(Value).

This is a friendly reminder to someone trusting God for a kingdom marriage. Please from sight, if you can’t discern the qualities of someone rooted in Christ, save yourself the time and energy and focus on yourself.

It is always worth it at the end.

24/02/2024

𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬.

You never might know what some words mean to some people. You never might know how constantly reminding your partner how much they mean to you can change the dynamic of your relationship.

Words are powerful when they are used appropriately.

The constant use of words of encouragement, praise, care, and love for your partner can spice and improve your relationship beyond your expectations.

Be intentional about building a great relationship. Make it a habit of always praising and appreciating your partner. Tell them how you value and cherish them.



Bide Nelson E.
(The Optimizer)

22/02/2024

𝐂𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐟𝐟 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐄𝐱 (𝐍𝐨 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞).

The importance of "no-contact rule after a breakup that brings about pain can't be overemphasized.

"No-contact" rule simply means cutting off all communications with your previous partner following a breakup. It involves not engaging in phone calls, texting, direct messages and "likes" or "comments" on their social media, and in-person meetings.

Restrain from watching or getting update about them from their statuses (WhatsApp, Facebook etc). Muting their status is proper if you can't restrain from watching it and you don't want to delete their contact.

No-contact rule also means you stop following up with their mutual friends to gather any form of information about their lives. Better still, don't entertain any form of discussion that has to do with them.

You have to practice this until you are completely healed & feel nothing emotional about your them.

The danger of keeping contact with an ex is that there is a possibility that the emotions of romance, angër, anx!ousnëss, bittërness, sädnéss, hopelëssnëss, & confûsion that you might have toward them due to the situation will continue to remain high in intensity.

Going "no contact" allows you to healthily & critically process your lost relationship while pinpointing some lessons you have learned from the relationship, especially the errors you made so that you don't repeat the same errors subsequently.

No-contact rule can also help you to easily mend your heart (heal), accept the relationship is over, and prepare your mind for the next relationship when you are ready. Remember that your mental health is important and ensure you protect it.

Worthy of note that, applying the no-contact rule doesn't mean you should detëst your ex. The best path to easy healing after a breakup is to choose forgiveness over bittërness.

Also, no-contact rule might be difficult to completely practice when you have a child with the person. This might be a point of contact between you & the person.

Spread love.

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Bide Nelson E.
(The Optimizer)

29/03/2023

𝐈𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐓𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐌𝐞, 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐒𝟑𝐱 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐌𝐞.

Hey beautiful lady, have you ever found yourself in a situation where your guy persuades you to have s*x with him to validate your love for him or better still to show him that you truly love him? Of course, I think for most ladies the answer will be yes.

We are in a world where love is interpreted to mean s*x. Whenever we hear the statement "I love you", our mind immediately goes to romantic love and s*x. Sadly enough, the world has configured our minds to think that way and this has hurt the lives of many.

Do you want to have s*x with that person? Just so you know: 👇

📍 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚.

Love and s*x are two different things. S*x is just one way out of the many ways to express romantic love to a romantic partner.👈 Read that again! Hence you must not use only s*x to express love to your partner. Take special note!

If anyone there persuades you to make love to him to show him that you love him, that person firstly has not understood what love is. And secondly, he's drawn in lust and not love.

In relationship, there are many ways you can express love to your partner and not s*x only.

📍𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭.

A true romantic relationship should involve some reasonable amount of commitment but s*x has very little to do with commitment.

S*x is one expression of commitment in a romantic relationship but s*x never creates commitment. S*x by itself never creates or breaks a relationship.

A person can make love to you hundreds and thousands of times and still not commit to you. So if you think by giving him s*x, you will cause him to commit, please know that you are living in illusion, fantasy, or deceit.

If someone you are dating lives you because you refused them s*x, they didn't love you in the first place, they were just lusting after you. If all that a man can see in you is s*x, then such a man is not worth keeping.

📍𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐚𝐥.

For any relationship to thrive and be sustainable or long-lasting, that relationship must have a life-long goal whereby both partners strive to actualize for the rest of their life.

