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Έλλα, Buea (2026)

04/04/2026

Your Physical family vs Your Soul Tribe.

As we grow and evolve, we will normally gravitate towards our soul tribes and it's in very few cases that your soul family or tribe will consist of your physical family or old friends.

Normally, your physical family is based on biology or legal ties (parents, siblings, relatives),formed through birth, marriage, or adoption.
Or the connection is often shaped by culture, upbringing, and shared environments.
You may love them deeply, but not always feel emotionally or spiritually aligned and most times, these relationships require too much effort, boundaries and healing and it's sometimes very exhausting maintaining such connections.
In simple terms: they are your starting point in life.

While your soul tribe or family gives off the vibe of feeling like you've known this/these person(s) for a long time even if you just met or their energy usually feels familiar.
Your soul tribe is the family you choose or feel drawn to on a deeper level and is usually based on energy, alignment, and spiritual connection.

Most times, your soul tribe consists of genuine and authentic friends, mentors, partners, or even online connections.
With such connections, you feel seen, understood, and accepted without forcing it as you often share similar values, growth paths, or life perspectives.
In simple terms: they are your chosen people and they usually feel like home.

From my experience and other spiritual folk I've worked with, I've noticed that most of us who experienced abuse from our families, healed before gravitating towards or soul tribes.

Another contrary point I would love to point out which may not be generally accepted is that we may meet several people from our soul tribes at each along our journey who are not destined to stay with us forever.
I came to this realization when I kept evolving from spaces and connections I used to resonate with and the more I felt at home with myself, the lesser I resonated with such communities and I'll never understand why some people can't grasp this concept.
Personally, I hope everyone who genuinely is trying to evolve, grows to a point where they no longer need me (no hard feelings) because some of us are here to activate others but I must not be a permanent fixture in their lives and it doesn't have to bring enmity either!

Much like when a child keeps growing, they move from depending on the adults in their lives to becoming independent but they don't forget these people and don't have to depend on them forever either!

Let's learn to accept that the fact that, that someone no longer resonates with us doesn't mean we're less important. If you can't accept the fact that some people will grow apart from you no matter the impact you had/have over them, you're playing God in their lives and the only one who'll end up hurt will be you.

©Έλλα

01/04/2026

What people call ancestral or generational curses.

I believe I've spoken about this previously but let me add more to it.
The energy that keeps recurring in a lineage or circumstances that don't seem to end ,that repeats in families can be stopped but it's only possible when you study the patterns of the predecessors and approach the problem differently.

I have read stories about a family whose members didn't make it past 45 years and the person who shared the story at the time was the only living member, she was actually sharing it because her 45th birthday was fast approaching and I guess she was afraid. I think she became a pastor and made it past that birthday.
In such cases, there's spiritual atonement needed to put a stop to such, but in less severe cases like people not getting married or being divorced after a few years or not having children or generational poverty , there's usually a pointer and in the problem also lies the solution.

Let's say your parents didn't teach you financial independence and money can't stay in your hands, you have to, on your own, learn the opposite of what you were taught and apply the lessons learnt.
Sometimes you pick up a bad habit of the mismanagement of funds due to financial abuse from your parents which is also a learned habit from their own upbringing.
That energy will linger with you, your children and their kin and even if they do get many financial opportunities, they're going to mishandle the money because they weren't taught to feel safe around money or didn't learn about having an abundance mentality.

Say your mom stays with your abusive father or partner, there's no way that's not going to be ingrained in you that it's normal to tolerate such behavior. The sense of normalcy you witnessed makes you blind to the fact that you're learning a bad habit and because your mom tolerated it, you'll find it normal to also tolerate it. Until you decide that you don't want any part of that kind of reality, you're going to continue that loop , reincarnate and keep reincarnating till you learn that lesson.

The energy of whatever ancestral curse never dies till someone from that bloodline decides that they're going to take a very different route and make tough decisions and stick by them.

