02/07/2026
I've been hesitant to share this because...well...my first thought was that I look homeless, followed quickly by how cool everyone elses looked in comparison.
Truth be told, Chat GPT knows a lot about me. So, while it seemed to me to be pretty one dimensional—it actually tells the whole story.
I am quite content to carve a quiet, little existence in a world striving for more—hustling and bustling, overthinking and wanting, spinning in circles, and, often, ending exactly where they began. There's nothing wrong with that. It's what we've been conditioned to do, to feel like we are lacking in some way or that we are a project in need of fixing.
If it looks like my next action may be to pitch a tent, it's because this is the home I'm creating. It's been challenging for me to want something enough to "make it happen" for a while now. The only productive action available to me is to keep showing up and make the next aligned choice. No matter how mundane it may seem.
This is not what we've been taught to do.
And from the outside looking in, it probably looks like apathy. Like I've given up. And, in some regards I have given up—on being or doing what society says I should be. Is it possible that what looks like apathy could be liberation? I do believe so.
In the meantime, I'll be drinking my hot tea, knowing that I've figured out some things that the world seems to try to push from everyday awareness. Some things that if we all embraced would lead to the collapse of much of what is misaligned.
It's not exciting or flashy, but it is quite real.
In 4 days, it will be 5 months since I unkowingly said goodbye to my old life. And, even though I am/we are exactly where we need to be, I still mourn the old one every day.
I've said goodbye to a time of sabbatical, to eternal spring, to life between volcanoes and the breathtaking natural beauty of Ecuador and the life we created there.
I'm still saying goodbye to our dog. He has a new mommy and is very well taken care of by someone who loves him at least as much as we do. The sadness is slowly fading. The sadness of leaving without getting to say goodbye, of leaving Matt to take care of so much on his own and having to rehome our sweet boy.
Had I known that moving into what so naturally releaved itself to be our next step would cost me Lucas, I never would have gotten on that plane. And we would still be in limbo. Still struggling to make something work in a place we had clearly come to completion in.
Alignment isn't rainbows and butterflies. But it is real, it is true, and it is worthy our investment and attention.
Much of my career has been hyper-focused on systems and protocols. My logical, rational mind running the show. Creating absolute genius (if you ask me😝) that was out of reach for most.
And now it all seems so...irrelevant.
One thing I know for sure is that so much of what we've learned about healing has left us trapped. Held in a cage, of sorts, of our own making. Completely self aware and, at the same time, unable to make a new choice. So taught to pull at the loose threads and "let go" that our fabric is thread bare.
Perhaps it's time to weave ourselves back together.
I'm here to bridge the transition from dissection and excavation into alignment—one aligned action at a time.
If that peaks your curiousity, I invite you to keep following along.