S*x isn't a long-life goal. It's a temporary goal. S*x alone can't cause your relationship to be sustainable. If what keeps or bonds you and your partner together is dominated by s*x, that relationship isn't going to last or if you both are married, your relationship will not thrive.

The only thing that can sustain your relationship and cause it to thrive always is when you and your partner have a life-long goal (not a temporal goal like s*x or bringing forth children).

📍 𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐫.

A lot of people have misunderstood the many of intimacy. Intimacy doesn't mean s*x. In relationship, you can have true intimacy with your partner without necessarily having s*x.

S*x is the highest level of intimacy. However, you can travel up the highest level of intimacy, that's having s*x with someone, and yet you don't truly experience true intimacy with that person.

Two couples can have s*x regularly but they are way apart emotionally, socially, spiritually, and even intellectually.

True intimacy is achieved when fragile and imperfect couples can share the secrets of their heart, mind, and soul without being afraid of betrayal. It is when couples allow each other to discover their moves and visions; what inspires them; what eats them; what they are running towards and running from; and what silent destructive enemies lie within them.

This type of intimacy can't be achieved through s*x. So you can have s*x with someone and still don't experience true intimacy with that person. Take your time to build intimacy rightly and not just focusing on s*x. Don't be deceived with the belief that intimacy can only be gotten through s*x.

📍𝐒𝐞𝐱 𝐢𝐧𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬.

S*x is more spiritual than physical. It is not just about the physical pleasure you get. There is a spiritual bond you create with any person you have s*x with.

This is very dangerous to you if you keep having s*x with the wrong people and especially when you create a soul tie with people with unhealthy spirits. This particular topic is too deep and it can't be explained explicitly in this article.

Again, pre-marital s*x isn't not acceptable in our Christian belief.

==≠==================

To conclude, before you make love with someone, know what you are getting yourself into. Don't allow anyone to persuade you.

Before you go into any romantic relationship, have your values and principles, and don't compromise any of your core values/principles. Don't try to please someone and displease yourself.

I'm not here to dictate to you what to do with your life. You have the right to live the life you want to live but be aware of the consequences of your actions.

If you are to make love to anyone, it should be from a place of mutual agreement and not you being persuaded directly or indirectly by another person/partner to infringe your principles or go against your values.

Don't be scared to lose anyone who wants you to compromise your core values and principles. Also, endeavour that those values and principles are right per your belief system or spiritual principles.

The yam and the knife are in your hands. Do what suits you.





𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠
(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐫)

25/02/2023

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐔𝐬𝐞 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐓𝐨 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐀𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 & 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐇𝐞𝐫, 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈𝐟...?

Nowadays, every rich man is handsome. Rich men have the upper hand to get the kind of woman they desire. It rather becomes so unfortunate when the woman they chose does not have a genuine love for them, especially when she is being influenced by the man's money and she never learned to love him.

The majority of women nowadays are driven by money. Their love or relationship decision is influenced by money. They prioritize financial comfort over genuine love. Am I saying that money is not important in a relationship or marriage? 'No, absolutely not.' Money is needed to keep a healthy relationship. However, if what bonds two people together in a romantic relationship is money, then the foundation of that relationship is built on sand and the wind can blow it off at any time.

Guys note this! you might succeed to keep a woman physically using money or affluence but you 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭 succeed to keep her emotionally & spiritually. You might never succeed to make her love you genuinely especially if she hasn't built spirituality to a higher level and doesn't have comprehensive knowledge about romantic relationships and or marriage.

If you only succeed to use your wealth or money to keep her, then come to think of it, life is so erratic. What if something disastrous happens tomorrow & you lost your wealth? What will become of your relationship or marriage? You might get the worst treatment or experience from the person you call your girlfriend/fiancee/wife. She might even leave you. Yes, it's very possible and even easy.

Don't be so focused to get the woman of your choice, dream, or desire (perhaps because of her beauty or your obsession), and forget about the things that matter. It's wise to go for a woman you love and 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲, paying attention to her qualities.

