anxiety.master

27/11/2024

A Slice of Life - The Anxiety Master Podcast.

Have you ever felt like you’re walking a path that doesn’t quite feel like yours?

Or wondered if your life truly reflects your deepest values and direction?

In this latest podcast and article, we explore the idea of life alignment—what it means to live with a sense of purpose and clarity and how to course-correct when we feel lost or out of sync with ourselves.

Drawing from reflections on how we can lose touch with our direction, I’ll share practical insights to help you assess your own life alignment and take meaningful steps forward.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, uncertain, or simply curious about how to live more authentically, this discussion offers a grounded, thoughtful approach to recalibrating your journey.

Explore the power of Structural Alignment for personal growth with practical insights from a seasoned psychotherapist. Find balance and purpose.

23/11/2024

Finding enough time to be with my wife is a constant struggle.

Work, childcare, appointments, things that 'will just take a moment'.

It all adds up to one thing -

two knackered bodies/ drained minds without much left when a potential moment together arises (usually about 10pm).

By this point, my social/ useful battery is spent, and I don't have much to offer (Svea, thanks for putting up with me).

I mention this because it highlights one of the biggest dangers to a lasting relationship - drifting apart.

Couples gradually start moving in different directions. Passion fades, and interest in one another reduces.

If you recognise this in your relationship and want to turn it around, you might like an article I've written:

**Three Practical, Proven Tips to Restore a Loving Relationship**

For a listen while doing the dishes, there's an audio/ podcast version included.

And if it's helpful, subscribe and join the Anxiety Master community for more practical mental health content.

Restore Intimacy and Connection with Three Proven Tips for Couples. Learn Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Relationship and Rebuild Closeness.

27/09/2024

Do you ever feel anxious or edgy for no clear reason?

Perhaps a tingle on your tongue or a slight unease in your stomach bursts forth nowhere.

Your thoughts race, your attention feels slippery, and suddenly, you're searching for answers—what’s wrong?

Is it nerves before tomorrow's meeting because you want it to go well?

Or is it lingering worry about a relationship in your life?

You scan your emotional landscape for clues to the cause of unease.

This extra scrutiny has you feeling more distracted, and sensations of anxiety may intensify.

With your attention honed in on what's wrong, your well-intentioned brain assists the search, leading to cascading worries that overlook (potential) simple causes.

The good news is anxiety is often less complicated.

And that's what this article is all about:

https://www.anxietymaster.org/anxiety-truth-false-triggers-real-challenges/

Come and join me to untangle 'true' and 'false' anxiety.

See you there.

Learn how to spot true vs. false anxiety. Understand physical triggers like sleep and nutrition. Find practical ways to reduce anxiety naturally.

21/03/2024

Recently, I experienced a mix-up with an online order, leading to a back-and-forth with the seller.

The first response I received was apologetic:

"I'm really sorry about this. We've been having some difficulties recently."

While the response acknowledged the issue, it didn't shift the conversation forward.

However, a follow-up from someone more senior changed the game.

Their opening line, "Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'd like to see if I can resolve this for you," instantly altered the dynamic.

This approach redirected my initial frustration and made me a valued part of the solution.

This exchange highlighted the powerful impact of our everyday language choices ...

and got me thinking about the message we convey to ourselves and others with deficit-based language (I'm sorry. Its my fault. I'm wrong, etc).

Of course, there are occasions when apologies and taking conciliatory ownership of a situation are right and necessary.

Yet, by shifting from a default of apologising to one of gratitude and action, we can upgrade our interactions for more constructive relationships.

It's a small change with significant effects, reshaping the tone of our conversations and how we perceive and participate in them.

So, if you're an excess sorry-sayer, you might like my article:

Why Do I Keep Saying Sorry? Learning to Break the Apology Cycle:

https://www.anxietymaster.org/stop-saying-sorry/

It's packed with tips, insights and practical steps.

There's an audio version, too. I hope to see you there : )

Do You Keep Saying Sorry But Don't Know Why? Read This Article to Stop Apologising & Embrace a Healthier Style of Communication.

20/03/2024

New Episode! "Why Do I Keep Saying Sorry? Learning to Break the Apology Cycle."

In this podcast episode, "Why Do I Keep Saying Sorry? Learning to Break the Apology Cycle," we tackle the common yet often unexamined habit of excessive apologising. The episode covers a common of excessive apologising, and h...

In this podcast episode, "Why Do I Keep Saying Sorry? Learning to Break the Apology Cycle," we tackle the common yet often unexamined habit of excessive apologising…

14/03/2024

Do you struggle to say what you mean?

Maybe, sometimes, you're raging inside but can't find the words or patience to express how you feel.

So you keep your feelings locked up. And then they erupt in some unhelpful way.

The outcome? Frustration, Confusion, Regret.