I used to know someone whose mom had four of them from four different dads and her biggest dream was to get married and have all her children with the same man...lolest. What needed to be addressed was her mother's inability to pick healthy men who wouldn't desert and emotionally abuse her ; but what did she do? She married a man who is emotionally unavailable and deserts her randomly. If not for the fact that she has mocked some people for being single, she'd have picked herself up, healed and picked a better man for herself because she's quite beautiful and if she leaves the man she's currently with, she can bag a better man. Unfortunately, her daughter will grow with an emotional void caused by the not-so- present father and would most likely be attracted to men like him because her mother normalized the behavior. You see---> energy.

So what do you do, peep energies from your bloodline, decide they're not for you and live a totally different life.
In my case, I had shown early signs that I wouldn't want to be married because of how I saw my grandparents live. The more I healed, the clearer certain things became for me like child bearing. Not that I am afraid of turning out like my mom. I just have decided that I would rather spend my lifetime taking care of and nurturing me and the little girl within without the noise from the outside world and I don't care who thinks otherwise. I would never feel guilty for deciding to walk away from and starting a completely different life from what I grew up in.
Another simple way to change my course is to have a child and raise her differently from how I was raised or better still, stop the bloodline and adopt a child but the best option so far for me,is to remain child-free and I feel no guilt about it.
And one last thing, do not approach your healing as if you're doing it for the collective, you're doing it for you!!!!
It may have started with our predecessors,but it should end with us!!!

Happy New Month

© Έλλα

30/03/2026

Let's talk about the female narcissist in relationships.

To be fair, the more I healed ,the more people considered me a narcissist and it's usually laughable because people don't know how these people do work.

In friendships, they like you early, bombard you with the kind of love you'd wished for and even provide for you in ways that you haven't experienced before. Little by little,they will enter your life in a very sneaky manner and you'll think you've finally found a friend "just like you"; a friend who understands, a friend who just- gets you and you'll have no idea that behind this facade lies an agenda.

I've always been funny, and I think most abused/traumatized people end up developing a strong sense of humor subconsciously as a coping mechanism. This is always draws people to me one way or the other and I rarely make friends by being the one going after them. I could like someone and imagine we'll make great friends but it usually transitions into something serious when we keep "coincidentally meeting". Narcissistic women or girls actually adopt you as a friend and they don't let go until they get what they want from you.

Most of these women don't actually like you but they find some of your qualities attractive but it's those same qualities that make them end up resenting you because they can't curate them for themselves.
Also, the term "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" holds true for these people because some know you from smear campaigns or previous gossip and they befriend you to actually hurt you more or confirm what they've heard about you. That's why I don't let people in easily anymore. We can vibe at a distance but we don't have to be close.

These women's one biggest aim is to replace you and we should be aware that not only do they want to replace you in a relationship, they don't want you to exist at all because your existence is a threat to their imagined peace and "possible success". They don't believe the world is big enough for everyone, they actually think the world is not enough hence their insatiably in friendships.

Like their male counterparts,they befriend you, love bomb you, isolate you, gaslight and triangulate you in friendship circles while playing the caring friend when things start going wrong for you. Whole time,they were the ones who ignited the flames you're trying to douse.

There's this girl I was friends with, her gossip was her trademark and I'd been a victim of hers one too many times. She would do me bad and when I got hurt from her actions, would come console me ,whole time, she was the rat eating my feet and blowing air. One time, she actually shot herself in the leg and I caught her then cut her off immediately. That put a stop to many things I was going through because she was the culprit.

When you finally catch up with the lies told by these individuals, they'll openly confront and blame you for whatever happened because like their male counterparts, they lack accountability. Apologies only come when their hands are tied or they have too much to loose. I've written about homoeroticism here and this attribute is also very common with narcissistic women. Some would rather be considered as jealous of you when they really have romantic feelings towards you and would ensure the world hates you instead of them acknowledging their very natural human desires.

Because men are very overt, people think that there are more male narcissists but there are actually more female narcissists than men. They're just better at hiding it (covert) than men , hence the population of more covert female narcissists.

Although I have looked at someone sideways when she asked me what my agenda was because I was "too kind" to her, I still think it's a valid question in today's world. I'll attribute her question with trauma and abandonment wounds because I kind of was being empathetic with her living situation but she was someone I'd been acquainted with for a long time and we got close , so I understood what she was experiencing at home , hence my kindness..but I question people's motives these days especially women because most of them don't want to befriend you because they genuinely like and appreciate your genuine nature, they come close to study what makes you, you then try to erode you from the face of the earth.
Stay alert ladies

© Έλλα

27/03/2026

I think I'll do a series of posts on narcissism till I get tired or post as spirit leads.

One dynamic that I've studied with children who have one narcissistic parent is that the other parent is usually passive; also abusive, absent or dead as we have seen in my case.
I didn't have nor know my father and it made my mother's abuse dire because I couldn't run anywhere except to her immediate family who were in turn also abusive or neglectful one way or the other.

In order for abuse to continue from a narcissistic mother, the present father is usually a complacent parent because they're afraid of the narcissistic rage. Any one who stands up to the abuse of the child cannot stay with a partner who constantly puts their child(ren's) lives under duress.

Yes some parents are very covert and could consistently lie about things like their child (ren's) health or paint the child in such a subtle manner that makes the other parent to loose trust in the child like consistently blaming her for loosing valuable items. I saw a girl whose mother used to hide their clothes just to have them look for it and punish them when they couldn't trace them. Till they became aware that she was the one hiding them, they were oblivious to her antics. Such a mother could use such circumstances to make the father see how careless the child is because of the constant complaints.

As much as healing does a good job to make you see that it wasn't your fault for the abuse, I'll like to repeat that there's really no winning with narcissists if you continue playing with them which actually brings me to the real points I'll love to make.

People will give you advice based on who they are, not what you are. Take me for example, I post about how I struggled till I healed and am applying the lessons learnt and what works. Those who go through or have had similar experiences will resonate with my messages and those who have not will just probably learn a thing or two that doesn't usually stick! It's not a bad thing either!

What's dangerous though,is that sometimes, the people or pages we love and follow may post things that could harm us unintentionally or keep us in a loop simply because they refuse to address certain things in their own lives.
For example, I had a conversation with a well meaning person I used to follow and be acquainted with and with whom I shared a few woes with and her advice was that I disregard "the little toxicity" I was seeing because all families have it . We laughed about it but a few months later, that "small toxicity" almost ended me. Then I came to find out she had her wounds that she'd not really worked through, hence her perception of events were a projection of her own inner world.
When they say "people see you as they are" it's true and I'll love to add that "people perceive things as they are". The events, people and situations are all just a projection of your inner world that you need to work through and as you keep refusing to deal with them and prefer staying a victim, life will keep getting harder and the situation will keep coming up in different ways and relationships

What I'm saying in essence is that apply what you learn from people with caution. Not all advice is good advice and even well-meaning people cannot tell you how to feel because they're not wearing your shoes.

Let me share some gems about how powerful women and the feminine are in honor of women's month!!!

If you've been on this page for a while, you'll remember some posts I made on mother wounds and its relation to our money and I've consistently written that healing your mother-wounds aligns you with your money through nervous system regulation.

Now, if a single individual can go through this due to a disconnect from the expected love of a mother, how do you expect the world to have or be at peace when nations chose to bastardize themselves and disregard the matriarch?
You have to come to the place where you don't doubt that women created the world and that Earth is feminine!

Yes, poverty exists in nations that lack matriarchal nourishment and appropriate welding of power and we've seen how the rise of the feminine is now coming with a lot of destruction.
While I care that innocent lives are lost, I have also accepted that for change to occur, death has to happen. No revolution succeeds without bloodshed unfortunately.

Just like in our lives, we have to go through several ego deaths to shed everything that is not true to our innate selves. The concept of waiting for a savior in the form of a man will serve you no greater purpose because you need balance in both your masculine and feminine energies.

There's no yin without yan, these two must coexist in every healthy individual. They must also exist for any society to be considered healthy/wealthy ; that's why most men like Trump who operate solely on masculinity has led America which used to be considered the most powerful nation to war ...Same way a woman who leans too much on the feminine will only attract abuse and users! You see, African nations operate solely on the feminine because they only believe in receiving...they have lost their way as the true leaders of the world and just wait for so-called developed nations to keep providing without taking the lead. There must be balance!!!

When you lean too much in the feminine, you create loss and when you lean too much on the masculine, you create stress for yourself; there must always be a balance in both energies.

I know we are all striving as women to be heard, to be respected and treated with decency but it all starts with us. You can't put your heart in another's care and expect them to know how to treat it right. When you do that, you're creating circumstances to be abused as we have seen with how African nations are exploited daily and you can't also fight your way through everything like Israel and America.

However, if you believe that creation began with womanhood, why then would you rid yourself of such power to think that you need a man to complete you? Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?
Food for thought 🤔🤔🤔

© Έλλα

22/03/2026

Narcissistic Rage

The reason why it's important to remain calm when someone is deliberately trying to put you out of character or provoke a reaction from you is because they've already created a script, anticipated your reaction from previous experiences and know you'd play right into their trap. When you don't, they are the ones now in that bad spotlight they tried to cast you in and they usually react by being extremely offensive and in some cases, physically violent, unless you're dealing with a covert narcissist who will try to control the narrative by apologising and restrategizing a future comeback. This is known as the narcissistic rage.

When you befriend your nervous system, you let it control new narratives around you and it brings successful results since it doesn't operate from a place of ego.
Yes, our egos are usually in control when we are faced with problems that require us to defend and or protect ourselves. That's why I encourage people to embrace the title "wicked person" because you've accepted and nullified the power someone tried to wield against you by trying to proof that you're indeed a bad person.
That's the best way you can actually expose the narcissist. If you even try to expose them by trying to show people who they are, they're going to one-up you and "expose" you instead. So don't play the script they've planned, create a different path by responding differently, you've taken away their power.

Another concept that's been completely misconstrued by mainstream media is the trauma bond concept; otherwise known as Stockholm Syndrome.
The name Stockholm Syndrome emanated from a bank robbery attack in Stockholm, Sweden where the hostages ended up defending their captors after being held for six days in their standoff against the police.
The victims refused to testify against or blame and instead defended their captors and we've seen how common of a phenomena this is with victims of abuse (just go and read from pickmes).

Why these victims did what they did was because their captors treated them well and engaged them in conversations and ensured they'll get out unharmed but they forgot they were being held against their will!!! They didn't have the right to go in and out of the bank without the threat of harm but because they were being *breadcrumbed* attention, they decided these guys were "not-that-bad".
How many of us have been with men like this, who come to rob us of our peace of mind and freedom, when we speak out,they breadcrumb us with a few minutes of attention, convince us they mean well yet, still hold us captive in the name of love while convincing us to defend them?
How many of us have had mothers who only rewarded us when we let ourselves be controlled by them? How many of us covered their heinous abuse and pretended we were alright because she'll breadcrumb us when people were watching? How many of us tried so many times to fix the relationship we didn't break simply because we believed they couldn't really harm us?
And how many of us have sat with friends and loved ones, and excused our partners' abusive behaviors and even fell out with well-meaning people because we thought we were loved?

I can wake up and write a book about narcissists and narcissism because I was obsessed with finding out why my mother hated me. I came across the term and everything started making sense and that's how I decided to take courses in psychology.

While all those happened, they were roadmaps to me and I'll forever be grateful I didn't let any experiences break me, I used the lemon to make the sweetest lemonade known to man but not everyone is equipped to let things like these chart their paths, some would rather be victims and not do the work to evolve into the butterfly they're destined to become!

Beware of narcissists, they're usually very "loving and caring" until they're not!

© Έλλα

20/03/2026

There's a stage in healing called the Sophia stage:

The stage which in simpler terms, is considered the full circle,where you're home in your body and you've gained back full sovereignty/ autonomy.

At this point in your growth journey or life, a lot has shifted in you and you know and believe you're really the creator and the all, you stop caring about men, relationships, the world and only how your inner world looks like.
At this stage, you know you have the power to bring your desires to reality and are grounded in this truth because you have witnessed it in your life.
I think I've been at this stage for a while now ...mine is even accompanied with or by asexuality.

Most people think I don't care about men because I was hurt or because of past traumas but if you're really on this page, you'll see my complete disinterest in them with regards to relationships because I know I'm whole by myself. If it was just trauma, there's a high probability I'll be feeling the urge to have someone 'kpansh my itid' but I don't.

I guess that's why most of my teachings about sovereignty don't resonate with some people because they believe that they will like to be in a relationship (to be fulfilled).
This is not to say a great relationship (with a man) is a bad thing but I'm at that place where I know no human completes me and no relationship fulfils me, save myself.

I realized as time went on that I don't feel any sexual attraction to anyone, just an emotional connection with someone is enough for me and it's the greatest feeling of all. I mean I even bought a toy to see if I could self-please but I couldn't use it because the urge was not there.

That's why you'll see that I really don't have time to continuously bash men because they're really not my problem and I've also come to a place where I know that because of deep conditioning, some women are lazy about fixing their lives and only expect it to get better when they get a partner. Everything I want and need, I give myself and that's okay. I believe every woman deserves to know that it's actually a beautiful feeling to not put your happiness in the hands of anyone but yourself.

This stage could happen to people at any given point in life, there's no appointed time where this should happen and it's not a phenomenon that happens to all. The Sophia stage is not a must but I can tell you it's absolutely liberating and the amazing thing is that it all starts in and with the mind.

© Έλλα

18/03/2026

For those who don't believe in astrology, here's one for you.

2016, life became so unbearable, I moved out of our house,changed towns and started actively looking for a job. I wrote a project, sent it to someone and asked for a loan to execute it which led her to redirect my needs to my mother who ensured I begged her for everything and accompanied every "help" with bountiful insults. My sole intent for moving was to gain financial independence but I guess I had lessons to learn , that was how I found myself in Nigeria in 2017, studying fashion design against my wish. I loved it but that wasn't where and how I'd anticipated doing it.

For those who're not aware, we're in mercury retrograde and this is me 10years later, haven left home to gain total independence and somehow,my mother still found a way to creep back into my life to "try to help". Only difference, I don't need it and truth is, she isn't reaching out to actually help, mercury is just using her as a last attempt to see if I've really learnt and grown and since I'm a risk bearer, I just engaged her to see if she'll follow through with her words.

Here's the back story. She's been in communication with another relative I've maintained contact with, and the relative has been telling me consistently that my mother wants to send money through her but she doesn't really have a Naira account, so I told her my Cameroon mobile money account is active as it's what I use for business dealings over there. So mother dearest reached out and after blocking her, I said f**k it, unblocked her and asked her what's up? She said she wants to know how I am and if I needed help.

Honestly, this would have meant a lot to me if this had not happened a thousand times before because one thing narcissists love is to want you to need them. A decade ago, she had said same and when I accepted the help, she ensured she abused me to the extent of even calling me " a fool she's trying to rescue" like I was a stray animal.

So today even after being independent of her for so many years, mercury decides to play this silly joke again and if I didn't know better, I'd probably have admitted to needing the money even if I don't because who doesn't love more money?

I told her if she wants to give,she should go ahead but I'm not going to be asking her for a dime. Mind you, this is someone who has been disturbing another about being worried and wanting to send something. So I said no.
For those who think astrology is fake, me accepting anything from her would take me back to ten years of abuse and she'll do even worse, worse still, I might not make it out alive if I do let her in.
So tell me again, is astrology real or not?

Let me share some gems about how powerful women and the feminine are in honor of women's month!!!

If you've been on this page for a while, you'll remember some posts I made on mother wounds and its relation to our money and I've consistently written that healing your mother-wounds aligns you with your money through nervous system regulation.

Now, if a single individual can go through this due to a disconnect from the expected love of a mother, how do you expect the world to have or be at peace when nations chose to bastardize themselves and disregard the matriarch?
You have to come to the place where you don't doubt that women created the world and that Earth is feminine!

Yes, poverty exists in nations that lack matriarchal nourishment and appropriate welding of power and we've seen how the rise of the feminine is now coming with a lot of destruction.
While I care that innocent lives are lost, I have also accepted that for change to occur, death has to happen. No revolution succeeds without bloodshed unfortunately.

Just like in our lives, we have to go through several ego deaths to shed everything that is not true to our innate selves. The concept of waiting for a savior in the form of a man will serve you no greater purpose because you need balance in both your masculine and feminine energies.

There's no yin without yan, these two must coexist in every healthy individual. They must also exist for any society to be considered healthy/wealthy ; that's why most men like Trump who operate solely on masculinity has led America which used to be considered the most powerful nation to war ...Same way a woman who leans too much on the feminine will only attract abuse and users! You see, African nations operate solely on the feminine because they only believe in receiving...they have lost their way as the true leaders of the world and just wait for so-called developed nations to keep providing without taking the lead. There must be balance!!!

When you lean too much in the feminine, you create loss and when you lean too much on the masculine, you create stress for yourself; there must always be a balance in both energies.

I know we are all striving as women to be heard, to be respected and treated with decency but it all starts with us. You can't put your heart in another's care and expect them to know how to treat it right. When you do that, you're creating circumstances to be abused as we have seen with how African nations are exploited daily and you can't also fight your way through everything like Israel and America.

However, if you believe that creation began with womanhood, why then would you rid yourself of such power to think that you need a man to complete you? Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?
Food for thought 🤔🤔🤔

© Έλλα

15/03/2026

Let me share some gems about how powerful women and the feminine are in honor of women's month!!!

If you've been on this page for a while, you'll remember some posts I made on mother wounds and its relation to our money and I've consistently written that healing your mother-wounds aligns you with your money through nervous system regulation.

Now, if a single individual can go through this due to a disconnect from the expected love of a mother, how do you expect the world to have or be at peace when nations chose to bastardize themselves and disregard the matriarch?
You have to come to the place where you don't doubt that women created the world and that Earth is feminine!

Yes, poverty exists in nations that lack matriarchal nourishment and appropriate welding of power and we've seen how the rise of the feminine is now coming with a lot of destruction.
While I care that innocent lives are lost, I have also accepted that for change to occur, death has to happen. No revolution succeeds without bloodshed unfortunately.

Just like in our lives, we have to go through several ego deaths to shed everything that is not true to our innate selves. The concept of waiting for a savior in the form of a man will serve you no greater purpose because you need balance in both your masculine and feminine energies.

There's no yin without yan, these two must coexist in every healthy individual. They must also exist for any society to be considered healthy/wealthy ; that's why most men like Trump who operate solely on masculinity has led America which used to be considered the most powerful nation to war ...Same way a woman who leans too much on the feminine will only attract abuse and users! You see, African nations operate solely on the feminine because they only believe in receiving...they have lost their way as the true leaders of the world and just wait for so-called developed nations to keep providing without taking the lead. There must be balance!!!

When you lean too much in the feminine, you create loss and when you lean too much on the masculine, you create stress for yourself; there must always be a balance in both energies.

I know we are all striving as women to be heard, to be respected and treated with decency but it all starts with us. You can't put your heart in another's care and expect them to know how to treat it right. When you do that, you're creating circumstances to be abused as we have seen with how African nations are exploited daily and you can't also fight your way through everything like Israel and America.

However, if you believe that creation began with womanhood, why then would you rid yourself of such power to think that you need a man to complete you? Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?
Food for thought 🤔🤔🤔

© Έλλα

Έλλα

04/04/2026

01/04/2026

30/03/2026

27/03/2026

22/03/2026

20/03/2026

18/03/2026

15/03/2026

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