Foolish men use their money to buy love and think their money will give them everything they want including peace, genuine love, a great family and children, and so on, forgetting that money does not produce some of these things/conditions/qualities. It only takes people with great values, qualities, knowledge, skills, and most importantly spirituality to produce such results and or conditions.

On the other hand, wise men are concerned about looking for a woman they love and 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 them genuinely. A woman who buys their vision and is willing to support them. A woman with whom they can build a home together.

The woman who truly loves you will accept you in all conditions, better or worst, and will submit to you. She will be patient with you. She will not think of jeopardizing her fidelity and trust. She will be loyal to you and more concerned about building her home with you.

As a man aspiring to get married, don't be so distracted by the physical beauty of a woman, pay more attention to the qualities of the woman you want to keep. Lastly, it's wise to go for the woman who loves you genuinely than to run after a woman you desire because of her physical look. Remember, the beauty you see now won't be there forever. What will be left of her when her beauty diminishes? Think about that!

Prioritize a woman's quality and love for you more than her physical look. Good looks won't be there forever, but genuine love and great qualities can endure forever.

𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐲! 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞 = 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬.

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝕷𝖔𝖛𝖊.




𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠
(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐫)

05/02/2023

𝐌𝐞𝐧 & 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐃𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭.

One key impediment to relationship success is the lack of recognition in the difference between men and women.

We are in an era where competition between men and women in relationships & marriages is in the rise as days pass by. We see men and women tussling in their relationship instead of cooperating.

There has been persistent fight about who's more important: man or woman. The misunderstanding of the concept of women emancipation in the sphere of relationship and marriage has increased this constant fight and tussle in relationships and marriages, and this keep deteriorating.

Now get this! 👇

Women & men were created equal but they were also created different. This is part of their unique design. In general, there are differences between men and women in the way their body is designed, in their communication style, emotion and others.

Different here doesn't imply inferiority or superiority, neither does it mean less or great. Simply put, different in this context doesn't make the man superior or greater neither does it make the woman inferior or lesser.

Men and women were created equal but different for obvious reasons. This difference is necessary because of their purpose. For example, a woman's body is designed to carry a baby in her womb and to put to birth, what a man can't do. A man on the other hand is designed to produce the seed (s***m), what a woman can't provide.

Away from bodily design, men and women are different in many ways. Their functions and responsibilities in marriage are different. Something we must recognize and accept. For instant, the headship of the man in relationship/marriage must be recognized, accepted and respected by the woman. Just like the ex*****on or management responsibility of the home by the woman has to be recognized, accepted and respected by the man.

While some of these differences are natural per how we were created by God, others are as a result to our cultural, societal, religious and spiritual design. In as much as the society has designed the responsibility and functions of men and women in relationship and marriage, flexibility and diversity in thinking and actions between couples is very much encouraged.

Couples mustn't be so rigid to the cultural and societal specification on the behaviour and responsibility of men and women in relationship or marriage. Couples can mutually agree and decide to make their relationship/marriage befitting to them which might be contrary to their cultural or societal standard, however this should follow the standard and values of their spiritual and religious belief.

There's need for couples to recognize their strengths, weaknesses and differences in general, and work collaboratively in helping each other become the-best-version-of-themselves as well as making their relationship better or thrive.

The difference between men and women in relationship and marriage should be seen in mutual strength as they recognize and affirm their complementary differences & purpose. This difference shouldn't cause men to devalue women and see themselves superior. Also, this difference should not make women feel inferior and tussle with men to feel great.

In relationship or marriage, couples must recognize their differences and work together to better themselves and their relationship. Let the difference between couples complement them and help them work in harmony rather than separating them in spirituality, physicality and emotion or even cause them to become competitive, tussle and fight each other.

Your relationship can always get better when you and your partner decide to build it with intentionality.

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫

The lady on the photo is not my woman. Make man no move me news oh. 😂

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊.

Please, read and share.




𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠
(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐫),
𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭.

29/01/2023

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭 𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 | 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐓𝐨 𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐈𝐭 | 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐨.

