23/10/2025
Sometimes we say "happy wife, happy life" when we're really just abandoning ourselves to avoid conflict.
But there's a difference between honoring your partner's happiness and erasing your own needs. One creates connection; the other creates resentment. A healthy marriage isn't about whose needs win—it's about building a life that genuinely honors both.
In this week's column, I help a reader who moved across the country for his wife without voicing what it would cost him. Now he's trapped between the life he left behind and the marriage he's trying to save.
And now he’s RESENTFUL + his wife won’t move back.
As I say in my column, this isn’t a question of geography as much as it’s a question of: What kind of marriage do we want to have when we each have differing needs?
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✉️ Got a dilemma you want help with? Email me! askthetherapist@nytimes.com
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