Expressing yourself clearly and calmly is the best way to be seen and heard by others.

But these skills aren't always easy.

If you recognise this challenge, come and join me in this article.

I've made a podcast version and free resource to accompany the guide.

See you there : )

Explore a therapist's practical guide to assertiveness. Hands-on steps to confidently express yourself with firm communication in any situation

14/03/2024

New Episode! "Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!"

A Therapist Guide to Assertive Communication

A Therapist Guide to Assertive Communication

13/03/2024

Have you ever been puzzled by your own behaviours or decisions? 🤔

Perhaps you can think of a time when you:

Haphazardly rushed in to help, only to later regret it. 🏃💨

Made a snap purchase for a shiny new thing you likely knew was rubbish. 🛍️😬

Sabotaged your health goals for a quick fast-food guzzle. 🍔🥤

Engaged in an impulsive online spat, only to feel yucky afterwards. 💬😖

All sorts of impulses and motivations drive our actions, and sometimes, what we do may surprise and confound us.

Procrastinating on mundane admin tasks (paying bills, admin emails) is a big source of self-irritation 📨🚫

I try to avoid these tasks, but they’re still there nagging away in the background.

My resentment builds. I finally do it. Realise it wasn’t too bad. Resolve to procrastinate less.

And then … rinse and repeat. 🔄

Why don’t I just get it done?! 🤷‍♂️

In figuring this out for myself, I wanted to share some thoughts and record a quick podcast on self-sabotage and silly habits - those self-defeating behaviours that leave us in our way.

If you’re an avoider, procrastinator, impulsive buyer, arguer (and your own to the list), join me for a listen or read. 🎧📖

Have you ever been puzzled by your own behaviours or decisions? Use this article to explore the underlying reasons for unhelpful habits and self-sabotage and create a plan to help yourself today.

13/03/2024

Have you ever been puzzled by your own behaviours or decisions? 🤔

Perhaps you can think of a time when you:

Haphazardly rushed in to help, only to later regret it 🏃💨

Made a snap purchase for a shiny new thing you likely knew was rubbish 🛍️😬

Sabotaged your health goals for a quick fast-food guzzle 🍔🥤
Engaged in an impulsive online spat, only to feel yucky afterwards 💬😖

All sorts of impulses and motivations drive our actions, and sometimes, what we do may surprise and confound us.

Procrastinating on mundane admin tasks (paying bills, admin emails) is a big source of self-irritation 📨🚫

I try to avoid these tasks, but they’re still there nagging away in the background.

My resentment builds. I finally do it. I realise it wasn’t too bad. I resolve to procrastinate less.

And then … rinse and repeat. 🔄

Why don’t I just get it done?! 🤷‍♂️

In figuring this out for myself, I wanted to share some thoughts and record a quick podcast on self-sabotage and silly habits - those self-defeating behaviours that leave us in our way.

If you’re an avoider, procrastinator, impulsive buyer, or arguer (and your own to the list), join me for a listen or read 🎧📖

Have you ever been puzzled by your own behaviours or decisions? Use this article to explore the underlying reasons for unhelpful habits and self-sabotage and create a plan to help yourself today.

12/03/2024

New Episode! "Why Do I Do It? Understand and Overcome Self-Sabotage"

Welcome back to A Slice of Life - the Anxiety Master podcast with British-registered psychotherapist Dominic Decker. Today's episode explores the concept of self-sabotage and the underlying drivers that keep us tethered to ha...

Welcome back to A Slice of Life - the Anxiety Master podcast with British-registered psychotherapist Dominic Decker. Today's episode explores the concept of self-sa…

04/02/2024

Communicating concerns without hurting someone is an art 🎨

Here are three steps to help you express yourself effectively and compassionately 🗣️🙊❤️

25/01/2024

Have you ever felt overshadowed by a colleague's success?

'Every time a friend succeeds, a little piece of me dies,' runs a well-known quip.

It makes sense.

A stranger's success is a statistical abstraction, yet the triumphs of those closer by are often more pertinent - and may even represent a potential threat.

It’s natural to compare our progress to that of people close by, which can sometimes lead to feelings of envy.

This reminds me of Richard. He was one of life's winners - and I couldn't stand him.

He just seemed to have things all wrapped up. Smooching through with grace and charm. Muh.

The green-eyed monster of envy and jealousy is a real drain. And if jealousy pops up with a colleague, you may confront it every day. Not good.

Read my article: A Five-Step Plan to Topple Workplace Envy and Jealousy.

Like many of us who’ve felt overshadowed by someone like Richard, I’ve found therapeutic ways to shift these feelings into something positive.

Here's the article:

Jealousy is a complex mix of emotions. Often characterised by insecurity, fear, and a sense of inadequacy or longing, jealousy invites comparison with others - and a fear of losing something dear. Use this post to put things right.