29/11/2025
Yes, it’s true, you are the model that your child imitates, so whatever standard you hold your child to, remember to hold it higher for yourself because you are the one that your child is learning from every single day with every single interaction.
This doesn’t mean that you must or should be perfect, that’s not possible and there’s no need to put this kind of pressure on yourself. What is important is that you don’t blame your child for how you behave. It’s not fair and it’s far too big of a burden to put on them. Instead, pause and think about why you feel this way.
As adults, when we become conscious of our behavior and see that we actually have a choice, we can choose to behave more in alignment with what we’re striving for. Conscious awareness brings us closer to making the changes that we want to see in ourselves.
So yes, it comes back to us as the adult, as the parent to look deep within to know where we need to heal to become the best versions of ourselves. Doing this hard work helps us take full responsibility for our words, actions and behavior then we’ll no longer find ourselves thinking or even saying out loud to our child - “You made me yell because… or “It’s because of you that I had to do…”
No matter how it might appear to you, when you come to the awareness that your child doesn’t control your behavior you’ll see that what’s actually happening is that they are showing you where you need to grow, where you need to heal, and where you have unresolved childhood needs.
Wow, it’s huge and it takes detangling, sorting through, uprooting and letting go of what is no longer helpful. It’s a massive amount of work that takes time.
Parenting wakes us up and sometimes in jarring ways because how we behave can sometimes be a surprise to us. Choosing to see ourselves in the light that our child shines on us can be a shock especially when we encounter sides of ourselves that we didn’t know existed. It can be scary, confusing and leave us feeling helpless.
But here’s the good news, in fact it’s actually great news - When we see ourselves with greater awareness (despite how it might make us feel) and when we…
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