Part one of this article explicitly explains collision of history in relationship, what it means and its effects. For better understanding, read Part One of this article.

Collision of history is an indispensable experience in every romantic relationship. This is the root cause of most issues in romantic relationships and some young marriages. We can either use this advantageously to build a better relationship or use it wrongly and destroy our relationships.

Exploring this wrongly, we could only complain, nurse negativity, be judgemental, run into quick conclusion about our partner and do nothing to change things or the situation, while it takes away life from our relationship gradually and even leads to a breakup/divorce.

On the other hand, couples could instead approach their differences with a mindset of building their relationship intentionally by taking reasonable & proactive actions that will eliminate unnecessary pressure and intense judgement of each other, by seeking clarity of each other's history & how they can avail themselves with this to build a thriving relationship or marriage.

Now follow me closely. 👇

Conflicts and pressure in relationships or marriages could be reduced when couples make deliberate effort to master, understand and practice the following:

📍 𝐀𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲:

Firstly, couples must be aware of the fact that their history of experiences will clash in certain areas or situations and as such they'll not always have the same or similar viewpoints. There will be disagreement, conflicts and even stress at times.

Couples being aware of this is the first step to address conflicts in their relationship because it gives room for them to willfully understand each other and make further exploration in order to handle and solve their issues amicably.

📍 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲:

Awareness of a history or conflicting history isn't enough. Deliberate & conscious effort to study and understand your partner's history is what makes the difference.

Couples commiting to each other requires them to have an understanding, insight and awareness of each other's map, through which they think, interpret, understand and make decisions. It is also important for couples to understand the stages of human relationships and the elements that sustain a successful relationship.

We owe it to ourself and to our partner to foster this integration through engaging in higher brain functioning, through meaningful conversation, understanding, logical thinking and reasoning, especially in areas where we often have differences or find it difficult to agree. This improves intimacy between couples.

📍 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞:

Change they say is constant. Couples must be ready to make adjustments or changes in their attitudes when such attitudes or behaviours constantly put their relationship under pressure, tension or affect their personal and relationship growth.

Change of attitudes or behaviours especially bad ones is paramount in maintaining a healthy, thriving and sustainable relationship. Couples must make conscious effort to get better each day in order to cordially accommodate each other.

📍 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞:

Great relationships aren't built overnight. Let's be very honest with ourselves: people don't change overnight. Building a formidable and thriving relationship requires time and patience. As your partner makes conscious effort to grow in whatever area, be patient & wait for his/her growth to attain maturity to enjoy that best-version-of-himself/herself, which is a continuous process.

Also, tolerance is an indispensable element in any relationship. You just can't have a partner who has a 100% quality you desire. You yourself aren't a person with 100% quality. Couples must learn to tolerate each other in areas that don't really threaten their relationship.

📍 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭/𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭:

Couples are unique with unique gifts or talents. It's important to recognize your partner's gift and allow him/her executing in his/her area(s) of gifting while you execute in yours. Couples should recognize and understand their strengths and weaknesses and make room for them to complement each other.

A greater part of conflicts spur when we don't recognize our partner's gifts/talents and how they can be useful to us and our relationship in general. Couples can reduce conflicts in their relationship or marriage when they give the chance for each other to exercise their leadership potential in the area they are gifted, rather than one person trying to be Mr/Mrs. 'know it all.'

📍 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞:

It's important to categorically state that pressure, tension and arguments in relationship don't necessarily mean incompatibility.

The pressure couples face in relationship, especially Godly relationships isn't meant to destroy them but rather help to build their relationship with stronger bond, love and trust as they get to know each other better through deliberate actions.

With time, couples will begin to think alike, feel alike, share happily in each other's company, learn to sense each other's mood and their viewpoints begin to shift from 'yours' and 'mine' to 'ours'.

There lies the power of love and relationship. A relationship can always get better when couples are intentional about building it. Yes, it's possible!

𝕷𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖘 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊.

Photo from Prince Edmond

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𝐁𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐄𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐠
(𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐫),
𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐄𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐬𝐭.